Erotic Author Spotlight Series: Jolynn Raymond


This week we welcome Jolynn Raymond into the Erotic Author Spotlight. The author of many BDSM guides as well as fetish based fiction, Jolynn has kindly shared with us some juicy details about the lady behind the kinky words as well as free excerpts and release information.

You can find Jolynn Raymond’s website here and follow on Twitter here.

Thanks for sharing your fantastic erotica, free excerpts, book info and kink advice with us, Jolynn!

– Cara Sutra


young gorgeous blonde in sexy lingerie posing

I’m a strong, bold, and passionate woman who does her best to live out her dreams. I’m having the best years of my life right now, and have discovered my true self in my kinky lifestyle. I’m a wife, Mistress, writer, lesbian, and grandma with a devious imagination and a taste for darkness.

My love of writing began in my early 30s and has been a passion ever since. I love to read, write, travel the world, and am a history buff. My genre’s cover historical romance, often with a spicy kinky twist to suspenseful paranormal thrillers. My love of history makes its presence known in the books I write. They are often set in centuries past. I am a lover of art, architecture, and the study of diverse world cultures. I still reside in the city I grew up in, though have traveled to many places, and live near my childhood home with the love of my life, my two spoiled cats, Niles the Wonder Dog, and our gnome, Gerome. I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for over ten years, and am active in the kink community. My BDSM and power exchange relationships have always been loving and committed. I am married and we practice kink and BDSM within our marriage. What we do involves a deep level of trust. Below you will find more direct comments about my kink activities and some cautionary advice.

As a person who has been in the BDSM lifestyle for over ten years, I wish to give a word of caution to those who may be new. I spent a long time learning from books, the internet (not porn sites!), educational classes at kink events, kink get togethers, and talking to others in the lifestyle. I am still learning and always will be as new types of play arise. I advise those who are reading about some the play and activities we engage in for the first time, to take the time to learn about the things you are interested in rather than jumping in feet first. If something sparks your interest, great, learn about how to do it safely. There are numerous resources on the internet that give factual, safe guidelines for bondage, impact play, or other things you might wish to experience. is in my opinion the best resource, and has factual information on all things kink as well as experienced people who can advise you on safe play and kinky or power exchange relationships. There is more to spanking and flogging than simply hitting someone, and more to being dominant or submissive than ordering someone about or doing everything you’re told. Dominants must be responsible. Yes I said it. Being a dominant is a big responsibility.

I have begun a weekly informational post on a wide variety of BDSM posts on my blog, Jolynn Raymond’s Dark Obsessions at  I also have begun to feature guest posts on Thursdays that are on kinks and relationships that tend to be misunderstood in an effort to educate and bash the stereotypes and misconceptions that surround BDSM, our kinks, and how we love and play.

Erotic Writing

Lessons of Love: An Erotic Historical Romance

lessons of love - an erotic historical romance - jolynn raymond

Please be advised that this novel is set in a time when women had no rights, especially when it came to their husbands. The heroine is taken, and forced into marriage. As a wife, she must submit to all things. This is a period in history where men took what they wanted. It was not seen as rape, it was seen as a duty. If they refused, they could be punished. This book contains graphic sex as well as physical discipline in the form of spanking. If these things offend you, please read something else.

Lessons of Love is an old fashion bodice ripper, full of passionate love scenes full of fire, and old fashioned discipline for those who refuse to obey. One with a beautiful, spirited heroine, and a dark, cruel rogue whose heart must be tamed. He takes her as his, and the battle of wills begins. One that has been fought for ages between a man who has no intention of ever feeling love, and a woman who must teach his heart to feel or be forever adrift in a life of cruelty.

In 1842 Louisiana, Jolie Dupree lives an oppressive life ruled by her strict and unloving stepfather. She has the luxuries of plantation life, but feels suffocated under his watchful eye. Fate brings an abrupt change in the form of Cole Jameson, a man full of wealth but short on acceptance into society. He needs the cloak of respectability to hide behind, and silence the rumors of girls gone missing while in his company. His business of selling genteel women to rich men with unsavory tastes, must not be discovered.

