Abandonment Fetish, Neglect Fantasy & Ignore Line Phone Sex

Abandonment Fetish, Neglect Fantasy & Ignore Line Phone Sex

By Cara Sutra

An incredibly popular fetish is the abandonment fetish, which links into neglect fantasy and ignore line phone sex. From my Domme point of view I associate these with the FemDom side of BDSM, however it’s not limited to FemDom.

Abandonment Fetish, Neglect Fantasy and Ignore Line Phone SexThere’s a lot more to abandonment fetish than simply settling someone into a box in the corner and getting on with the ironing (although there’s no reason that can’t be part of a session too, if you decide!). As with most fetishes, for there to be a psychological, physical or sexual appeal to the fetishist, the one who helps this kink come to life needs to be proactive about it. This is easier said than done when it comes to a kink dealing with purposely ignoring or abandoning the person/submissive/bottom.

Foundation of Respect

I believe you really must like the submissive on a friendly, respectful, D/s level before the ignore and neglect part of the abandonment fetish scene becomes effective and enjoyable. If there’s any element of resentment in your neglect, it’s easy to cross the line into non-consent or abuse of the submissive.

That’s not to say ignoring your submissive can’t be an effective punishment, however. Ignoring a submissive after they have disobeyed or acted in a disrespectful way not only punishes them with the loss of your presence and attention, it leaves them anticipating your next move. It also gives you, as the Top or Dominant, some breathing space to get over what is often a flash of anger in which those new to Domination could act rashly, and wrongly. It’s tempting to lash out because you’re able to consensually use force on your submissive, or to attack them verbally or in some other way. Ignoring the submissive in the wrong gives you time to think and give proper consideration to your next move, your actions in response to the specific ‘crime’ of the sub.

Sensation of Inferiority

For the submissive who likes to be ignored, this sensation ties in with feeling inferior of their Owner and unworthy of their time and attention. The fact that their owner or Dominant is neglecting them or ignoring them, either while in the same room or through the medium of Skype, telephone call or other, is a powerful force and helps them get into what those in the scene call ‘subspace’. Subspace is the name for the feeling of deep submission, particularly at times of heightened and intense stimulation, sensation and activity during a D/s (Dominant/submissive) or M/s (Master or Mistress/slave or submissive) scene.

Ignore Line Phone Sex

The abandonment fetish is so popular there are even pay per minute lines available for those who want to call a Mistress and be ignored, by telephone. The idea is that the Mistress or Domme is so busy with other, obviously far more important things, that she has no time or inclination to speak with the submissive who is paying per minute just to hear her doing anything else in the background except speak with him (or her, but I would say the amount of fem submissives who are into ignore kink are few, from my personal experience).

What could the Mistress be doing when she’s ignoring you on the phone? There are so many fun and delightfully cruel possibilities. Trying on her shoes, her clothes… having a shower or relaxing bath… perhaps being licked or fucked by a lover. Imagine only being able to listen as your Mistress enjoys all of these things and more. Cuckoldry is a wonderful fetish, one to discuss in more detail another time – but it ties into this kink beautifully too.

Neglect Fantasy in Person

In person, a submissive can enjoy being ignored by his Mistress while she simply relaxes in either a home, club or other environment, or maybe she arranges a get together with her Domme friends so they can talk about the submissive or slave being ignored as if he weren’t even in the room. Having to just listen silently while She and her friends laugh at how pathetic and useless he is, perhaps focussing on one tiny body part in particular, or picking out another specific sensitive subject sure to cause his cheeks to flush with humiliation and cause him embarrassment which of course, he loves.

Objectification

I like to bring objectification into abandonment fetish as well, using the submissive or slave as furniture, reducing them to something less than human while I humiliate them with my neglect and ignorant-of-them attitude and behaviour. They can serve as a footstool or table, or merely as a human statue in the room. If they are into puppy play or other animal roleplay, this can be utilised by seeing and treating them merely as a house pet, a puppy or kitten or whatever it is they’re into.

Your Thoughts

How do you feel about the abandonment fetish and neglect fantasy? Is it something you’ve ever considered experimenting with? Perhaps it’s a fantasy for you but you’re unsure how you’d act in reality? For the Dominant party it’s difficult to get over our cultural and societal politeness not to ignore someone in the same room. For the submissive, being ignored, so pointedly, is a huge bruise to the pride and ego.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below.

 

Abandonment Fetish, Neglect Fantasy and Ignore Line Phone Sex


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1 COMMENT

  1. I wish I had an ignore fetish. That is like the luckiest fetish possible.
    It’s so easy to get it satisfied (at least I think so). But unfortunately I don’t get turned on by that.

    Great article btw =)

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