Total Power Exchange (TPE) & Useful Slaves
By Cara Sutra for Fetish Friday
I have a weakness for submissives who are firmly in the slave category of BDSM. I love total power exchange. I’m not the kind who gets off simply on Femdom sessions with a guy acting sub, tending to his fantasies for an hour then getting back to ‘normal’ roles. Much preferred is the day-to-day reality of being a Dominant woman to a 100%-of-the-time submissive man.
This isn’t to say I am romantically attracted to slaves. I’m most definitely not. But another part of me is aroused by their total submission and obedience: the part of me which is Domme. Actually it’s not merely a part, it’s a cord running through me which is labelled Domme. My dominance is just one facet making up my entire character, and not something which is just roleplay or an act.
So what’s the difference between a session sub and the slaves I enjoy? I have a fetish for TPE. It stands for Total Power Exchange. In my opinion the term is a little misleading, as there is the unspoken assumption that the opposite, that the man has the power and the woman doesn’t is usually true and that total power exchange switches it around so the Domme has control. Shocker, for most in this hetero normative, Christian Grey is everything a woman could ever want world. I tend to see TPE as Total Power Relinquishment instead, but TPE is the understood, commonly used and acknowledged term in the BDSM community, so total power exchange it is.
What an ironic submission to using the term of the scene’s choice.
It’s hot when a guy (or potentially a girl, but I tend to prefer total power exchange dominating a man as in my experience women submit differently and more sexually) gives up absolutely everything for me. Control over every aspect of their life, from what they’re allowed to eat and drink to what underwear they wear each day, budget for spends and of course, locking up that cock in a chastity cage. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the brain strain of having to micro manage a slave. God knows I have enough to do in my everyday life without directing a slave’s every single movement. But to be asked permission to do something, to go somewhere, to spend money, to touch themselves… that’s hot to me.
There have been plenty of occasions where I thought total power exchange was realised, accepted, established with a ‘slave’… only for it to be lip service alone. And no, sadly not in the spread-legs way. Not that slaves would be allowed to do that anyway! For the articulate type of slave, the creative, intelligent ones I am attracted to – as a Domme – saying the right words in the right order comes easily to them. It’s all about the “oh I’d do anything for you Mistress” and then following it up with an imaginative description of just what they’d be willing to do or are offering to do, instead of leaving it at the vague ‘well, just, anything‘ that frustrates me to hear. Anyone can chuck out an ‘anything’ in a statement, it takes creativity and skill to then describe a scene, action or gesture which causes my Mistress tendrils of arousal to unfurl and warm to the concept. And the slave.
Like I say, although these slaves who capture my interest have succeeded in moving past from the immediately ignored ‘I’d do anything but I won’t do that describing what the anything is’ slaves into ‘descriptive, creative mind which gets my juices flowing‘ territory, some have a tendency to think that’s enough. Sigh. Just that spoken or written gesture without following through to actually do the thing they suggest (or are commanded, if I get struck by inspiration and give direct instructions). Total Power Exchange – grr, relinquishment – to me means not that a slave will simply sit as an automaton waiting to be instructed and useless otherwise; nor will they spout the right sounding words without any intention of following up with action.
This is simply my understanding, my attraction to the total power exchange term and world, and many others will view and understand it differently no doubt. I have Mistress and Domme friends who love to micro-manage their slaves, others who just want a service Bottom or part time sub for sessions and outside of those, the D/s roles simply are not there and they revert to being friends/acquaintances. I’m not here to tell you right and wrong in D/s in general, just what is right or wrong for slaves and submissives who approach me and want to serve me. As the Dominant in a BDSM, Femdom relationship it is expected that I set the rules about how the relationship will progress and will clearly communicate the standards I expect the slave/submissive to meet.
In my life now being useful is the main thing I want from a slave. Earning my own income, having my own romantic long term relationship and juggling business and a family doesn’t leave a lot of time for tending to the fantasies and sex needs of men connecting with me hoping for the D/s ‘shiny porn’ equivalent of a toss-off or quickie. I’m not ‘in it’ for any payment-per-hour, it’s not a job for me, I don’t meet slaves for shiny-clad corporal punishment sessions on the basis that you have an hour spare this Thursday afternoon and have ‘always wanted some hot bitch to spit on my face babes init‘.
To be blunt, I don’t care what your fantasy is when I’m connecting with you as a Mistress or Domme; I care about what you can do for me and how you can improve my life and mood. I don’t need you in my life, there really is little you can add to it aside from offering to complete tasks which take my time and energy and therefore making things easier and happier for me.
Some jobs I require from my slave seem very dull and boring and about as far from online, latex clad, tribute demanding, session Dommes as you can imagine.
Clean my oven. Sort my recycling. Fetch shopping. Take in my dry-cleaning. Be an on-call taxi service. Hang up my clothes. Above all, be available and ready to help in any way I want. That’s what I want from a slave – to be a slave, and to willingly and happily give up pride and ego and any control over themselves in order to make me happier and to make my life easier. Relinquishing any idea of control of their own life and that they are anything but my slave – an actual slave, not just a guy in the ‘right’ outfit with a collar on for an hour – is what total power exchange means in my life and what I’m really seeking from the FemDom relationships I commit to.
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