When he comes upon the lovely Jolie bathing in a secluded glen, he sees in her the answer to his problem. A young bride with an old family name will provide an aura of propriety. She is a girl from a suitable family, but also one who is not loved. She’s perfect for his scheme. He carries her home, bound, wet, and almost bare, with a story of saved virtue, and is granted her hand in marriage.

Cole is a man who has never loved and has no plans to start. He doesn’t give a care for the women whose lives he shatters, but Jolie isn’t just any woman. Her beauty bewitches him even as her stubborn will defies him time after time. He weds her with plans to make her an ornament on his arm and a slave in his bed. He will teach her how to please a man with a hard hand and an unfeeling heart. Will Cole be able to keep his cold heart and continue with his business of white slavery, treating his new wife as cruelly as he does all his captives? Or will Jolie’s fiery spirit and beauty break through the ice that surrounds his heart and put an end to his cruel ways?

Elizabeth’s Destiny: A Kinky Historical Romance

elizabeth's destiny - a kinky historical romance - jolynn raymond

Though this is a historical romance, this book contains graphic BDSM sex. Elizabeth is the unwilling victim of sexual slavery, forced into the harem of a sadistic man. Maxwell is callous and cruel, and cares nothing for the women he kidnaps. He is not a hero or a character you will love at first sight. The lovers in my stories must fight hard for their happily ever afters. Nothing comes easy or quick.

Packed off by her mother and the church elders because of her rebellious nature, lovely Elizabeth Thornton finds herself living in India. She has been sent there to be trained as a Zenana missionary, but fate has other things in mind. Maxwell Harrison is a rogue with few morals. His job is to capture and train beautiful women in the art of sadistic passion for his cruel employer’s harem. He sets his sights on Elizabeth the moment he sees her, knowing she will be a golden treasure among the other women, a unique toy in a gilded toy box. Once properly trained, she will make an exquisite sex slave. Beautiful and schooled in the art of pain and pleasure, taught to crave the lash, always ready to be taken whenever she is desired.

Elizabeth’s spirit struggles against her fate, and though her body responds to Maxwell’s teachings, she cannot stop her fight for freedom. Maxwell has never cared for any of the women he has abducted, but he cannot deny what he feels for his latest captive. Once love touches his heart, Maxwell knows he cannot turn Elizabeth over to his boss, but freedom isn’t easily obtained. They are trapped within the palace walls, and within the city itself. Jeeval is rich and powerful, and doesn’t take kindly to those who wish to steal his possessions. To stay means Elizabeth will become a concubine, lost to Maxwell forever. To flee means to risk death, but life without each other is no life at all. Can they escape and find their happily ever after, or will their quest for freedom cost them everything?

Sweet Agony: A Collection of BDSM Erotica

sweet agony - a collection of bdsm erotica - jolynn raymond

Sweet Agony is a collection of erotic BDSM scenes. There is no long build-up of surrounding story line, just snap shots of real life erotic M/f, BDSM play. That is not to say the stories are purely porn without a plot. The characters are fleshed out, there is dialog, and there is enough backstory to become intimately connected to the participants in each scene as well as creating an emotional connection between the players themselves. The reader joins each couple just prior to the BDSM scene taking place, or at the start of it, and is drawn into their world of kinky and highly explicit sex.

Jolynn Raymond’s Dark Obsessions: A Collection of Lesbian BDSM Erotica

Jolynn Raymond's Dark Obsessions: A Collection of Lesbian BDSM Erotica

Every woman has a dark obsession. Some are bold enough to live them. Dark Obsessions tells the stories of those who dare to play out their deepest desires. The book contains six erotic BDSM stories in which the reader is placed into the position of a voyeur who gets to sit unseen, observing, as each play session unfolds. All of the stories focus on the kinky scenes that take place within the power exchange relationships of the lesbian couples, as they practice the sensual, erotic art of pleasure, pain, and desire.

