What’s The Big Deal About Foreplay? Why Is Foreplay Important?
By Cara Sutra
Foreplay is any activity designed to provoke the passion, arouse the libido and prepare the mind and body for sex. Foreplay is enjoyable in its own right, as a separate activity to sex and doesn’t always have to ultimately lead to sexual intercourse.
The most commonly held opinion is that foreplay takes place in the bedroom, perhaps just in the 20 – 30 minutes before sex. In reality foreplay can start a long time before sex takes place and definitely isn’t limited to the bedroom location.
Preparing the mind for sex is a hugely important task. Sex should not be simply a case of fitting two body parts together, like a flesh jigsaw. A greater satisfaction and mutual fulfilment will arise from sex, if you are both psychologically in the best place to express this act of intimate bonding, love or lust between you.
Preparing the body is just as important. It doesn’t feel natural, or comfortable, to dive straight into sexual intercourse on a 0-60 in 5 seconds mission. Warming up the body, both metaphorically and in reality, will make those sensual touches feel welcome rather than like a personal invasion.
Who Can Enjoy Foreplay?
Foreplay isn’t limited to or defined by gender, either. Both men and women can benefit from foreplay, as an arousing, preparatory, enjoyable experience.
There are many activities which fall under the broad, sweeping term of ‘Foreplay’. Let’s take a look at a few which you may either be very familiar with, or hadn’t considered before.
How To Foreplay
Head back to the start of your relationship, when you hadn’t had sex with your partner yet. Oh yes, you wanted to. The sexual tension was undeniable; clearly evident by the unapologetic flirting between you.
There is nothing stopping you going back to that fun stage whenever you wish. Sure, you may have been in a sexual relationship with your partner for some time, but flirting is always fun to tease and get you both in the mood. You may even wish to draw out the flirting stage, delaying the ‘big act’ itself to heighten the tension and desire.
Send a few saucy texts, attach a cheeky picture or two. Leave notes around where they are sure to find them. These actions are sowing the seeds in their mind for some truly rampant sex when it finally happens.
Talk about it
Just talking about sex, and what you both want out of it, can be classed as foreplay. It is so easy to leave the act of sexual intimacy purely as an act, one never spoken about, which just happens in the confines of the bedroom and that’s the way it is.
Communication is key in any happy, healthy relationship. This is especially true when it comes to sexual desires and fantasies. Help to bring your and their sexual fantasies to life by daring to broach the subject with them in a conversation outside the bedroom.
As your thoughts turn to what you both want out of sex, you will be preparing your mind for the act itself and feeling the first tendrils of arousal in the process.
Kissing isn’t just for teenagers. Invest some time exploring your partner, your lips to theirs, tongues entwined and desire flaring. Whether you kiss softly and delicately, or wildly and passionately, kissing is a fine way to prepare your mind and body for more.
The health benefits of kissing are many, too. It’s relaxing, it burns calories, boosts your immune system and releases endorphins, the natural ‘happy drug’ for the body and mind.
We are very visual creatures, both men and women, so putting on a show for your partner can be a fantastic way to build their arousal.
For women, this may be investing in some sexy lingerie and surprising your partner with a little catwalk show of your own. Men can treat their partner to a show too… ditch those tired boxers and wow her with some skin tight, revealing underwear.
As your minds and hearts race, you will be counting the seconds until you can peel those beautiful garments from your partner and show them just how arousing they are.
Erotic literature does not start and end with Fifty Shades of Grey. There is a whole world of erotica out there, written by skilled and talented erotic authors, designed to fire up the mind and stimulate that libido into action.
Erotic books are not the sole domain of women. Read portions of an erotic book out loud to each other and enjoy the new ideas presented. Afterwards you can make the scene your very own bedroom reality.
Play a game
There are many sexy adult games which are designed to help couples discover new desires and form an easier way to bring those to the fore without having to confront them directly by conversation. Board games and card games with couples or adventurous groups in mind are an exciting way to play and enjoy foreplay together.
The most popular adult board game is Monogamy, but there are many others out there to try too.
Watch something sexy
From a romantic film to hardcore porn, there is something sexy and visual available to suit everyone’s tastes. Watching other people having sex will naturally stimulate your own desire, so slip something saucy in the DVD player and curl up together – it won’t take long for the clothes to come off and the sexy time to begin!
Touching each other in either a purely relaxing, or a sensual way, will awaken the libido and prepare you for intense sexual pleasure at a speed you’re both comfortable with.
Note that massage can be just as much classed as foreplay as erotic massage. You don’t have to focus on the sexual areas or erogenous zones of your partner, you can enjoy the closeness, the intimacy during massage simply by giving or receiving soothing skin to skin contact wherever it may be.
This contact between you can be aided by the use of a good quality massage oil or investing in a massage candle. Massage candles help set an evocative, relaxing environment thanks to the low lighting, as well as melting to a body safe temperature massage oil which is then drizzled on your partner’s skin for a luxurious, gliding massage.
Try some roleplay
The level of roleplay you are happy engaging in will be down to your sexual preferences, your self-consciousness and how daring you wish to get.
Roleplay is another broad term. It could mean just taking the role of a saucy secretary or naughty nurse during sexual play, or you could buy one of the many sexy costumes for adult dress up sessions before sex.
If you or your partner has expressed a desire to sample some Dominance or submission, having some sensual, comfortable handcuffs around, a collar, flogger or paddle can help to explore this territory too. There are many different types of cheap & low priced bondage sex toys to sample. Power exchange, the act of handing over control to a partner, can be incredibly arousing and fulfilling.
Dance for them
Burlesque is very popular and is a form of striptease – with more tassels. There are many burlesque inspired pieces of lingerie available to buy and putting on a private dance or show for your partner can inspire wicked thoughts in their mind and get you both in the mood.
He can become your Dream Boy for the night too – stripping with the use of some specially designed stripper underwear for him is sure to get you hot and flustered. You will barely be able to keep your hands off!
Foreplay, whether planned to the finest detail or improvised in the moment, will bond you in new ways and make you feel closer to each other than ever before. These intimate acts, ranging from activities you can do in public, to those definitely for behind closed doors, show your partner you truly care enough about them to try something new and to fulfil all their previously hidden desires.
Which ones will you be putting into action? Are there any you haven’t yet tried?
Make time for foreplay and enjoy discovering a better sex life together.
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