Have you ever wondered how to make things much more exciting in the bedroom department? It could be that you’re in a rut with your regular masturbation – or your sex life with your partner has become a bit same-same and stale. How do people go about making intimacy and the journey to orgasm more raunch than routine?
One easy way to set your sex life to ‘sizzle’ is by using sex toys. Sex toys can be used alone, during masturbation, or with your partner during foreplay and sex. If you don’t know much about sex toys, or what options are available, this handy bite sized guide is sure to help give you the pointers you’re after.
Once you’re finished you’ll be perfectly prepared for the fun and exciting world of sex toys shopping.
Let’s take each area of sex toys, one by one.
Sex toys are definitely not limited to solo flights of ecstasy. Many sex toys can be used by couples, whether they’re used on each other, with one partner watching another, or even vibrators which can be used during the act of penetrative sex itself.
Cock rings are the obvious choice when it comes to couples’ sex toys. These simply designed, stretchy devices are worn around the base of the penis and the testicles, or simply around the base of the shaft. Not only do they temporarily restrict the flow of blood back out from the erection and therefore make your erection harder and last longer, couples’ cock rings (often known as love rings) are also pleasurable for your female partner.
Love rings designed for couples have either nodules or ticklers on the upper, outer section, and/or a vibrating bullet inside, which stimulates her clitoris while you’re having sex. Research has consistently proven that most women do not climax through penetrative sex alone, and using a cock ring whether vibrating or static with ticklers can be just the thing she needs to tip her over that orgasmic edge.
Body massagers can help add the excitement of vibration during erotic massage and foreplay in a way that fingers and tongues alone cannot. For exciting options that don’t have to be limited to the bedroom, why not try some remote control sex toys? Hand them the key to your pleasure with the remote control.
For non-hetero sexual liaisons there are dual ended masturbators for gay men, while lesbian couples can enjoy a wealth of double ended dildos to choose from. Strap on sex isn’t limited to kinky couples, there are styles that suit every sexuality coupling and size preferences.
Couples vibrators usually refers to those which can be used during hetero penetrative sex. By this I mean penis in vagina sex, often shortened to PIV sex. The designer and luxury sex toy brands LELO and We Vibe have created the best couples vibrators which tick all the right boxes. Try the LELO Ida for size with a SenseMotion remote control and 8 stimulation settings, or sample the We Vibe 4 which also has a remote control and various functions. Both are completely waterproof and rechargeable too.
Women’s sex toys have to be the most populated area of adult products. With so much variety it’s almost as if there’s a specific sex toy for each woman!
Women can choose from the traditional types of vibrator such as a phallic style vibe, a classic lady finger or the renowned rabbit vibrators to reach orgasm. Modern styles of vibrator include bullet vibrators for erogenous zone and mostly clitoral stimulation, and abstract vibrators and dildos (non vibrating insertables) which aren’t limited to those who want to replicate the real penis experience. In this way those who want an alternative looking sex toy or vibrator, whether a lesbian lady or simply someone looking to expand their interests, can find what they’re looking for.
Magic wand vibrators are incredibly powerful and some are operated by mains power. For Power Queens, wand vibrators are a dream come true. There are also cordless and waterproof options such as the LELO SmartWands in Medium or Large. The Doxy Wand vibrator is my personal favourite – it’s absolutely the most powerful wand vibrator I’ve ever used.
For dildo lovers (non vibrating insertable sex toys) there’s also a lot of choice available – colour, size, realistic or abstract, material, suction or flat style base and much more.
We have Fifty Shades of Grey to thank for the recent surge in popularity of those famous jiggle balls (also known as love balls, or kegel exercisers). Traditional kegel balls are non-vibrating but have internal weighted balls which knock around within the outer ball. They are worn inside the vagina and may have a retrieval cord, while some do not. The cervix stops toys inserted in the vagina from disappearing into the body, unlike the anal area where you should always use flared base sex toys for safety. Vibrating options are available, with remote control love balls which may have a wire attached or be wireless for hands free or even naughty outdoors fun. Tone your vaginal muscles in the sexiest workout you’ll ever have!
Va-va-vacuum! For a completely different method of intimate stimulation, why not give a vacuum pump a try? There are all kinds of breast pumps, pussy pumps and clit pumps for those who love sexy suction.
For heavy duty vibration and most definitely for Power Queens: sex machines, also known as fucking machines, will stand the test of time in the masturbation department. Hop on when you need a rampant ride to climax and let the powerful machine beneath you do all the work.