Dining In: A Taste of Erotic Food Play

Dining In: A Taste of Erotic Food Play by Jolynn Raymond

Dining In is a spicy taste of erotic food play that will titillate the body and the senses. Mia comes home after a long day at work to find erotic notes from her lover, Ethan. The notes lead Mia into a wonderfully erotic and very romantic evening of food, sex, and passion as Ethan feeds her a meal of sexually arousing foods in a highly erotic and sometimes divinely messy, manner. Each course is designed to stimulate Mia’s senses. leaving her aroused and craving more from her lover, until finally the ultimate dessert is served.

Taken In Hand: A Guide to Domestic Discipline, Power Exchange Relationships and Related BDSM Topics

Taken In Hand: A Guide to Domestic Discipline, Power Exchange Relationships and Related BDSM Topics jolynn raymond

Jolynn Raymond has written a book that shares the details of her own long lasting domestic discipline marriage and her experience surrounding power exchange relationships. It explains why these unconventional relationships work so well for so many couples. The book is an in-depth tutorial that takes the relationship past the simple act of discipline, to building a rock solid foundation that will ultimately create a deep bond of trust and love between those involved.

Taken In Hand will guide those interested in adding consensual domestic discipline, dominance and submission, and structure to their own relationship through the initial steps of communication, understanding and discovering both partner’s needs, creating mutual and realistic expectations, rules, and consequences, to the inevitable first spanking.

Taken In Hand will prove useful to those just starting out, as well as to those with some experience, as Ms. Raymond outlines the pitfalls, difficulties, and successes she has encountered in her own marriage. She also emphasizes the importance of consent, and pays special attention to the fine line between discipline and abuse.

The last part of the book examines the styles and types of spanking, gives an anal sex tutorial, talks about the responsibilities or being a dominant and gives tips for the submissive partner. Whether you need insight into BDSM as it relates to relationships or are trying to build a domestic discipline marriage from scratch, Taken In Hand will prove to be a comprehensive and practical guide.

Free Excerpts

This is an excerpt from my historical erotic romance ‘Lessons of Love’. We take a peek at Jolie’s first spanking.

Cole ended his inspection of his new wife and strode over to the massive bed. He sat on the edge and beckoned her with his hands and eyes. It was time to take what was his, but first she had to be taught a lesson. There was no room for disobedience of any kind between a man and his wife.

“I’m afraid you have to be punished love. You pushed my hands away and were defiant all day. You belong to me plain and simple, and you will do as I say the moment I tell you to. As your husband it is my job to make sure you are disciplined properly. A man can’t allow his wife to be rude and insolent. You need to be taught to respect me.”

“Please… no. I will do as you ask. Please.”

“It must be done, Jolie. You must be taught total obedience. Now no more arguments; or I will become angry. Come and lay over my lap. It’s time for some correction, wife. You must be shown what will happen if you chose to misbehave.”

“Please no, Cole. I can’t. Please. I’m sorry.” Tears shone in Jolie’s eyes and her chest heaved as she took huge gulps of air, trying to calm herself, biting her lip and drawing her eyebrows together over eyes filled with fear. Cole thought she was a sight to behold, so erotic and yet so innocent.

“Come to me now, Jolie.” Cole growled and held out his hand, and Jolie went to him on trembling legs. He drew her down into his lap and slowly rubbed her back in soft circles. Then he wrapped his arm around her waist and bent her forward over his knee trapping her legs between his. Cole laid his hand on the soft smooth skin of her bottom and stroked it gently. He spread her thighs and slid his fingers between her netherlips, stroking her, building her passion even now when she was on the brink of punishment. He continued his assault of her sensitive nub, building her to the peak of pleasure until she was moaning with desire while his own body burned with longing at the sight and feel of her bent over his lap ready to be tamed to his will.

