Sexy Name Calling: Goddess, Bitch Or Slut? What’s In A Name?

Sexy Name Calling: Goddess, Bitch Or Slut? What’s In A Name?

By Cara Sutra

What are your thoughts on sexy name calling?

You dumb bitch.

Yeah, suck it you little slut.

Can’t wait to hook up and have a proper bitch.

Bitch, please…

You’re a ruthless bitch, Mistress.

Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name

What Do You Mean By Sexy Name Calling?

A shared post on Facebook this morning turned my attention to the subject of sexy name calling. Not in a trolling or abusive way, although this post which was shared to my TL by the brilliant sexual educator that is Charlie Glickman does focus on in appropriate behaviour in what should have been a protective and safe environment for all who attended. As much as the actions of the sexist, inappropriate guy talked about in the post disgusted me, it was one word in particular which made me stop and think.

Goddess.

To me, that word is – well, not respectful, I concur there. It’s a label used by submissive and slave men towards me as a Domme in the FemDom scene. Often it’s the most complimentary label they can think of and that’s why it falls from their fingertips on emails and Twitter, or from their mouths if I ever do agree to meet up.

Goddess: Compliment or Insult?

A couple of days ago I received an anonymous subby fan letter through the post. You’ll see the use of this title, this label, Goddess, used to try and communicate the sub’s feeling of inferiority as opposed to my supposed superiority over him (and all other ‘worthless males’ in the spirit of FemDom and this type of D/s).

Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name

As such, it’s a compliment to me. Not everyone has the word skills to adequately yet thoroughly articulate every exact nuance of their feelings. This simple label, Goddess, sums up enough praise, conveys enough thoughts of comparative inferiority/superiority, that it’s generally accepted as one title or appellation that may be approved of by a female Top.

In the new age/spiritualist/conscious community it seems that ‘Goddess’ is not received quite as happily. Fair enough, it will have different connotations and it would seem from that shared post this morning that there are implications of obligations and looser boundaries after its use. Using it in this way has overtones of manipulation, passive aggression and preying on the women it’s used towards (as it’s a feminine attributed label) with their own eventual sexual gratification in mind. Not ok; not ok at all.

Our Sexy Name Calling Preferences Reveal Plenty

Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name

We will all have our favourite names to be called during a sexy name calling sesh, and probably a few that we can’t stand being directed towards us. Personally, when it comes to names and labels and titles that don’t sit right with me, I don’t mind hearing them used towards someone else. An ex liked being called ‘Babe‘, whereas in my mind it should always be followed by ‘… Pig in the City.’

My good industry friend, Hella Rude, likes being addressed as Miss Hella by her submissives, whereas ‘Miss‘ directed towards me it makes me feel about 10 years old. Strangely enough, being called ‘Miss‘ by my partner in the context of Daddy/little girl sexual roleplay doesn’t have the same effect. Daddy/little, to me, is less about making me feel a certain age and more about making me feel a certain way. Vulnerable but protected, loved unconditionally, his. It’s simply ‘Daddy’s little’ , ‘princess’ (yum; for some reason there’s only D/s Daddy/daughter associations with this, not Royal Family for me) or ‘girly’ in that roleplay – but other DLGs will have their own preferences about how they’re addressed.

Friends in FemDom often choose to be called ‘Ma’am’ which I can’t stand directed at me. They can do as they choose. For me, ‘Ma’am’ conjures up images of the Queen and other little old ladies. ‘Queen’ doesn’t work either, for the same reason.

If a slave or submissive ever called me ‘Mummy’ or ‘Mommy’ I can tell you now that I wouldn’t be speaking to them ever again. YKINMK and I have absolutely nothing against ageplay (obviously, being a Daddy’s little girl), but I have two kids of my own and the thought of being a ‘Mommy’ to a grown man makes my stomach lurch violently.

Why I Like Being Called Mistress

My title of preference as part of the FemDom scene is ‘Mistress’ or ‘Mistress Cara’. There are three reasons for this.

  1. I am more at home with slaves which serve in a lifestyle way, full time, rather than session submissives and therefore I am a Mistress as opposed to simply the title of Domme.
  2. When I first chose my online alias, back at the start of blogging, it was 100% to do with FemDom and my place in the scene. I chose ‘Mistress Cara’ after a character in a book series who I really identified with – the Mord’Sith Cara or Cara Rahl from Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth Series (later made into a TV series Legend of the Seeker). She is known as Mistress Cara to her captives. Later, I added the ‘Sutra’ suffix to form a good fit for my sex blogging.
  3. ‘Mistress’ just feels right for my character and person in the FemDom scene. As comfortable as pulling on those soft leather gloves. 😉

Slut, Whore, Kitten

Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name

When it comes to name calling in the bedroom, during sex with my partner, I’ve already written about my love of ‘slut’. It’s not an insult to me. I’m not saying that everyone should use it themselves or that everyone should feel happy about using it or having that name applied to them, but I am saying that I should be allowed to enjoy its use towards me in the right, consensual, sexual situations. Of course shouting the word slut at me in the street probably won’t cause me to fall to my knees in orgasmic spasms. Sorry. Likewise I know ‘cunt’ works for some women but having lived in Ireland for a few years where it’s more a friendly term used during banter it would just make me laugh. I don’t see it as the taboo insult that many do, it’s just funny.

Other names which work for me personally in sexy name calling are ‘whore’ (although ‘prostitute’ is too clinical and long, and ‘sex worker’ would just make me laugh at the PCness of it in the bedroom), and ‘bitch’. In fact ‘bitch’ turns me on from both a sexually submissive point of view with my partner as well as from my slaves as a Mistress. I love its versatility, which I hope I conveyed effectively at the start of this article.

Affectionate Names

How about names outside of the bedroom? I’m really not into being called ‘snuggle bunny’, ‘fluffy bottom’, ‘darling’, ‘wifey’, ‘snookums’ or any of those type of pet names. In fact there’s only one pet name which feels right from my partner at the moment: ‘kitten’.

It’s not just a pet name like ‘babe’ or ‘darling’ which partners call each other in place of the real name without any sexual connotation. For me, ‘kitten’ is very much tied in with sexuality. It’s like a shared secret when he calls me ‘kitten’. I know he’s thinking about hooking a leash to my bed-only collar, stroking me in the right ways, making me purr, making me wet, making me mewl and scratch while his hand is round my neck – and making the unlikely blend of teddy-bear-clutching Daddy’s little and kitten roleplay somehow perfectly harmonious during our sex. Part little, part furry, all pervert. He calls me ‘kitten’ and we share a look.

He doesn’t have to do anything else other than call me that name and give me his smile, a flash of those dark eyes and my clit has pinged to attention and demands more of the sort immediately.

How About You?

So now we come to you. What names work for you – whether in the bedroom during sexy name calling or pet names from a partner? Which labels or titles are a real turn off, in sex or as part of your kinky bondage sessions? I’ll be interested in hearing your opinions in the comments below, bitches. 😉

 

Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name

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Sexy Name Calling Goddess Bitch Or Slut What's In A Name
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1 COMMENT

  1. I love to be called Baby or baby girl! Makes me feel all warm and gooey! The best thing is to called a Good girl… Melting!
    As an Irish gal I laughed at your comment about how we use the word cunt here! It’s true! It can be used in an aggressive way but it’s also the weirdest way to show affectionate teasing… You gotta love us Irish!
    Kat x

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