This week’s sex blogger in the spotlight is Innocent Loverboy who writes unashamedly and honestly about his sex life, sexual thoughts, fantasies and everything to do with the sex blogging part of his life. If you’re after a candid look into a sex blogger’s life, then head over to Innocent Loverboy’s blog and enjoy getting under the covers with him.
I’ve had the privilege of meeting Innocent Loverboy on a few occasions now as he attends sex blogger and sex industry events, and he’s a charming, down to earth fellow whose quiet demeanour belies the voracious sex blogger within!
– Cara Sutra
A lot of bloggers, I’ve noticed throughout my travels, are on some sort of journey of discovery, finding a realisation of their sexual side that is slowly emerging. I think, in some ways, that we’re all travelling along the same sort of path. For the past seven years, however, I’ve been fairly secure insofar as who I am – I know what I like and what I don’t, and why, so that’s not really the issue for me!
What I’m sharing on my blog is myself, awkward situations and scattered thoughts included – but, with a tiny speck of self-assurance within that I know who I am, and I’m going to stay that way. I haven’t got much else going for me, after all.
What’s your blog name/online handle and how did you come up with the idea?
I originally used the phrase “innocent loverboy” to describe the character Hiroki Sugimura from Battle Royale, which says a lot about the kind of person I am. In terms of why I resurrected the phrase for my blogger alias, it just seemed to fit – I’m a boy, I love, and I think the innocent part refers to my views on love and sex, which always seemed (and continue to seem) a little incongruous compared to those of a lot of the boys I used to hang around with.
Examples include: only wanting to have sex with someone I’m in a relationship with; only ever having watched softcore porn; thinking BD/SM was never done; having to be in love to have sex; many others – all of which have changed since I started blogging (ahem). However, other things I was into, which I never heard anyone else mentioning, included caring about contraception, sex education, feelings and emotions; concentration on the female orgasm; questions, answers, and talking; the spiritual side; the humorous side; the realisation that everyone is different; many more others – all of which, I think, still persist as very important!
Which country do you live in?
United Kingdom – London, to be exact. I’ve no idea why anyone would think otherwise once they’ve read my words!
Approximately how long have you been sex blogging?
I’m actually one of the longest-serving sex bloggers, despite what some people seem to think! I started at the end of 2007, so I’m approaching my seventh year of writing ILB. In that time I’ve seen recognisable waves of new bloggers joining, old bloggers retiring, and some persistent bloggers battling on – along with several large shifts in terms of how the country views sex, BD/SM, sex ed, porn and a lot of other sexual topics. It’s been a rollercoaster. (Except not a real one. That’d be weird.)
What most people don’t know is that I also write another blog for my “real” personality, and that’s been going since 2001, so in total I’ve been blogging for over 13 years. Good Lord!
Why did you start a sex blog or reviewing sex toys?
I went through university for three years immediately after being dumped by my first girlfriend, following a sixth form at a North London comprehensive at which sex was only really a subject to be sniggered at. The guys at university were the one-night-stand-seeking, beer-swilling, hardcore porn types, and I just didn’t fit in. I loved sex, but since I wasn’t about to share my own feelings with anyone, I relied mostly upon my own imagination and a fair amount of soft porn – it was a distraction from a life I wasn’t really enjoying.
I came back in 2006 with the very clear realisation that my views on sex were different from those of the typical “bloke” of my age, although I did also realise that everyone was different, I wasn’t going to just go along with the crowd. I also hadn’t had so much as a single kiss for years, and was getting a little frustrated that I didn’t have any love coming my way, never mind sex!
So I started writing ILB as a way to air my views (and make new connections). I had no idea how far it would go, and what would be the end result, but I’m quite pleased with the end result!
What’s your favourite thing about blogging?
Bloggers – I love reading and I love writing, and I really love description (especially when it comes to sex, which is a fun to describe), but a blog is nothing without the person behind it!
Do you use social media? If so, where can we find you?
You can find me on Twitter, Ello and Spring.me, all with the username innocentlb – I also appear to have a profile on Quora, although I’m not sure what that is. I’m also a de facto Google+ user by virtue of the fact that I use Blogger, but I don’t think that really counts, seeing as I didn’t set it up.
Do your friends know you’re a sex blogger?
A few of them do because I’ve told them. My best friend, 47, managed to find out somehow. I’m pretty sure the rest of them do, anyway, or at least have an idea, but – in the scheme of things – does that matter?
