How To Write Erotic Bondage Into Your Sex Scenes

How To Write Erotic Bondage Into Your Sex Scenes

There have probably been a million and one how to articles connected to BDSM after the success of THAT book, you know the one with all the grey and the lip biting and stuff. Well, I’m going to add to that pile but today I’m going to focus in on one aspect used in BDSM that can be seen in more vanilla play too. Bondage.

Adding in a little tying up action kinks up any sex scene but it isn’t quite as straight forward as it sounds. Let me guide you through the knotty problem and lead you to realistic restraint in your fiction. And I don’t mean holding anything back, that’s not encouraged in erotica.

How To Write Erotic Bondage Into Your Sex Scenes

Domestics

Do you have characters who are not into kink per se and don’t have a treasure chest full of sex toys and implements in their bedroom? To kink them up a bit without going to extremes you can easily add in an aspect of erotic bondage to their play. There are many items that you’d find lying around most houses that can be used to control your characters. There’s no specialist equipment needed.

There are the classics like ties and silk scarves which can be wrapped around limbs and bedheads and knotted without too much hassle but it’s always good to think out of the box when you’re writing. Look around you for inspiration. I can see a curtain tie back and a hook in the wall. Could these be combined to tie a lover to the window, displaying them for the world to see?

How about a long lace of liquorice or a string of pearls (faux or real it’s up to you) maybe the light pull in the bathroom could be put to a more interesting use or that roll of bubble wrap could be used to wrap up body parts not pottery.

The beauty of using items commonly found in houses is that you can easily have a play yourself without needing to part with any dosh or learn any new skills, it’s all right there before you just waiting to be discovered.

Collar and Cuffs

I don’t know how many pairs of handcuffs are sold every year for Valentine’s Day but I bet it’s a lot. They’re a classic symbol for wanting sex, pretty kinky sex too when you think about it. How many murder mysteries start with a corpse cuffed to a bed?  A lot but I think it’s best to steer aware from corpses in erotica, definitely a no-no that one.

You can use a cliché as a short cut in a story and it can work very well but be aware of being too clichéd. Having a couple spice up their sex life with some hand cuffs is a good enough premise for a sex scene but think about how you can change it up a bit.  Who’s going to get cuffed and where? It doesn’t have to be the bedroom. Maybe she can surprise us all and have a stripper pole in the living room to attach him too or vice versa in fact.

There are many kinds of cuffs too. You only have to look at the reviews here to see the different sorts available. Do your research, it’s always good to get your hands on an item to see how it feels but you can always just use your imagination, it’s a wonderful tool. If you don’t want to invest in handcuffs yourself but want to get hands on, visit a friendly sex toy shop or sex trade event where pleasure equipment is out to be fondled and fondling is actively encouraged.

Along with your hand cuffs you could try a collar too. It’s not going to tie someone down –unless there’s a lead attached- but the restriction can be particularly poignant. A character can wear a collar when their dominant partner isn’t around and it can act as a permanent reminder of their submissiveness.  The collar can be a touching present, it can be an exciting introduction to something kinky and it constricts the throat, restraining the neck in a way that can’t be ignored.

Money for Old Rope

If we’re going to tie someone up rope is gonna come into play. Now, I’m not saying you need leap right in at the deep end with some seriously impressive and sexy shibari work but rope is versatile, accessible and a great way to keep someone from wriggling about too much.

Rope is a fun thing to play with but a little more difficult to write about. Now, you’ve got to remember that not every reader was a scout or owns a yacht so talking about an Albright special, a slipped bunchline hitch or a cowboy bowline is going to leave many people scratching their heads with no clue what you’re on about.

Now of course, if your character is proficient in knots then let her use the terms but then explain them so they don’t cause confusion. When in doubt keep it simple. All the description you need is to explain how the rope lies across the person’s body and how it’s attaching them to something else if that’s applicable.

