BDSM & FemDom Advice: Toybox Tales – Fetish Gear Essentials

BDSM Toy Box Essentials

fetish bondage essential sex toys advice article

Visualise any master craftsman and you will agree that a set of tools specifically engineered for the task in hand is required to produce consistent, spectacular results.

Domination, and FemDom in particular, is also a valuable, specialised skill. Dominating another person, making them feel vulnerable yet at the same time completely cherished as a valued asset, is a talent which is rare even amongst those in the BDSM scene.

In order to complement the natural skill of Domination and elicit the finely sculpted submissive that you desire, you may choose to use one or more of the many tools of the BDSM trade.

Precisely which tools are out there, ready to be used in this way? What are the best ways to use them? Why should you even consider picking up one of these so-called ‘tools’ and using them on another person?

Although I believe that the foundation of Domination and controlling another person stems from your own innate character, there are many accessories such as kinky sex toys and bondage equipment which can help you to ‘hammer the point home’ on any given occasion. No matter how strong the dominant aspect of your own psyche, it can be both effective and enjoyable to use one of these available tools as a practical help.

To begin with, a collar is the internationally recognised symbol of ownership within the BDSM scene. A person who wears a collar is generally seen as being a submissive person, either showing merely this side of their nature, or the fact they are owned by their Dominant partner.

In recent times, collars have also become a fashion accessory – being worn even by those with a Dominant orientation. However, the more traditional role of the collar still stands, which is to show submission and the status of being owned.

Many fetish collars have and O or D ring attached to the front, central area to which a leash or lead can be attached, usually by way of a trigger clip on the lead. The other end of the lead will have a handle which can either be attached to a piece of furniture to restrain the submissive, or held in the hand of their Dominant partner or ‘Owner’ in order to walk the submissive around, proudly on display.

One of the most popular and indulged in fetishes of BDSM is bondage. The psychological, sensual and sexual enjoyment of restraining another, or being restrained, transcends all gender, sexuality or relationship statuses and orientations and remains popular throughout time. There are, consequentially, a great number of ways to bind another person or to request bondage from your Dominant partner. After all, what fun is bondage if you can escape at any time?

It is unfortunate that the most well known bondage device to the uninitiated remains the novelty metal handcuffs. Cold, non-sensual and at times, thoroughly painful devices, metal handcuffs are not enjoyable when worn for long periods of time. There are so many other bondage options available that, in my opinion, there really is no need to opt for these admittedly budget friendly but regularly painful contraptions.

If you desire the use of wrist cuffs, why not research the more comfortable material forms of bondage cuffs. There are wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs to choose from, so choose your type or get imaginative and use both at the same time. Restraint cuffs can be made from leather, neoprene and other comfortable to the flesh materials, with fastenings ranging from quick release velcro, through to the more durable and sturdy buckle fastenings with lockable options.

With a little research, bondage fans can enjoy the aesthetic and physiological pleasures of Shibari bondage. This Japanese form of bondage really is an art, which merely takes practice and some bondage rope to carry out. Other bondage tools include helpful accessories such as the St Andrew’s Cross, spreader bars, sleep sacks, strait jackets, vacuum beds and many other fun items of bondage furniture with which to restrain your submissive.

What do you do once you have a submissive all trussed up and nowhere to escape to? Corporal punishment is both effective and highly lusted after in the BDSM circle, by both sides of the kink orientation coin. Corporal punishment is, quite simply, the enjoyment of physical punishment to or from another person, consensually, of course.

Spanking is incredibly popular and arousing, clearly defining the Dominant role of one person over another. It serves to heightens the sensation of being submissive, vulnerable and at the mercy of the dominant partner for the one receiving the punishment, playing the role of the ‘bottom’.

You have a huge choice when it comes to different implements and tools which one can use to deliver a sound spanking, or even something more harsh and extreme depending on the nature and arrangement of your BDSM relationship. Corporal punishment and spanking tools range simply from the use of your hand, up through the layers of paddles, floggers, crops, whips and zapping devices, to more extreme implements made from chains or the thrilling and unmistakeable crack of a skilfully wielded bullwhip.

As you travel your personal BDSM journey, you will discover that many submissives harbour a niche fetish as well as enjoying the main, popular routes of control and punishment.

Male chastity is one of the most well known of the niche fetishes, particularly in FemDom and male submission.  Male chastity devices come in all different types of materials, sizes and styles depending on whether the submissive requires a long term or short session style chastity device.

Male chastity devices, often known as ‘cock cages’, are often made from a durable plastic material. These can be used for short-term or long-term use, as they are waterproof so the chastity-loving submissive does not have to remove it to sleep or wash. They can be left on overnight, and with care will last many years. It may take some time to train a submissive to be able to comfortably sleep and live with a chastity device in place, but it is very possible.

Chastity devices can be used either by a male chastity lover alone, or in association with a Dominant, controlling party, known as the Keyholder. The chastity device is locked either by a coded or key padlock, or the use of numbered tags.

Metal chastity devices can be either closed ended or open ended, with some cages even specifically designed to integrate a Prince Albert piercing. There’s simply no excuses! No matter your chastity submissive’s needs, there is a chastity device to fit. Literally.

When it comes to displaying your natural dominance over your submissive there really is an entire world of items out there which can be used to effectively mould your submissive or slave as you see fit.

Each individual is different, both in vanilla life and in BDSM. Therefore, the scope of equipment which can be found is growing all the time in relation to the fetishes of Dominants and submissives. Toilet style thrones, Queening chairs, humbler devices, pony boy and pony girl saddles, trappings and carts, furry fetish play and costumes, sensory deprivation hoods and masks… the list continues as far as, and beyond where your imagination can reach. From the small and portable hog tie to the largest piece of bondage equipment and dungeon furniture, there are fetish tools to fit your deviant fancy.

Whether for practical or humiliation purposes, for use in a session with your submissive alone or in front of an eager audience, there will be a tool fit for the purpose of your special relationship and your mutual desires. It would take an age to cover absolutely every item of BDSM equipment in one article, but hopefully you have enjoyed a glimpse into the world of Fetish Gear Essentials.

Happy shopping and delightful adventures to you all!

 

– Cara Sutra

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