Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-Age

When I was younger, I thought sex was strictly reserved for the young. People in their 40s, 50s, 60s and older having sex? Talk to the hand! Time marches on for all of us though, and as I approach my mid-40s myself I have to admit that I was totally wrong. Not only do I still have a strong libido and active love life, there are various unexpected benefits to a regular sex life in middle-age as well.

Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-Age

Although plenty of things about our bodies, and attitudes, change as we get older, it doesn’t mean people necessarily stop being interested in or having sex. A 2017 study from Trinity College discovered that almost 60% of over 50s are sexually active, with 69% of those people being sexually active either weekly or monthly. A third were happy to report a tangle between the sheets at least three times a week.

These middle-age sex findings will partly be due to more people beginning new relationships as they get older, and having plenty of sex in the ‘honeymoon phase’. Those in their mid-years now are also more health conscious than similarly aged folk in previous decades, so they are fitter and healthier. Either way, this is great news for those who want to continue enjoying an intimate relationship with their partners as they get older. However, even though the regularity of middle-aged sex is pretty much the same as those in their 20s, there are a few sexual health issues to bear in mind.

Middle-Aged Sex Can Be As Good As (Or Better Than) In Your 20s

Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-AgeNow I’m older, I have more sexual experience than I did in my 20s. Not only does greater experience lead to a better, more fulfilling sex life, but I have more body confidence as well. It’s a difficult one to explain. My body was firmer, slimmer, had less stretch-marks and ‘signs of life’ and my boobs were definitely perkier back then – before breastfeeding, gravity and age took their toll. Perhaps I’ve simply run out of fucks to give. Whatever the cause, I have less body hang-ups during sex with my partner now, approaching my mid-40s, than I did in my early 20s.

Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-AgeAs a bonus, regular sex helps blood flow to the vulva and vagina, keeping the area nicely toned and healthy.

People in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who are beginning new relationships often find other worries disappearing too, leaving them to simply enjoy great sex. It might be no longer having to worry about the risk of pregnancy, or the fact you’ve got your house to yourselves. Middle-age and the golden years to come present the perfect opportunity for a sexual reawakening.

Safe Sex Is Still Top Priority

The ‘swinging’ 1960s and ‘free love’ 1970s saw plenty of changes in the way people viewed and enjoyed sex. This sexual revolution saw ‘knocking boots’ becoming normalised in Alexander Comforts book The Joy of Sex, and young people of the times began indulging in their new-found sexual freedom. However, for many people coming out of long term relationships in the 2000’s, it’s worth mentioning that sexual landscapes have changed.

Sexually transmitted infections amongst the over 50s is at an all-time high. The reason for this increase in STIs may be down to a lack of education about safe sex methods and an increase in older generations using online dating sites.  It may be tempting to believe that STIs only affect young people, but this really isn’t the case.

Using condoms or other appropriate barrier method (ie. dental dams for oral sex/anal rimming) is the most effective way to protect you from sexually transmitted infections. Even if you use barrier methods of protection during sexual activities you should book regular sexual health screenings at your local genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic to ensure that you stay in optimum health. For those who believe that they may have contracted an STI and require screening, many GUM clinics have a confidential walk in service. To find your nearest sexual health clinic, enter your postcode into the NHS Choices website (UK) or ZIP Code at the CDC website (USA).

Does Menopause Signal The End Of Your Sex Life?

Approaching and going through the menopause can be a difficult time physically, emotionally and hormonally. People may find that these difficulties extend to their libido and, consequentially, their sex life.

During and post-menopause you may experience vaginal dryness, which can make vaginal penetration (via penis or sex toys) uncomfortable or even painful. There are a few steps you can take to minimise and even eliminate this discomfort.

  • Avoid using perfumed products such as sprays, soaps and shower gels in & around the vaginal area
  • Do not use vaginal douches, they are not required. Vaginal douching can make you even drier, they remove healthy, protective bacteria, and they upset your delicate, natural pH balance
  • Try vaginal dilators if you begin to find vaginal penetration via penis or your regular sex toys uncomfortable. Find out more in my related guide to vaginismus & vaginal tightness.
  • Use a great quality, vaginal-specific moisturiser to keep the area nourished
  • Invest in a vagina-friendly lubricant to use during solo or partnered sexual activity

I strongly recommend YES Organic Lubes for vagina-friendly moisturisers and lubricants (visit them directly at www.yesyesyes.org). If problems persist, please talk to your GP about other options available.

Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-Age

Get more information about sex and the menopause at lloydspharmacy.com and www.menopause.org.

Using Sex Toys To Spice Up Midlife Sex

Sex toys are a fantastic way to spice up sex at any time of life, including your middle-age love life. Not only do they offer something novel and different in the bedroom, sex toys can often be tools to help combat common sexual issues, especially as we get older.

Fleshlight Pink Lady Stamina Training Unit STU ReviewFor example: if there are premature ejaculation issues, using a penis extender sleeve during PiV or anal sex can lessen the sensation felt by the penis-owner, leading to a longer lasting sex session for both. Some of these extenders have stimulating nodules on the outside, delivering a thrilling new sensation.

Or you may like to consider the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit, an incredibly popular penis masturbator designed to ‘train’ the penis to last longer during actual partnered sex (& plenty of fun training sessions in between!). There are also plenty of delay sprays and creams, as well as Viagra-style herbal supplements which some have reported success using. Find out more in my related feature: Does Viagra Work? What About Spanish Fly And Cheap Sex Supplements?

Experiencing weak erections? Try a cock ring, designed to offer penis-owners the pleasure of a firm grip, as well as tantalising restriction which encourages a firmer, longer lasting erection. Hot Octopuss sex toys (buy yours at hotoctopuss.com) are famously effective and inclusive, offering penis stimulators which are able to be used from flaccid and even hands-free.

Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-AgePerhaps you’re finding that your previous favourite vibrator just isn’t doing it for you any more. You might require more power. Discover the most powerful vibrators available in my related feature – and try going from your regular battery-operated bullet or low-power ladyfinger vibe to a Zumio or Doxy Wand Vibrator.

Changing up from your usual sex toy can also reveal that you may now respond better to a different style of stimulation. If you’ve always been a classic vibrator or rabbit vibe fan, try something new with a clitoral vibrator, or a vibrating anal plug – whether during masturbation or sex with your partner.

Regular Sex In Middle-Age Is Good For Your Health

Sex, including middle-age sex, helps to improve heart health, lowers your blood pressure and releases those feel-good hormones, endorphins, which act as a natural painkiller. Studies have also shown that regularly having sex in midlife can make you look on average five to seven years younger than those who rarely have sex. However, fatigue and stress in our everyday lives means that sexual desire can be difficult to conjure. Making sure you get plenty of sleep, invest time in mindfulness & self-care as well as your overall health will not only boost your libido, but help you to look and feel sexier too.

Benefits Of A Regular Sex Life In Middle-Age

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