Sex Blogger Spotlight Series: Sex and Java


This week’s sex blogger in the spotlight is Sex and Java which is one sexy couple’s guide to -and personal account of- plenty of exciting sex toys. Recently added are the reviews from yet another person’s perspective, someone the Sex and Java couple refer to as their Articulate Muse.

In their own words:

“From the beginning, was specificially from myself and Ms.A, two middle-aged people who live together and enjoy all things sex and java.  We decided to create this website to bring our experiences of sexual exploration and adult toy use to the masses.  Recently added is someone we affectionately call our muse, Articulate Muse, who does reviews from a individual perspective.  Hopefully throughout this endeavor, we’ll build a following and maybe help others who need advice through our trial and error.  We’ll share experiences with toys we use with an amazing contrast from several perspectives.”

With three people’s perspectives on sex toys and a wealth of informative and fun reviews, Sex and Java is a sex blog you will definitely want to bookmark and add to your RSS readers. Find  out more about the brilliant people behind the blog in the revealing Q&A below.

Would you like a free feature post of your own? They’re posted on Thursdays. If you’re a sex blogger or sex toy reviewer, check out my call for submissions here and email me here.

I also run a similar offer for erotic authors, with a post published every Monday. Check out the Erotic Author Spotlight Series here and the relevant call for subs here.

– Cara Sutra


ssexandjava is focused on bringing information to the public about our experiences with toys, mostly from a couples perspective, though we just recently added a new female writer who does reviews from an entirely individualized focus.  Our first sex toy purchase before the site was of a latex-infused dildo (Ms.A has a serious latex allergy) and some lube that caused skin irritation which caused me to go on a research endeavor to find out why.  We found out that there are no regulations for what goes into a sex toy and not many for what goes into lubrication.
We’ve been working hard to find companies that focus on creating safe sex toys and lubrication.  It was mostly Ms.A’s idea for the site, after I kept referring her to other review sites for information, she said, “Hey, I want to do that.”  and was born.  She doesn’t like to write, just share her opinions.  I like to write, so it really just happened to work out that way.

The most recent addition to our site is Articulate Muse, otherwise known as M, joined to help bring a different perspective to things.  We all know that bodies are all different, as you’ll see from reading our site.  Ms.A loves larger toys, M prefers smaller toys and finally myself who enjoys toys marketed for men, so you get an assortment of contrasting views from us to help a broader audience.  Put that together with the “couples” perspective of Ms.A and myself and we think we can help a lot of people find high quality, safe sex toys and other implements in the bedroom.

Our ultimate hope is to find a way to stop companies who use unsafe materials.

The Q&A

What’s your blog name/online handle and how did you come up with the idea?

Sex and Java.  We currently have three contributors to our blog, two of us are in a committed relationship living together, Ms.A and myself, Mr.X. Articulate Muse or M writes individually. was simply a combination of what the site is primarily about, sex and what was sitting on my desk next to me coming up with a site name, a cup of java, which I drink quite a bit of and have been called a “coffee snob” by some, so it worked.

Which country do you live in?

United States

Approximately how long have you been sex blogging?

Almost 8 months

Why did you start a sex blog or reviewing sex toys?

I like creative writing and Ms.A likes sex toys.  I have a disability that keeps me from a normal 9-5 job and this allows me to do something I enjoy and share it with Ms.A.  Ms.A would enjoy more mainstream exhibitionism, but due to certain circumstances needs her identity concealed, therefor this is an outlet for that, being explicit and maintaining her needed privacy.  M primarily wants to enhance her personal experience and is willing to share it with us, but doesn’t want the overhead of a site.

What’s your favourite thing about blogging?

For me, it’s about being able to share with Ms.A.  I love to watch, a voyeur of sorts.  Any time she shares her sexual enjoyment with me is a good experience.  Ms.A likes sharing her experiences with me and our readers.  She’s what I like to call a private exhibitionist, if things were a bit different, she would show off more.  We may, in the future, add more explicit content of her, simply because she gets off on the idea of people watching her.  M enjoys the concealed nature of being able to share this with others.  She is very “traditional” outside of the site, her every day life pursuits are in stark contrast to something so sexually open.