Have you ever done anything specifically so you can blog about it afterwards?
Yes, all the time! In fact, I’ve even officially arranged to do certain things (attend certain events, go to certain places, see certain people…) specifically because I think it’ll make a good blog post!
To be fair, though, most of my best posts come out of nowhere via everyday situations, so I’m always listening out for something… just in case!
Do you take part in any blog memes? If so, which ones?
Some of them. I do get annoyed, sometimes, with bloggers who don’t do anything apart from memes, so I’ll do one if I think it fits or as an wasy way to get out of writer’s block – Spring.me’s question of the day used to do that – but not just because I feel I ought to. Through the years I think I’ve taken part in HNT, Sinful Sunday, Follow Friday on Twitter and TMI Tuesday, plus doing NaBloPoMo four times, for some damn fool reason.
I also have my own Sunday meme – Soft Porn Sunday – where I pick a scene from soft porn and write far too many words about it. I actually had the idea to do that about a year before I started doing so, which shows how efficient I am at tackling the things I come up with.
Share with us a funny or interesting experience that’s happened to you in the course of your blogging.
There have been so many; where do I start?
One of my favourite kind of posts to write is the retrospective of the annual camping trips I take with my friends. The night before I went camping in 2012, I wrote a post about how, although I’ve seen sex in a tent happening, it was very unlikely any of us would experience it. Of course, sod’s law dictated that the very next day, that exact thing would happen to one of us, both proving me wrong and making me grin widely: the first thing I did the following morning? Grab a pen and paper… and write another blog post.
Will you still be blogging in 5 years’ time?
I certainly think I will be, although by that point I’ll be 34 years old, and that’s a genuinely terrifying thought. I’m going to go and hide under my duvet for a while.
If not already a professional blog: would you say you’re looking to earn a living from blogging eventually, or will it remain a hobby?
That’s impossible to say. I’ve stayed clear of actually actively looking for jobs which involve online content writing (even though it’s what my parents think I should do) because I don’t want what I do on a daily basis to take the novelty away from blogging – it’s my escape, my lifeline; I don’t want it to become my money-spinner as well (notice how I don’t have any commercial links on my blog, either).
This doesn’t mean that I won’t write anything for anyone who isn’t me – far from it – it’s just that I don’t think it’s a realistic option that I will! I never get asked, and I’m not going to hustle to do so… and, if I do, it’ll most likely be sharing my views on something sexual, which fits better on my blog than anywhere else.
I don’t see my blog as hobby, though. It’s not my job, but it’s not a hobby. It’s an important part of who I am. Without my blog, I’d be a very different person.
Tell us about three other bloggers you admire, and why.
(i) Blacksilk, because she started around the same time as me, and (although there have been periods of activity) keeps coming up with new and inventive ways to be both sexy and geeky…
(ii) Emma Whispers, because (although, again, there have been long periods of activity), through her blogging days, she found ways to keep her blog going almost every day, and that takes a lot of effort…
(iii) …and Girl on the Net, who is not only a great writer, but a very entertaining conversationalist as well. And also filthy, which helps.
If you review sex toys, what are the top three toys you wish you could get your hands on next? / Who is your favourite adult shopping company, and why?
I do review sex toys, but I have the annoying tendency to be unaffected or distracted by them, so I don’t genuinely give overly favourable reviews for them – although reviews are meant to be honest; that’s the point!
However, I have a certain affection for Sh!, the store in Hoxton is always friendly and welcoming and I love their online presence. I know I’m probably not the target demographic, being a boy, but I appreciate their humour, knowledge and unique take on the industry – and they make excellent drinks, too…
Do you prefer blogging fictional erotica, real life sex anecdotes or factual based content such as reviews and advice guides?
I’ve written all three, but by far, the second one is my favourite type of thing to write. I think there’s a lot of humour and amazement in real life, and although I started by sharing my “views” on sex, I transitioned into writing up the experiences I’ve had, from sex with exciting new people to odd snatches I’ve encountered in the street to conversations with my friends. There’s a lot of “me” in my blog – I write what I want to, rather than what I think people want to read – and, although I hope that would come off in a positive way, it does rely a lot on things that happen in my strange life. But whatever it is, I’ll find a way to spin it into hundreds of words.
TL;DR? I’m not as interesting as I think I am.