Cole raised his hand and brought it down hard shattering the hot desire that was burning inside her. All her senses were immediately focused on the stinging pain of her bottom. Cole’s palm smacked her bottom again and a crimson print appeared in its wake. Jolie cried out and rocked her hips but Cole kept a tight hold on her wiggling body.

“Please Cole. Noooo!”

Cole brought his hand down again and again, the cracking sounds his palm made on impact resounding through the bedchamber as Jolie’s creamy white skin turned scarlet under the fierce blows. She gasped and a huge sob escaped her lips, then her whole body shook with warring feelings as his fingers took to stroking between her legs for a few brief moments again.

“I am your husband, Jolie and you will do what I say. I control every inch of your body. Your pleasure and your pain lie in my hands alone. Do you understand me, wife?” Cole rubbed his palm over the burning flesh on her bottom as he waited for an answer. Stroking, dancing his fingertips over the scarlet skin, rubbing, and sending tingles through her body.


This is a recent post from the Dungeon Crawl which is featured each Wednesday on my blog. It is a teaser from my book Sweet Agony, which is a collection of short BDSM erotic stories. Nicholas has Amelia on her stomach on a pillow, and feels he needs to punish her before she can get what she wants.

He couldn’t wait to fuck her, but first she had to be punished.

Nicholas roughly fucked her bottom with the butt plug until Amelia was caught between whimpering in pain and moaning in pleasure. The nasty things he did to her, never ceased to drive her wild. The fact that she loved every one of them made her question her own sanity at times. Her whole world revolved around the delicious sensations he was creating in her body.

Nicholas began to move the plug slowly, deeply, gently until she rocked her hips in rhythm, on the verge of a powerful climax. She was dying to ride the wave that would crest and send her crashing over the edge. Her juices were running down her thighs, her clit was throbbing with need, her nipples were hard pebbles pressed into the cool sheet beneath her body. Every inch of her skin was alive with a throbbing sensation of need and desire. Amelia pulled on her restraints and rocked her hips again, unable to help herself.

Angered by her continued disobedience, Nicholas pulled back on her hair and growled in her ear, nipping the tender lobe. “Why must you be so willful? No moving and no cumming.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not even close to being sorry yet kitten, but you will be. Gonna warm that little ass of yours right up till it’s on fire love, then I’m gonna fuck you so hard, pet. You’ll scream so loud they’ll hear you down in hell. Such a naughty whore. My slut is gonna get it hard and nasty just like she needs, and she’s gonna scream my name as she comes.”

Amelia loved it when Nicholas spanked her and told her how rough he was going to be. It was one reason she never did as she was told. She was always defiant, always moved when she wasn’t supposed to or spoke when Nicholas told her not to. Yes it was hard to control herself when she was so hot she could barely think, but the real reason she disobeyed was because the feel of his hard hand or the smooth leather of the belt warming up her ass sent delicious bolts of fire to her very core. The pain was exquisite and the way he would growl at her and rough her up, turned her on to no end. Sometimes just the pain alone made her cum.

There was another reason Amelia yearned to be punished, and it had nothing to do with sex. When Nicholas spanked her – really hit her good and hard until tears were streaming down her cheeks – the dam of emotions that built up in her soul burst open, letting all the stress of the day spill over, and setting her free. More likely than not, her days were full of tension at work. She carried a huge amount of responsibility and stress on her shoulders. It was stress she had a hard time letting go of, and Nicholas knew it. He knew how she felt, and knew the stress would flow out with her tears. The inner torment would be washed away when she came and cried. Doing this to her body soothed her soul as much as any words or loving touches could, possibly even more.

But now the time for reflection was over. Here she was, presented so beautifully, ready to yield to his hand and cum at his will. Nicholas gazed at Amelia’s perfect body for a few more seconds as she lay there quivering before him, letting his own need build ever stronger. He was very interested in finding out how long she could hold back her orgasm with the plug in place. She always went wild when fucked in her ass, and the large plug was buried to the hilt inside her like his thick cock. Mixing anal penetration with a good hard spanking would surely drive her mad.