One of my favourite scenes in my latest book, Good Manors , includes rope , here’s a little snippet to show you what I mean:

Hurrying across the floorboards, I picked up the rope and flogger in one hand and the candle in the other. I settled the candle just beyond her reach at the left hand side of the beam, then unwrapped the bundle of rope until I had enough to encompass her wrist. She twisted her head to watch as I tied then coiled the rope once, twice, three times around her wrist and the beam.

“Now, I could loop this over your neck and hold that down too but since you’re gagged I won’t do that.” I just ran the rope underneath her and to the other arm.

She shifted and looked at me again as I wound the other wrist to the beam.

“Is that okay?” I asked, very much aware of how vulnerable she was and both turned on and grateful for her submission.

India nodded, narrowly avoiding hitting the beam with her chin.

“Good, if it gets too much just shake your head, don’t stop shaking it. If I see that I will stop immediately, understand?”

Of course, rope is a turn on in itself for some people. Maybe you do want to write about shibari. I suggest researching and if possible watching someone practising the art. A quick internet search will bring you lists of shibari classes, look for reviews, ask writer and kink loving friends for recommendations. You can’t beat seeing it in action. I watch some of Charlie Forrest’s workshop on rope work recently and it was a revelation. Several of the authors in attendance found it really useful for stories they were writing.

If you can’t witness it in the flesh look up videos, I think with something so intricate and precise you need to see it in action so you can translate that onto the page.

In Chains

It’s October, I’m writing about restraints, it would be remiss of me to not mention chains. The favoured shaking item of your common ghost, chains are pretty heavy duty unless we’re talking about the jewellery kind.  Chains are cold and heavy so if you want to get pretty serious then chain is a way to go.  You’re probably going to need padlocks too, but again do your research and decide what your course of action is going to be.

Chains could also be accessories on a person’s clothing, how can they then be used in a sexy way? Chains could wrap around a gate and trap people inside, another kind of restriction that could lead to some exciting interaction outdoors.

Take a trip to your local hardware store for a bit of inspiration and manhandle a link or two. Bonus points for asking a member of staff’s help.

“Excuse me, what’s the best weight of chain for tying someone up?”

Bound and helpless

I’ve gone through some of the equipment you could use in your story but let’s look closer at the emotions involved. In each situation you will have someone who is trapped in their bonds. There will be many ways characters will react to this. Some may be scared, others instantly turned on. Some might relish losing control and others might fight it. The key to a convincingly erotic bondage scene from the point of view of a submissive is making the arousal believable.

It will take time to persuade a reluctant sub to enjoy their captivity. You may want to explore why your character is so eager to be tied up. Are they a practised rope bunny? Have they practised on their own before? Sex is the action but emotion is the driving force of erotica. The reader has to connect with the people getting it on to even give a damn. So build up your characters and explain why they’re reacting the way they are.

To have someone tied up you’re going to probably also someone in control. It will depend on the point of view of your story as to if you’ll get the dominant standpoint at all but even if you’re writing from the submissive side of things you will need to describe the actions of the Dom, work out what they might say and what will turn them on.

It is really important when writing a scene as the person in charge that you temper their desire to tie up and maybe hurt the captive with a measure of care and compassion if you want to keep an air of erotic romance. It’s easy to stray from sexy domination to creepy psycho killer and that can very often pour a virtual bucket of cold water over the reader’s ardour. Of course, if you’re playing with erotic horror then there might be more flexibility.

Consent, consent, consent

Ask anyone and they’ll tell you BDSM is all about consent. You must remember this in your fiction. Stories that even hint of rape as titillation will not be accepted for publication and will get rejected from self-publishing avenues such as Amazon.  So make sure your submissive has a way to communicate their unease. If it’s a practised BDSM couple that could be a safe word, if you’ve got a couple mucking about for a bit of a laugh  it may be a simple ‘no’ will work. Just be careful to emphasise that all people in the scene tied up or not are enjoying themselves.

Now have fun in your bondage, play without restraint with constraint but just do me a favour and don’t tie yourself down to well. I’m not going to come and rescue you!

 

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