The importance of a sex positive ethos for your sex toys shop

happy sexy shopping

Part way through a decade where sexuality is seeing a rapid evolution into a more positive, accepting and confident role in adult life, it has never been more important to ensure you select the right ethos for your sex toys shop.

The name, tagline and content you choose for your website or adult store reflects on your business, and customers will either invest, emotionally and financially, in your company, or they will simply press the back button and go to a competitor more in tune with their views and desires. It may be easier to get customers in a bricks and mortar store to buy your sex toys and products, after all it’s rare for sex shops to be so closely located that customers can simply skip between them at a moment’s whim. But how many of you business owners have a bricks and mortar shop?

With e-commerce being the lifeblood of most 21st century business owners, it is vitally important that attention is paid to the design, navigation and function of your sex toys site. Unlike the traditional method of shopping on the high street, one person’s experience on your website can pretty instantaneously be shared with thousands, with the double edged sword of social media. That’s not all, however. The impression that visitors are given upon reaching your site determines how likely they are to make that all important purchase, from seeing the products, all the way through to the checkout process.

After seeing a number of, in my opinion, poorly chosen domain names, taglines and general home page copy on sex toy websites recently, I have been moved to blog about my concerns in this regard. Your domain name, which for most is usually the business name, is the first building block of your brand and online presence. Many have battled to find that elusive 5 letter domain. Some have succeeded, some haven’t. There are constant debates on the use and effects of hyphenated domain names. Is the traditional or .com still favoured over the newer, but possibly gimmicky .xxx? These are decisions your team will have to debate and answer.

What shouldn’t ever be in doubt is that your brand and business presence need to be favourable and positive. Sex positive. You should be eager to maintain and continue the work of thousands of sex educators worldwide over the past few decades, helping to debunk myths when it comes to the use of sex toys as well as gender roles and perceived or real inequalities relating to sex, gender and relationships.

For instance, I would not advise a sex toys website or shop to select a domain name or business name based on the old myth that vibrators are better than men (purporting what I’d hoped was long dead intimidation of men from the use of vibrators and other sex toys by women), that sex toys are merely for women, that men using anal toys must therefore be gay, or any implication that the purchase of or use of sex toys replaces a person or partner and makes their role in life null and void.

For the most part, sex toy customers are an educated and knowledgeable bunch and don’t take kindly to being under-estimated or dragged back to the dark ages of sexual education. We happily live in a more enlightened time, where the purchase of a vibrator can be a happy one, regardless of whether you’re a man, a woman, single, attached, mono, poly, kinky, vanilla, straight, bi or gay. If you’re of an adult age, sex toys can be used and celebrated as life accessories.

Any attempt to pit one group of adults against another group of adults through your business ethos is not only insulting to your visitors and customers, it’s short sighted on behalf of your business. Wise up, show respect and take care over the message you’re sending out to those you are lucky enough to have visiting your shop, out of all the competitors they could be visiting.

– Cara Sutra


  1. I know exactly which store inspired this post, and was shocked when I confronted them on twitter a few days ago at how ardently and naively they defended their latent misandry.

    • Completely naive in my opinion. Did they really think such blatant sexism would be acceptable and even humorous in what is struggling to be a sex positive era? Big mistake.

      Thanks for your comment 🙂

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