Men aren’t left out in the world of sex toys, either. To simulate the penetrative sex experience there are male masturbators to mimic oral sex, anal sex or traditional PIV (penis in vagina) sex. Male masturbators may offer the sublime sensations of a real feel material, while others have the additional benefit of powerful vibrations to add a truly explosive element to masturbation. Pocket Pussies are budget friendly, while the deluxe ranges of TENGA and Fleshlight offer a luxurious treat for the man who makes his pleasure a priority.
For more heavy duty pleasure, sex dolls and larger masturbation devices can breathe a new lease of life into personal playtimes. Gone are the days when your choice was limited to a cheap ‘Blow Up Bessie’, manufacturers such as Pipedream offer realistic weight ‘fanta flesh’ real feel sex dolls and life size masturbators to enjoy whenever and however you want. The Fuck Me Silly masturbators really are an investment in orgasms.
Cock rings are a cheap and cheerful way to liven up both masturbation and sex, with static and vibrating styles available. There are also ‘high end’ rechargeable styles in luxury materials such as silicone, as well as static luxury cock rings made from gleaming stainless steel which could almost serve as bedside ornaments when not in use.
The prostate is an often overlooked pleasure zone for men. If you have any worries, as a man, about using anal sex toys, let this article set you on the right track first. Remember to use lubricant then choose from static or vibrating prostate massagers which are ingeniously designed to hit exactly the right spot every time for the highest levels of pleasure imaginable.
Back Door Fun
Speaking of the prostate and prostate stimulation, anal sex toys can be enjoyed by those of any gender and sexual orientation. They can be enjoyed alone during masturbation – or simply worn for fun during the day, while no-one else knows – or worn during foreplay and sex with a lover.
Anal sex toys usually consist of butt plugs made from various materials. Some may be rigid such as glass butt plugs, while others have more give in them such as rubber and silicone styles. One common trait all good anal sex toys share is that they will have a flared base. This is so that the plug or anal insertable will not become ‘swallowed’ by the anus, thus drawing the anal sex toy up into the body and causing you at best some embarrassment at casualty and at worst, irreparable internal damage.
As with dildos, anal sex toys and butt plugs may be static or they may be vibrating. When purchasing your first butt plug, start smaller than you think you can manage. Anal toys always feel larger when you’re trying to insert them! A good quality lubricant is a must. Purchase some water based lubricant along with your butt plug and use lashings of it. Take it slow and remember to breathe. Your butt needs training up before it becomes a back door fun veteran.
If you’re still not sure what size to start with, there are beginner’s training sets available which offer you a variety of sizes, so you can get a feel for what suits (or fits) you comfortably. With anal toys it’s not the length which will pose a problem, it’s the circumference or girth.
For adventures beyond the vanilla realm, you may be interested in some bondage gear, especially if you’ve been swept along by the tidal wave that is Fifty Shades of Grey. Indeed, there is even an official Fifty Shades of Grey sex toys collection now, as well as a Sensual Care range.
Where do you start with this new world of erotic adventures?
Set the mood – A collar is the universal symbol for submission, although some Dominant partners may wish to wear a collar simply because they signify kinkiness and BDSM. Collars are worn around the neck and fasten either with a buckle or popper fastening.
Blindfolds remove your partner’s ability to see and therefore heighten the arousal and anticipation of proceedings. They have the added benefit of allowing kink newbies to gain their confidence with all things bondage and kink without the pressure of their partner looking right at them. Combined with the soft feel of a flogger’s tails or a tickler over the skin, foreplay can go from 0-scorch in no time at all.
Bondage means removing the consenting partner’s movement, for mutual pleasure. There are several ways to achieve this with sensual bondage gear, the most common of which is by using handcuffs. However instead of the traditional police metal styles which can hurt the wrists, why not invest in some superior neoprene, PU or leather wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs?
To step bondage up a gear, you can attach cuffs to items such as hobble bars and spreader bars to ensure the submissive partner remains in a certain position. There are also under bed restraint systems to have cuffs literally on hand at any time you wish during bedroom fun – or you can really go the whole hog (tie) with some deluxe bondage furniture for the truly deviant.
Mouth gags are oral restraint for your willing, kinky ‘victim’. The most common type of gag is ball gags, which can be breathable (with holes through the ball) or non-breathable (usually rubber, without holes). There is a whole world of different gags out there, hook gags, ring gags, funnel gags, penis gags, inflatable gags and many, many more.