Nicholas picked up the paddle from the dresser and went to his lady love. God she was magnificent, lying there trembling with fear and need, her skin a perfect unblemished canvas. Well he was going to turn her pale skin a glowing crimson red. He laid the paddle on her bottom and Amelia moaned. She had a love/hate relationship with the wooden paddle that he was well aware of. Nicholas ran the smooth cool wood back and forth across her ass watching her skin quiver in anticipation.

“Do you want me to spank you, kitten?”


“Has baby been a bad girl?”

“Yes, God yes. So, so bad.”

“I agree. You were a tease last night when you knew I had too much work to do. I had to make so many business calls but you decided to play the strumpet. You kept brushing past me, naughty fingers trailing over my ass and cock while I was on the phone with a client. Such a dirty slut you were, Amelia. Did you do it because you knew I’d make you pay for your behavior? I didn’t have time last night but I certainly do now. Is this what you were looking for?”

“No I… I don’t know. Please Nicholas.” Her mind was in a whirl because of the fire raging in every nerve of her body. She couldn’t think, couldn’t reply.

“No lying kitten. Hum, being a slut and telling lies. I would say you deserve this.”

Amelia moaned again. “Yes, yes, please Nicholas.”

Nicholas smiled. She was right where he wanted her. Primed and ready for anything. The need was consuming her, all else had faded from her mind. “Remember Amelia, there will be no cumming without permission.”

“I won’t.”

“I think you might. The pain makes you burn inside love. It heats up your pussy and makes you so very, very, hot. And this…” Nicholas twisted the butt plug and Amelia let out a whoosh of air. “This is going to make it all that much harder to keep yourself from going over the edge.”

Nicholas brought the paddle down right on the center of her ass, low and hard. Amelia cried out as it grazed her nether lips and sent an agonizing fire spreading across her bottom. She tensed, then her body went slack as she relinquished all control to her lover. Nicholas went to work and Amelia pulled against the cuffs and ropes that bound her, not trying to move away from the stinging blows, but to try and arch into them. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she bit her lip to hold back a wail of pain, but she was also becoming hotter by the second.

He’d been tormenting her for so long. First the painting of the honey, then the oh, so slow exquisite torture of him licking it off. That followed by his nasty words, teasing fingers, and the plug in her ass made her crazed. She writhed on the bed as much as her bindings would allow, tossing her head, causing the blindfold to slip from her eyes, whimpering, then crying out in agony and ecstasy, fighting the need to cum. It was a losing battle but still she fought, she had to: cumming wasn’t allowed. To make matters worse, Nicholas kept up a stream of dirty talk as he paddled her backside, right cheek, left cheek, down to the tops of her thighs, then right in the middle of her ass again, the nasty naughties he hissed priming her cunt like a pump.

He told her how hard he was going to fuck her and how much she was going to love it. Nicholas told her he was going to hold her blazing cheeks apart and fuck her in her tight ass until she passed out from cumming again and again. He was hard and throbbing as he watched Amelia’s creamy skin turn rosy as her head toss back and forth while she cried into the pillow. His own need fueled the menacing hiss in his words.

“Such a beautiful ass you have Amelia, just made for spanking and fucking. Tonight I’m going to fuck you every way a man can. I’m going to give it to you good while you whimper and cry. Going to fuck you so hard when I put my cock in your ass, my sweet slut, that you’ll beg me to stop, and then pray I never will. I’m going to pound it to you good, because that’s what you like. You love it when I fuck you so hard that you can’t see straight don’t you baby? Do you want it Amelia? Do you want me to fuck your needy little pussy? Should I take you on the floor while your poor sore ass rubs against the carpet? Or maybe I should put you on your hands and knees, fucking harder and harder until your knees buckle. Going to fuck you good and proper Amelia, all… night… long.”

