Sex Blogger Spotlight Series: Modesty Ablaze


Modesty Ablaze

This week I welcome the fabulous Modesty Ablaze into the sex blogger spotlight here at I admire her passion and courage in becoming a very open sex blogger, as well as making wonderful videos you can watch through the links on her site. Thank you Modesty Ablaze for being part of my Sex Blogger Spotlight Series, and it’s on with the show!

(Note: If you want to be a part of this series, just check out what I’d like you to email me, here.)

Modesty Ablaze

My blog started almost as a joke, or dare really. Hubby and I had been idly channel-hopping on the TV and stumbled across one of those technology programs. It was all about the explosion of “normal people” using blogging sites to blog about their hobbies or interests. I joked to Hubby “I could start a blog on how much I love sex”. He said “I dare you! You could post all those diary entries you’ve been writing for years and years” . . . and a few days later Modesty Ablaze was born.

I never imagined anyone would even FIND my blog, let-alone find it interesting. But within a few weeks I started receiving more and more visits . . . and some lovely flattering and sweet emails, comments and lots and lots of questions about our lifestyle.

I suddenly found myself adding more posts, some of our fun pictures . . . answering all the questions and sharing news and links of some of my favourite erotic authors (I started my own, occasional, Erotic Authoress Spotlight guest posts Category in December of 2012) and blog-sites.

And it has just continued from there . . .

What’s your blog name/online handle and how did you come up with the idea?

My blog name Modesty Ablaze came about from a one of my “Cougar Moments” with an extremely energetic young man at our local Swingers Club. After we emerged from the “viewing room” to a round of applause from quite a crowd of on-lookers, I blushingly giggled to my young lover “you’ve sent my modesty up in flames”. He replied “Modesty Ablaze”.

Which country do you live in?


Approximately how long have you been sex blogging?

I posted my first blog-post in January of 2012 . . . so just over two years, and it has just flown by.

Why did you start reviewing sex toys?

I’d taken one of my close “Friends” along to my favourite Toy Shop (Sh! Women’s Emporium) in Hoxton. I’ve bought lots and lots of toys (and lingerie) there in the past . . . and he wanted to join me on my latest shopping expedition. It was after we’d left (and he’d spent almost as much as I had – LOL!!!) that he said to me “you seem to know about everything on the shelves, you should review them on your website”. Hubby laughed “you’re right, she should, she’s got drawers full of them at home!”

What’s your favourite thing about blogging?

Receiving all the messages, comments and emails from people who tell me how much they enjoy following my posts etc. It’s also been wonderful receiving emails since my MLNP videos saying lovely things about how it has helped spark their own love-life with their partners. Hearing things like that is really nice.

Do you use social media? If so, where can we find you?

@ Twitter = @ablazingmodesty

@ YouTube = ModestyAblaze

@ Facebook = BlazingModesty

@ Pinterest = Modesty Ablaze

@ Tumblr = Modesty Ablaze

@ Google Plus = Modesty Ablaze

Do your friends know you’re a sex blogger?

None of my “normal vanilla” friends know of my blogging site. However, quite a few of our Swinging Friends know about Modesty Ablaze and are quite happy to be mentioned (or even “featured”) occasionally in my posts.

Have you ever done anything specifically so you can blog about it afterwards?

No. My posts . . . and my Ebook Diaries . . . are all about things that have just happened naturally because of our lifestyle. They are about occasions that I have enjoyed, or experienced, during the past 30 years of the wonderful open-relationship Hubby and I share. I have never set-out to do, or try, something just so that I can write about it.

Do you take part in any blog memes? If so, which ones?

I do occasionally join-in Molly’s Sinful Sunday, and Curvaceous Dee’s Scavenger Hunt memes, because I love the fun aspect of both of them. I think we are brought-up to view sexuality (and even the natural beauty of our own bodies) to be shameful in some way, or something we should keep secret and not talk about. So I absolutely love it that both Sinful Sunday and Scavenger Hunt challenge those views and celebrate the fact that sex SHOULD be FUN and that we should not be ashamed of our sexuality . . . and that all of our bodies are different and can be beautiful and arousing for so many other people!

Share with us a funny or interesting experience that’s happened to you in the course of your blogging.

Standing at the bar in our favourite Swinging Club last year and having a work colleague walk in from the entrance lobby! We both stood looking at each other for a few seconds, both mouthing “Oh my God!” before breaking into giggles and “Fancy meeting you HERE!!!” welcomes as we greeted each other. After introducing our husbands to each other, we spent the next 30 minutes at the bar joking and laughing and talking about our experiences.

We passed each other several times during the evening . . . but no, we didn’t indulge!!!

Will you still be blogging in 5 years time?

LOL!!! – As long as I can find the time to keep up with it all . . . and as long as it doesn’t interfere with my “socialising”!!!

If not already a professional blog: would you say you’re looking to earn a living from blogging eventually, or will it remain a hobby?

I don’t have enough free time to make a career from Modesty Ablaze. I will be just happy if my occasional posts can reach-out to people and make them smile and giggle, feel better about themselves . . . and perhaps inspire them to communicate more openly with their partners about things that interest and arouse them.

Tell us about three other bloggers you admire, and why.

Girl On The Net – Always interesting, and inspiring, articles on so many aspects of sexuality from a women’s point-of-view. Often provocative and quite challenging . . . but views which I almost always agree with . . . and wish I could communicate as well as Girl does. Required reading please!!!

Kink – Loris’ site is a treasure-trove of delightful and sometimes frightening honesty (read her “Lori’s Corner” tab). I love her frequent (and arousing) self-portrait photos and her wondrous Toy Reviews section is a first-stop before-you-shop guide.

Dirty Little Whispers – Delightfully cheeky, delightfully informative, delightfully fun. And such a delight to have met Emma at Erotica 13. I’m always envious of Emma’s stylish and erotic photos . . . and of course her lovely figure, and always check-in to see who she is featuring on her Naked Wednesday posts.

If you review sex toys, what are the top three toys you wish you could get your hands on next?

LOL !!! Any of the Lelo brands???

Who is your favourite adult shopping company, and why?

Sh! (Women’s Erotic Emporium) Is my favourite adult shopping company, especially as their Hoxton shop in London is so local for me!! Rene and all her staff are always so friendly and welcoming and ever-so helpful with their recommendations and advice. And, of course, the fact that it is a shop run BY women . . . FOR women . . . is so, so appealing (and important) to me. I recently posted about Sh! on my blog at: Sh! It’s not a Secret and I thoroughly recommend you visit them either at their shop, or on-line if you are not in London.

Do you prefer blogging fictional erotica, real life sex anecdotes or factual based content such as reviews and advice guides?

I just post, whenever I can find the time, about the things that are inspiring or exciting me at that specific moment in time. So I enjoy sharing my own experiences and discoveries of new toys, or new erotic writers or events that I come across . . . after all . . .  a little variety is a lot of fun isn’t it???


Xxx – K (aka Modesty Ablaze)

sex blogger spotlight series

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, Modesty Ablaze.

– Cara Sutra

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