Double Dirty Doll Date

So a couple of weeks ago I was invited to a double girly day out and there were cocktails promised. Sunshine was also promised but sadly not guaranteed, and wouldn’t you know it, the brief heatwave of a British summer waned and gave way to a gushing grey rain cloud that engulfed Lincolnshire as Saturday morning dawned. We would not be dissuaded though; sun or no sun, we were going to get out and party.

I met the girls in Lincoln town centre and our arranged meeting spot was still closed. Apparently Walkabout doesn’t open til about midday on Saturday and it was only 11am. Well, we’d wanted to fit as much into the day as possible! So why not start in the morning, right? Battling through the city throng and pouring rain using my dome umbrella as protection and weapon, I ducked into the familiar Wetherspoons to make the most of their bottomless coffee – and the free WiFi.

Kerrie and Beeeeee (uncertain on the amount of e’s but K insists it’s always as many as possible) arrived soon after I did, once I’d Tweeted, FourSquared and texted my new location. Social media whore, moi? Anyway I got another coffee and the girls got their drinks. Bee was starting bravely on lager and I somewhat regretted my innocent choice, although I did have to knock back a couple of tabs to get over the glasses of chilled joy I’d downed the night before. Kerrie was being a good girl on the softies as she was driving. Sad times. This was to change, not that we knew it yet.

After scarfing down a much needed plate of chips between us the chorus of tummy rumbles told us it was time to find a place to chow down lunch. I’d never been to Ribs and Bibs and Beeeeeeeeeee was positively bouncing about being able to share some of her home country cuisine. She’s an American gal, y’all. Yeah, I can’t do the accent. K was cool with this plan so we headed over to the bottom of Steep Hill where it’s located – only to find they didn’t have a table free for another hour. Dammit, what were we going to do with a spare hour and, oh wait. Is that a cocktail bar over the road?

Not just any cocktail bar but Beeeeeeeee’s most favourite cocktail bar IN THE WORLD. She’s a bouncy little thing. 🙂 It’s called the Strait and Narrow (amusingly). I was about ready for a Mojito and the sun was past the yard arm – or at least, was struggling through the rain to get there – so across the cobbled road we strode and all but launched ourselves at the bar girl en masse. Strawberry margaritas, mojitos, spicy mojitos and some special blend of cider (I can’t remember the name) was imbibed that day. As we all saw, and it was good.

kerrie and bee-7

We got so occupied with talking (and talking pictures for a later blog, guilty face) that we didn’t notice the time. The last quarter of my mojito was sucked up with surprising speed and ferocity before we just about made it back to Ribs and Bibs for our booked table.

Oh, during our chats we’d realised that if I went back to Beeeeeeeeee’s place (she owns a pub. I know, I have the BEST friends) that evening and got picked up by minnie later on, we could all indulge in a few more tipples, K included. So that’s what we’d do. Perfect.

With a head full of sparkling fizz we sat at the table offered us, and raced full pelt into raucous chatter and laughter much to the bemusement of the staff and other occupants. I’m unsure as to whether the looks were due to the chat volume or the subject matter. 2.30pm in a busy restaurant may not be the most appropriate time to discuss anal reaming and sploshing fetish. Oh dear.

After the waitress asked us if we were ready to order yet for the third time, we knew we had to make some kind of decision here. Spotting a main course entitled ‘Glory Hole’ that was my decision made. Oh how we laughed. I didn’t read what it was, I just wanted it because of the name alone.

kerrie and bee-31
I’d never had a burger where the buns were ring doughnuts before. You can see the meat through the ho…. Ah, I get it now.
It was tasty, so tasty.. but none of us could finish the huge portions of meat and carbs that were dished up. The food is beautiful there, you really should visit. Knocked back with a couple of lime margaritas it’s even better.

After fighting over paying the bill – Beeeeeeeeeeee kept buying everything and wouldn’t let us help, but I won this round HAHA! – we all but fell out on to the pavement and strode through the drizzle to take a look round Primark. ‘Primarni’ as Beeeeeeeeee has delightfully named it. I found the BEST sunglasses for Kerrie (see the photos) and we made a dressing up box out of the summer clothes area.