“Oh God, Nicholas.” Her breath came in little hiccups and her hips were rocking along with every blow. Amelia felt the hot tide of her orgasm welling up inside her. Nicholas saw her juices flooding her thighs, saw her body tense in response to her building orgasm, and suddenly stopped. He reached out and pressed a cool hand on her blazing skin, making Amelia moan. Nicholas squeezed her crimson cheeks, and Amelia let out a wail and ground her hips into the bed.

“You are not to cum, Amelia.”


This is one of my educational BDSM Posts entitled ‘Aftercare and BDSM Play’.

I am a strong advocate of aftercare when engaging in BDSM play. What we do for recreation not only affects the body, but also affects the mind. Whether I play intimately with my wife, high impact with my play partner who is tough as nails, or am topping a friend who wishes to learn techniques or experience something new, I always provide aftercare. The only time I would not, would be if in the pre scene negotiations, and someone told me they wish to be left alone in their space. Even then, I wouldn’t feel it was just okay to put them out of my mind and I would make certain to learn what is their normal routine and usual activities after play.

I will say right now that not every dominant or top believes in, or provides aftercare. Some feel, “Hey you, clean and put away the gear.” is the way to go. I won’t say negative things about the way they do things. However, I will say that in pre play negotiations they ethically should tell a new partner they do not give aftercare. All of us are different. I will not bash someone’s way of doing things, I will just help to educate those who are new or are seeking to learn by explaining and describing my views and what my aftercare consists of.

One last word of warning just because you know I have to make sure safety is covered whenever I talk about BDSM, driving in subspace is like driving drunk. Do not let someone you’ve played with drive until you are sure their feet are on the ground.

Everyone reacts differently to BDSM play and different BDSM play causes different reactions. I am a lover of sensation play, think feathers, vampire gloves, sharp and prickly things, fur, drumming canes, love electric play with the Neon Wand, and do impact play that goes from light to heavy depending on my partner. Sexual play along with BDSM play is reserved for my wife.

Play that causes pain can increase the release of endorphins into the system as well as adrenaline. Play that causes an emotional mind fuck such as showing your partner a sharp knife, telling them you’re going to do evil things with it, blindfolding them, and then proceeding to use a butter knife or a claw to trace lines and ‘cuts’ all over their body will cause the fight or flight response in someone. Most times the option of both is denied because of rope, or because you have forbidden them to move. Their mind and body prepare for fight or flight and then can’t. The body can go a bit haywire, but it can cause a tremendous rush as well. Think of the rush extreme sports enthusiast get when they do something dangerous. All of this may sound horrid to someone new, but those who do it, do it for a reason, and most submissives I know would never do psychological play or edge play with someone they didn’t trust deeply.

Whether you do a good hard spanking, make your partner super relaxed and in tune with you through cane drumming or sensation play, do a heavy flogging session, tie them up, or do some other type of play, talk to them ahead of time to negotiate aftercare. Ask them how they react or have reacted in the past to different types of play and specifically to the type of play you are going to engage in. My wife needs to lie down, be warm, and be cuddled. This wasn’t an issue at home, though our relationship was new and we hadn’t played too much. The bed was near and she’d walk with my arms around her to it. When we went to an event I thought I had prepared for what she would need, but when I unclipped her cuffs from the cross, she went to her hands and knees and started crawling on the hotel convention area carpet.

I had put blankets and something cushy down, made a sort of nest for her that was soft, clean, and warm, but she threw me for a loop when she did that. The addition of a blindfold to help block out all the other people in the dungeon made her even more out of it than usual. I can’t carry her and she was deep in subspace. The combination messed up my aftercare plans. I tried to get her up, but she was to the ‘nest’ I made pretty quick, still, I felt as if I hadn’t prepared well enough. Now days I simply make sure the water, slippers, extra blankets, chocolate, etc. she needs is within reach of where she is going to lie down, and hold her tight until I get her there. At home we now have our dungeon in the basement. I pull two papasan cushions in from the rec room side, have a blanket heating on the towel warmer, and more on the cushions along with all that I need so we can lay together and cuddle. That is what she needs so that is what I do. She is foggy in the head and sleepy so I make sure she gets sips of water during play. I always have a bottle of water with a straw in it for whoever I play with to drink from during a scene.

