Alternative uses for a blow up sex doll?

The Sex Dolls Challenge

sexdollspic

After realising that blow up sex dolls make the perfect rope bondage practice subject, I was quickly challenged to find as many alternative uses for a blow up doll as possible.

Sex dolls are still on my mind after my recent article discussing whether we as society as a whole are guilty of slut shaming sex doll users.

I mentioned my new challenge on Facebook, and it seemed to open the floodgates of people willing to share their suggestions for what a blow up sex doll could also be used for other than, well… you know. The usual.

Facebook offerings

sexdolls1

Chili Davros Brodie
Foot stool.

Dianna Moynelo
Replacement for pillows in a pillow fight.
To scare away those nosey neighbors (dress it up scary and put it in your window).
Body pillow
Voodoo doll
Punching bag
Not so imaginary friend for kids
Makeup practice dummy
Wig stand for styling
Company for elderly people who love to tell stories and cant see well.

sexdolls-2Melissa MacFarlane
Pool lilo
Fill with water and use the mouth to hold your drink and keep it cool x
Scarecrow
Car thief deterrent

Rebecca Marsh
Hat stand

Ali Diction
Portable mannequin
Kite

Sarah Berry
Stunt double

Emily Dubberley
Lilo/swimming aid
‘Security aid’ if travelling alone in a car in a dodgy neighborhood,
Pillow
Festival tent decor/stage prop
Decoy if you want to sneak out the house and pretend you are still asleep in bed (though if you’re having to sneak out the house and pretend you are still asleep you are either too young for a blow up doll or in a relationship that is far too controlling)

Heather Herbert
Speed dating rest-station.
Filled with water and frozen, a handy picnic ice-chest cooler or full-body sunburn treatment.
Filled with hot water, a bed warmer.
Filled with wine? An “Adult Froot Shoot.”
Filled with helium? Float past windows for a ghostly effect.
Scarecrow.
Foam party personal floatation device.
Anatomically correct space hopper.
Strap it to your bum when roller skating for personalized landing protection.

Suie Tester
Clothes hanger

 

There were a couple of useful pointers too. 

Dianna Moynelo
Dont try and use it to excuse being in the carpool lane if you are the only one in the car. The cops will get you. (A friend of mine tried)

Xander Mason
If it can’t make coffee it’s useless…

What I think

sex doll realisticMy thoughts on the subject? Here we go.

My top 10 alternative uses for a blow up sex doll

1 It’s coming up to scary season so why not get some thread and tacks (for the ceiling, I repeat, for the CEILING; on second thoughts use Blu-Tack) and dangle your dishy dolly as a Halloween decoration. If you’ve noone to go trick or treating with it could also form the perfect ghoulie night (get it? Girly night? Forget it) companion.

2 Attach it to the inside of the window of your front door by the lips as an effective doorstep preacher deterrent. Send your own message to Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons and the like! Note: Remember to take it down before your mother-in-law pops round.

3 Sickie stand in at the office. If you are technical in the slightest I am sure you could fashion some kind of remotely controlled inflation/deflation device.

4 Travel by public transport and sick of people taking the seat right next to you when there’s plenty of others? Never again want to be within intimate distance of the great unwashed? No problem. Take your inflatable friend with you and you have a constant public transport companion who reeks with the delicate, arousing and attractive scent of, erm, vinyl.

5 Sick of never having enough pillows? Whether you sleep alone or with a partner, you can quickly inflate your head comfort space – literally- with the help of an inflatable sex doll. Don’t plump it up – pump it up and lay your doll underneath your existing pillows. The perfect pillow emergency solution.

6 For those who were fans of the 90s TV show Gladiators, you can now do battle without having to find then purchase one of those supersized jousting sticks. Grab a couple of inflatable dolls and a friend – and let the battle commence. Gladiator, ready!

7 Alternative birthing partner. Ok ok, just hear me out. Just imagine how satisfying it would be to be able to squeeze someone until they literally pop while you’re in labour! Yep, that’s my whole argument for that one.

8 Somewhere to hide the vodka. Unrelated to the last alternative use, I have to say. Also: make sure you get a strong doll for this, or be ready to change the carpets.

9 As I am yet to hear actual reports of this, and the only way I see sex dolls being used is as a stag party centrepiece, you could always try having sex with it. Just a thought.

10 My ultimate alternative use for a sex doll is for rope bondage practice. If you live alone or you’re around people who don’t particularly want to be tied up, yet you really want to practice your rope bondage skills, a sex doll provides you with a body shape which you can tangle with all day long. Perfect!

 

I’ve talked myself into it.

I’m going to have to buy a sex doll.

– Cara Sutra

 

Buy Links

sex dolls fatty patty sex dolls romping rosie

In case you really do want to buy a sex doll, you can click through to these trusted sex toy shops and find dolls at great prices with a range of special offers:

Sex Dolls at Lovehoney

Love Dolls & Inflatable Dolls at Simply Pleasure

Blow Up Dolls & Sexy Dolls at Bondara

 

1 COMMENT

  1. “Supersized jousting sticks” =D
    I may have actually used a sex doll for this very purpose, at a party that once went a bit ‘Gladiators’.

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