Back out into the street and it was time to get back to where K had parked the car. The worst of the rain was over, so she hadn’t totally missed the mark with the bright summer maxi dress and flip flops at all, in spite of how overly optimistic the outfit had seemed at 11am that morning in the downpour. Squelchy shoes ahoy. Back in the car and we headed out of town to get back to the pub. The journey back was a mini road trip, belting out the good old tunes like Bryan Adams and Bruce Springsteen. We rocked that vehicle, dudes.

Ducking into K’s bloke’s place (just around the corner) for her to get changed, Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cooked up some noms for said ‘bloke’ and opened a bottle of red she’d picked up from the newsagent’s on the way back. I must admit I did neck a couple of tall glasses of water at this point, because I’m experienced in hangovers and had already taken in more cocktails than I had in many, many years. I’m usually a dry white kinda girl. Drinks-wise, too. 😉

Eventually I did give in and had a snifter of red, as K got into more appropriately evening attire and I gazed out at the suddenly rainy again day. Seriously what was going on with the weather? Where did the heat wave go?

We left shortly afterwards and arrived at Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s pub, diving inside to the most cosy and warm and welcoming English pub you could hope to be sat inside on a Saturday night. Or any night, or day. It’s SO comfortable, really very homely. As it was so comfy I fell back into my familiar territory of a dry white, while we sat at the bar and enjoyed more fun chat. A couple with a pretty new baby was also in the pub, as early as it was (about 5-6pm) and I think we eventually wore them down to leave with our combined broodiness and threats of ovary explosion. My womb still hurts thinking about it.

Dinner time was approaching fast. Since hearing that my menu weakness is mussels (or actually, Moules Mariniere), Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee was insistent that I try the house version. Oh. My. God. She has mussels in the kitchen? I am gonna marry this girl. Sorry, ‘gal’.

What goes best with Moules Frites? Strawberry margaritas made with a couple of bottles of tequila, OBVIOUSLY. Ok, maybe not that obvious but we weren’t gonna say no. Kerrie had a LOT of catching up to do. We moved to an even more comfortable spot (bar stools, heels and eating food isn’t a  great mix) on a lower level, kicked our shoes off and sat back awaiting noms and naughty chat. There hadn’t been any tears yet (which I had been told, are an essential part of their every outing) so I soon found myself supplying them at a story recanted by K.

kerrie and bee-88

The tequilas were poured in the punch bowl, mixed with the iced crushed strawberries and whatever else goes into making a strawberry margarita. What else is in there? I didn’t know, didn’t care. It tasted damn fine. Then the moules frites arrived. Oh. My. God. Perfection! K and I dined in true style and finesse – barefoot and knocking back cocktails. That’s how the French do it, right? Perhaps I’ve been to a different part of France than you.

Chat, chat, chat. We moved to sofas away from the public at the end of the evening, mostly as we were discussing anal sex in great depth. Literally. When minnie was summoned to pick me up (at about 11pm) I also instructed him to bring water and silicone lube bottles to hand over. I’m still waiting on blog posts of the resulting experiences…

it was a fantastic day out and I can’t wait to do it all again – well perhaps with a lot more sunshine, a BBQ and some al fresco dining this time. I’ll bring some bubbly.

Oh and guys? Next time, we need a pic of all of us together, deal?







  1. You’re forgiven. I’m a dacryphile so I just got aroused.
    Oh, I forgot the part where we got so lost, we weren’t lost at all, we just didn’t realise we weren’t lost!!

  2. My Girlies, that was a top day slash night!! A proper bar crawl like we do back home. We took the theme of the day “Soaked” literally. My face hurt from laughing that hard, my husband loved having you all here!! The day/night was a interesting, intriguing mixture of kinky whatifs.. life chatter, outrageous shared stories and hawt in the know how sex tips. Add into that all of the pieces and parts of what makes us, all US and the laughter keeps going. I cant wait for our next get together. Although I am not sure the BBQ joint will ever recover from our antics.

    Love BEEEEEEEEEE aka Newt Kai

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