Guide To Buying Your First Sex Toy (Whatever Your Sexuality Or Gender)
By Cara Sutra
Buying your first sex toy, whether alone or as part of a couple, is a very exciting experience. You’re about to embark on a new adventure in your sexual life and the chance to try something new is deliciously alluring. The chance to ignite your orgasms by a new masturbation method or discover higher levels of satisfaction with a lover comes rarely in our adult lives. Embrace this thrilling opportunity and get ready for more fulfilling sexual pleasure.
There are so many different sex toys out there, how can you possibly choose which one will be right for you? Exactly what sort of sex toys are available?
What you may not realise about sex toys is that there are now many more different styles than simply classic insertable or rabbit vibrators. Researching the many different types available will lead you to making a wiser choice when it comes to making that all-important first purchase.
Who can find pleasure from sex toys? The short answer is everyone. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans – there are sex toys out there which can help you towards a better sex life (alone or together) and a more intense orgasm.
So with that in mind…
What type of sex toys are available?
Sex toys can be grouped into the following broad categories:
Vibrators – Including classic styles, rabbit vibrators, bullet vibrators, clitoral stimulators, body massagers.
Dildos – Non vibrating insertables (phallic as well as abstract shapes, colours & textures). May have a flat base, suction cup base, or be compatible with a strap on harness.
Cock rings – vibrating or non-vibrating rings which are worn around his penis or penis and testicles. May be stretchy (rubber, jelly, silicone) or rigid (steel and other metals). Often known as love rings if meant to be worn during couples sex.
Sex toys for men – Male masturbators from luxurious styles such as Fleshlight and the Tenga Flip Hole to disposable one use strokers and masturbators such as Tenga Onacups and Tenga Eggs.
Anal sex toys – Non-vibrating butt plugs, anal beads, vibrating butt plugs, anal probes and prostate massagers for men.
Bondage sex toys – Wrist and ankle cuffs, restraints, spanking paddles, riding crops, nipple clamps, slave collars, ball gags and a whole lot more.
What To Consider When Buying Your First Sex Toy
- The size of the toy
- What shape it is and if it has a textured or smooth surface
- Which material it’s made from
- Power type (battery, mains powered of rechargeable)
- How noisy it is
- If it’s waterproof
- If it comes with a warranty or guarantee
- If it’s made by a reputable, long standing company
- The price
Sex toys to suit your needs
Once you’ve given due attention to the above points, as well as familiarised yourself with the different types of sex toys available, it’s time to think about which one(s) may be best suited for your particular circumstances. Of course, this is a very personal decision but here are a few suggestions for a first sex toy for various relationship, gender and orientations.
Straight single men
For the straight man living the single life, there are plenty of sex toys to help spice up masturbation and give your hand a rest! Choose from single use masturbation strokers and sleeves for your first sex toy, such as the ZOLO Pocket Pool Balls & masturbators or a Tenga Egg – or upgrade to a luxurious masturbator such as the Tenga Flip Hole, the Fun Factory Cobra Libre or any of the Fleshlight male masturbators collection.
Don’t neglect your rear, either – there are plenty of anal toys to choose from such as butt plugs and prostate massagers.
Straight single women
Masturbation should never be a chore, so spice it up with the amazing variety of sex toys available for women. A popular choice for a first sex toy would be one of the rabbit vibrators available, which offer dual stimulation (vaginal/internal and clitoral), classic vibrators, bullet vibes to tease your clit and other erogenous zones as well as butt plugs and nipple clamps.
Couples sex toys have emerged as a very popular category of toy with vibrators used during couples’ sex being some of the best selling sex toys around. Top couples sex toys include the LELO Tiani 3 and of course, the brand new We Vibe Four Plus complete with smart phone app.
Many couples enjoy using the discreet but powerful pleasure of a bullet vibrator during foreplay or sex, as well as a vibrating cock ring (aka love ring) to deliver pleasurable sensations to her clitoris as well as a snug fit to his penis and testicles for enhanced enjoyment. Hello Touch by Jimmyjane is another brilliant way to make the most of foreplay with the added excitement of shared vibrations.