Do you use social media? If so, where can we find you?

Google Plus

Do your friends know you’re a sex blogger?

No, other than the three of us who contribute to the site.

Have you ever done anything specifically so you can blog about it afterwards?

Other than toy testing for reviews, not yet.  It may become more as our site grows, but for now, no.

Do you take part in any blog memes? If so, which ones?

No, but Ms.A wants to do some of them.  When we get to that place, we will let you know!

Share with us a funny or interesting experience that’s happened to you in the course of your blogging.

Nothing funny, yet…  Most of it is interesting though, mostly finding out that Ms.A enjoys sharing so much and her realization that she’s what some consider a “size queen” preferring larger sized toys and her wish list is considerably full of large sex toys.

Will you still be blogging in 5 years time?

I’d like to think so, but on some level it’s hard to say.  It costs money, a lot of personal time and resources to keep a blog maintained an interesting.  Although we’re fairly new to it, we all enjoy it immensely and hope it thrives.

If not already a professional blog: would you say you’re looking to earn a living from blogging eventually, or will it remain a hobby?

It would be nice to earn a living doing this, but it’s unrealistic to think it will make enough money to rely on the income generated by the website alone.  Mostly we do it as a way to give me something to do and share with others which enhances our personal lives.  Although we look at it as more of a hobby, if it starts making money for us, none of us would complain.

Tell us about three other bloggers you admire, and why.

Epiphora from is easily the first one I mention.  She has been extremely helpful in a lot of what our site is now.  Just her guides for starting a review blog alone are a great help, but she’s helped in many other ways as well.  I enjoy her writing style, her wit and humor stands out and she never pulls any punches.

Dangerous Lilly from is another person who’s helpful to the community.  She has worked very hard to bring safe sex toy knowledge to the masses and readily provides helpful information to anyone who asks.  She runs or helps run several resource sites outside of her main site, including ToySwap network and Blogger Co-op.  She’s very community driven.

The third choice would have to be a conglomeration of a lot of different people/blogs.  Really there are a lot of people that belong on this list for little inspirations here or there.  The first two have been a huge source of inspiration in our site and rightfully mentioned.  Overall it’s a way to dodge that I don’t want to leave anyone off a list.  If we’re following you on Twitter, it’s probably because we like something you do.  Rightfully so, your site is one of them (Cara: Thank you!).

If you review sex toys, what are the top three toys you wish you could get your hands on next?

(since there are three of us, there are three top three’s…holy 3’s Batman…)

First, Ms.A’s top three…

Smooth Glider XXL from XHale
The Spartacus MMXII Glass ‘Torch’ from Crystal Delights
Amsterdam from Tantus

M’s top three…

Fun Factory Stronic One Pulsator
Lelo Lily

My top three (Mr.X)

Rhino Stampede
Beginner C-sling from Tantus
Fun Factory Cobra Libre

Who is your favourite adult shopping company, and why?

We obviously affiliate ourselves with several companies.  Choosing one would be difficult at best.  Overall we like different companies for different reasons.  Burlesque Toyshop has a very boutique feel to it, they sell primarily safe sex toys, but also lubrication, books, lingerie, etc.  Good Vibrations has what they call an “Ecorotic” line for safe and eco-friendly toys (rechargeable if it has a motor, which is better for the environment).  SheVibe has a comic book art style that we really like.  TantusInc. is a super cool place for silicone toys.  We enjoy quite a few more, but I honestly couldn’t pick a favorite.

Do you prefer blogging fictional erotica, real life sex anecdotes or factual based content such as reviews and advice guides?

Most of what we do is factual based content for reviews/advice.  We want to add more real life sex stories outside of reviews, potentially other more explicit content depending on what we’re comfortable with.

Please share your thoughts!

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