My hard core masochist gets water during, frequent breaks from the hardcore implements like mixing it up with the fur mitt for a minute, scratching his back, etc. He has a robe at our house and Beauty often is making dinner while we play, so he gets a warm robe, a blanket, slippers, chocolate, (glucose can drop during play), and often his favorite meal of meatloaf afterwards.

Play that involves other friends who are new partners begins with negotiation. It’s not a, ‘Well if I do this, you can do that’ kind of negotiation. They express what they are interested in experiencing, I tell them how I see things going and what I have planned. I do not tell my wife or my regular play partner what my semi scripted plan is, but I do with someone I haven’t played with before. I also ask them, where on your body can’t I touch you. This eliminates any confusion. It doesn’t always mean private areas. They might have a shoulder injury, have arthritis, or like my wife, screws in their back. I also always ask them how they have reacted in the past to X,Y,Z. Even if the play I plan is completely new to them, I am interested in their past reaction to play in general and if there were problems that developed.

I usually try to have someone else in our dungeon when I play with a new partner. This is for both our sakes. Things can get really fuzzy in their heads. What I do may not be what they exactly remembered. I do a green, yellow, red check, for yes I like that, that’s about my limit, or stop!. Things said by a bottom during play that is different from what was negotiated will make the play more intense, up the level of pain, or over ride what was listed as a hard limit. Decision making is skewed during play.


1. Always give water during and after play. A bottle of water with a straw that bends is great for during. Then you can give water at odd angles.
2. Have candy or chocolate to give after. Adrenaline or endorphin rush depletes the body’s energy.
3. Have first aid supplies at hand. My heavy masochist partner sometimes get small skin breaks. I use an alcohol wipe, Band-Aids, with antibiotic ointment.
4. A warm blanket is essential in my book, especially if someone was bound.
5. A place to sit, or lie down that is comfy and at least semi quiet.
6. Soft words, the rubbing of their back, talking if they wish, or quiet if they don’t but staying near.
7. Definite conversation after their head has cleared to make certain they are shaking off the fog. This doesn’t have to be kink related.
8. My wife gets cuddles, soft words, hair smoothing, and loving touches.
9. I like my play partners to eat something and sit and relax. No rushing home.
10. There are numbing lotions for sore bottoms, or just plain lotion can feel wonderful. Use it on the back and bottom.

I make my play partner comfy and tend to the clean up myself, but that is just me. For a bottom, part of their recreation is the floaty sub space afterwards. I figure they have their right to it. Wiping down my toys and furniture pieces we used is no big deal. Perhaps I come down in my own way as I rearrange everything. I’m a bit OCD. With my wife, I love the cuddling after. It’s a bonus that helps us feel closer and it touches the nurturer in me.

Do what is right for you, but if you’re topping or playing with your submissive, make sure they know if you are one who doesn’t give aftercare. Some submissives would be completely lost or feel cut loose without it. If you are a submissive who does want aftercare, tell your top. Even then, communicate what is normal for you.

We play hard and sometimes our play is extreme. We owe it to each other to take care of the people we play with. Have that conversation people. It’s important for safe, sane, and do consensual play.


Jolynn Raymond’s Dark Obsessions website

Jolynn Raymond’s Amazon page & Jolynn Raymond on Amazon UK

Jolynn Raymond’s Facebook pages: &

Jolynn Raymond’s Twitter

Additional Info

I am also a sex blogger besides being an erotica author, and offer different types of articles on my blog for everyone.

– Jolynn Raymond

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