Bisexuals – single and in relationships
Bisexual people of either gender can enjoy sex toys in the same way as anyone else – we will look at anatomy vs psychology in greater detail in a little while. When shopping for your first sex toy, remember that bisexual women can enjoy the pleasures that sex toys for women bring, while bisexual men can enjoy male sex toys – with the added bonus of selecting from the Fleshjack range as well as Fleshlight, as an example. Let’s take a closer look at the very subtle differences that sexuality may make to your sex toy choices.
Gay single men
As I’ve just mentioned, the Fleshjack range is the gay counterpart to Fleshlight. Fleshjack masturbators are modelled on male body parts such as a man’s bottom (complete with butt cheeks!) or simply the anal entrance on its own. There are Fleshjack masturbators modelled on your favourite gay porn stars, as well as realistic gay porn star anal dildos modelled from the actors themselves.
Gay men in a relationship
For men in a gay relationship, there are many types of anal sex toy which can be an exciting new aspect of sex together, as well as enjoying watching one another enjoying a Fleshjack masturbator or other stroker.
Think about using a cock ring as your very first sex toy. They can enhance sex as the snug fit causes the erection to feel stronger and larger as well as last even longer than usual. There are also a number of penis extenders which can help with confidence issues and bedroom anxiety.
Lesbian single women
Women’s sex toys are made for anatomy not sexuality so the majority of sex toys suitable for straight women are also suited to lesbian women. An obvious exception is anything that resembles a penis, so perhaps avoid the realistic dildos and phallic vibrators. There are a number of abstract vibrators and dildos available in many different colours with various textures to enjoy.
Vibrators range from internal pleasure to external with clitoral stimulators and bullet vibrators. There are also love eggs, both static and remotely controlled, as well as jiggle balls. Anal sex toys such as butt plugs and anal beads offer an alternative way to play, along with breast pumps and nipple clamps.
Lesbian women in a relationship
As with straight and lesbian single women, so too with lesbian women in a relationship – the majority of sex toys aimed at women will be able to be enjoyed, even as a first sex toy.
Sex toys which specifically add an exciting new dimension to lesbian sex are strap on sex harnesses and dildos, as well as double ended dildos. Of course small discreet vibrators such as bullet vibes can be enjoyed during foreplay and sex as well as larger styles such as body massagers. Anal sex toys can be worn by one or both partners – with some flared but flat based butt plugs being able to be worn whenever you like – even outside the house for a saucy secret you can both enjoy sharing.
One of the most important things to remember is that sex toys are made for anatomy, not sexual or gender orientations which are part of your psyche not necessarily part of your physiology.
Gender queer or fluid, curious or cross dressing people can all find pleasure using sex toys, it’s just a case of discovering more about your body and what you’re happy with being stimulated, in which way. For instance a trans woman will have the sensitive nerve endings of a penis which can be directly stimulated in a similar way to a clitoris, meaning that bullet vibrators and body massagers can bring sexual thrills and delight. A trans man who wants to penetrate his partner with a penis can benefit from the many different styles of strap on harnesses with realistic penis dildos, a lot of which also come with realistic testicles.
The nipples are a particularly sensitive area regardless of gender, although the sensitivity levels differ from person to person. Experiment with nipple teasers, feathers and clamps to realise a whole new world of physical arousal.
Anal sex toys are unisex and as long as you use a toy with a flared base, specifically made for anal use, they are safe to use and incredibly stimulating. Choose from static butt plugs to vibrating anal dildos and beads – or choose an anal sex toy with a prostate massager or angled head if you own a prostate gland, for additional pleasure.
Many people who enjoy experimenting with their gender fluidity, or simply want to dress in a contrasting gender role, love to use packing dildos. These dildos are soft and made to resemble a flaccid penis. They are worn beneath clothing to give the shape and feel under the clothes of realistic male genitals.
As you can see, the pleasure that can be gained from sex toys isn’t limited to single people of either gender, or to those of any particular sexual or gender orientation. An area that we have merely touched upon in this article are bondage and BDSM sex toys for example, which deserve and will soon receive a more in-depth exploration in a future article.
If you have any questions about what the best first sex toy purchase for you, or are looking for suggestions specific to your unique situation, please don’t hesitate to either comment below or send me an email. I’ll be happy to help.
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