The best foreplay begins in the mind

turn her on by textingLet me share with you a little secret: you can have the best tongue, hand, body motion sexual techniques in all the world, but if I’m not mentally receptive, it ain’t happening.

I read so many so called ‘sexpert’ posts out there about  ‘Rub her clitoris perfectly!’, ‘Lick her to high heaven tonight’, ‘Give a blow job he’ll never forget’ and the like, but there’s something everyone is forgetting.

You have to be in the mood.

How do you get a woman in the mood? Well I know what works for me. Men have psychological needs too, but I am mainly talking about women here, because, hey. I’m a woman.

Now, I am not the world’s most normal woman, I am aware of this. However, I happen to think that the extra effort is worth it.

Foreplay is purported to be something that happens once you get into the bedroom. Into the bed, even. It isn’t.

Foreplay can begin at any time of the day. You could be sat at your work desk while your partner is at home. You might be in the shower, thinking of ways to tease them the next time you speak. It might just be an extra kinky suggestion on the end of that text. You know the ones I mean; you type them out, press send and squeeze your eyes closed pretending you didn’t.

If you find roleplay something that your mind strays to, but something you’d never dare bring up out loud, why not try it over MSN or other instant messenger?

It is only when a woman is actually excited that she will be amenable to physical connection. No pouncing and rubbing. Gently simmer those suggestive juices all day, relish the anticipation and the wait.

I think these facts are all too easily forgotten, especially in a commercial climate, where ‘Fantastic Massage Oil X’ is being sold to you along with the top ten ways to lick his frenulum, or ‘insert 50 Shades of Grey item here’ to rock her kinky boat and make her love you more than some millionaire with his own helicopter.

Do you agree? Does the best foreplay begin in the mind for you? Leave a comment below.


  1. My husband told me when we were just friends still that foreplay starts 24 hours before he even touches her. I am lucky woman in that I married a man that understood that concept. Take my mind, and the body is the easy part.

  2. I love the “I want to do ‘x, y and z’ to you later” texts. Even if y and z don’t happen, your brain’s in the right place for x…

    • I edited it for you 😉

      Thanks for the comment. I love when people give feedback to my articles and appreciate them, means a lot. So thank you 🙂 xx

  3. Any one can provide the physical. Provide a mental orgasm (keep me engaged mentally, keep me thinking…) and you’ve got it in the bag!

  4. Yes I agree that there is nothing wrong with sending a graphic text of your thoughts and wanting to do to that special one,it makes the relationship more fun as so do photo with graphic texts and 60secs video filmings to get the whole turning ready for pouncing when in your company, xx

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