What to do once you have them all tied up and at your mercy? Punish the naughty submissive, of course. If you want to move on from the simple over the knee (OTK) hand spanking you can progress to a solid spanking paddle to add a new dimension.
Other impact play or corporal punishment items which are fun to use for more advanced spanking sessions are whips, floggers and canes. Floggers are the most versatile in that they can be used for romantic, sensual body teasing or a stinging thwack – while canes give a very unforgiving hit which can be too intense for some beginners.
Ready for full on, hardcore BDSM? Try this range of chastity devices, or invest in some erotic bondage furniture.
It can be orgasm ruining to run out of a bedroom essential at just the wrong moment. A battery powered vibrator which fizzles out of life just at the wrong moment, or unsexy friction when just a dab of water based lubricant would soothe the situation – if only you’d replenished your supply.
Don’t let disorganisation put a downer on your sex life!
There are a variety of sex lubricants for every sexy occasion. Water based lubricant is the most versatile, as it is suitable for use with all sex toy materials, compatible with condoms, won’t stain sheets or clothing and is long lasting enough for every type of sexual activity.
Silicone lubricant is fantastic for endurance, during marathon sex sessions or anal sex where there is no natural lubrication and water based lubricant may evaporate with body heat and over time. Flavoured lubricants whet the appetite for oral sex and blow jobs, while stimulating, tingling lubricants can help raise the heat factor for both him and her during foreplay and sex.
Hybrid lubricants combine the longevity of silicone lubricant with the versatility of water based lubricant, meaning they can be used with your favourite sex toys whether they’re silicone or more rigid materials. Don’t forget, you shouldn’t use silicone lubricant with your silicone sex toys as it can cause damage to the surface of the toy.
Anal lubricants are water based or silicone lubricants specially formulated for anal adventures; their thicker, more viscous style means they stay put where you want it and they last throughout the performance with a stylish glide.
Keep your drawer topped up with condoms for safe sex, as well as the batteries your sex toys need – or the leads for your rechargeable sex toys under the bed so you can set them on charge again once they’re clean and done with for the moment.
Talking of clean, it’s incredibly important to keep your sex toys hygienically clean, so add some sex toy cleaner to your basket when shopping. Sex toy cleaner is an anti-bacterial agent which protects you more than cleaning your sex toys with soap and water alone will. They are easy to spray on the sex toy and many can be left on until dry, with no harm to you during subsequent use.
A useful top tip is to keep some clean up wipes by the bed so you can mop up sexy accidents without interruption to your saucy session. This is especially true if you decide to relax each other with the help of some massage oils or erotic massage candles.
Sex Toy Shopping Pointers
There are a few other considerations you might want to remember when sex toys shopping.
Do you have paper thin walls and housemates that might not want to know every detail of your masturbation and sex life? Then look for terms such as ‘whisper quiet’, ‘discreet’ or ‘silent’ when it comes to vibrating sex toys.
Do you mind what your sex toy is made of? There are lots of materials to choose from. Budget friendly toys may be kind on your wallet but the materials are often not built to last through several vigorous sex sessions. Items made from jelly and TPR are also porous, which means that certain amounts of bacteria can become embedded in them, making it incredibly difficult to keep them 100% hygienically clean for use every time. You should also use a condom over porous sex toys if sharing them between different partners.
Non-porous sex toy materials include silicone, glass, metal, stone and ceramic styles.
If you want to enjoy your sex toy in the bath or shower, or simply want a sex toy you can fully submerge to ensure you clean it thoroughly, you will want to look out for waterproof sex toys.
Feel the power
Sick of hoarding batteries? Check how that sex toy you have your eye on is powered. Does it require batteries? Does it come with batteries included? Are they a type of battery you can easily find and buy more of? Perhaps rechargeable sex toys will suit you better, even if you need to invest a little more at the outset.
Word on the street
Finally, sex toy reviews are a wonderful source of real feedback about the adult products. It’s all very well reading the lovely words on a shopping website, but taking into account what other people who have actually used the product have to say about it can mean a difference between delight and disappointment when you rip open the packet and get busy with your new sex toy.
Sex toys are not a replacement for a partner or pleasure, they are the seasoning on your sex life. A sprinkling of the right devices for you and your partner can spice up your sex life and masturbation immeasurably, leaving you fulfilled and confident in all walks of life.
– Cara Sutra