Elite bloggers and why they suck

arrogant snobby blogger girlIt seems to be a week for noticing trends. Well here’s another one: some bloggers seem to think they are the cream of the crop. It isn’t only that they think they are part of some divine blogging chorus, but also that this misguided thought leads them to either ignore other bloggers completely, or treat them with disdain and contempt.

How utterly abhorrent.

This doesn’t seem to be restricted to any one type of blogging category either. Beauty bloggers, fashion bloggers, sex toy reviewers, erotica writers, sex bloggers and kink bloggers; there are those who have their heads up their own asses far too much in every one of those.

Are you an elite blogger? Do you blog professionally? Do you have a large audience? Do you vainly ignore mentions from, or comments from, who you regard as the ‘little bloggers’?

Well I have a few words to say to you.

Everyone starts somewhere.

Remember how your blog or web space started? In all likelihood you started writing a journal, or a blog, because you’d found a subject you were interested in. It becomes a hobby.

Over time, you might happen upon a forum of likeminded people who also blog about similar things. Or, you may discover there is a whole blogosphere for people like you. Hurray!

The excitement of blogging ramps up to another level and you excitedly make friends within this group. You may ask many questions about your blog, search for tips and blogging techniques, see how the successful bloggers work and even approach them for help.

Sound familiar yet?

If you are fortunate enough, or have worked hard enough, to reach a level of blogging where you have a large audience, great traffic and a web presence, please don’t go and ruin it by being a dick.

Something I particularly despise is when beginner bloggers are turned away by more seasoned bloggers, who make out they aren’t worth the time of day. Not only this, but I have heard of bloggers even discouraging people from writing on their blogs, criticising their work over the choice of a word, or because they felt their writing wasn’t up to scratch.

Who the hell do you think you are?

That’s not your blog, you have your own blog. Guide, kindly and compassionately. If you feel so threatened and insecure about other bloggers then perhaps you should look at the quality and standard of your own blog and writing, then adapt your work to fit with your own standards.

I’ve been very lucky in that my two partners have helped me move over the past 3 years from amateur blogger to a professional blogging platform. Yes, I write the words, but knowledge of how the web works and also site design is important too. I am not so stupid as to not recognise the great advantage this has given me and I will always appreciate that.

However, I try to reply to every mention through whichever medium on the internet with courtesy, no matter who the comment, question or chat is from. If you ask me for advice, I will do my best to sincerely help you.

This trend for an ‘elite’ class of bloggers is quite frankly, ridiculous, rude, upsetting and unnecessary.

Stop with the arrogance!



  1. Great post. I’ve seen a lot of snobbery lately, and I am one of the “noobs”. I am glad to see someone telling it like it is!

      • You replied quick! 🙂 I’m just trying to bring a male perspective to things, instead of just talking about porn stars and how big my dick is… I think I’m doing okay.

  2. I truly agree with you! No one wanted to help me out when I started, and I always try to help out the newer sex bloggers when they contact me. Part of having a blog is being accessible. The blog snobs can suck on hairy balls.

    • Completely hit it on the head there! This is meant to all be a network, not just one ruling over others. They can suck on big fat hairy monkey balls, indeed. x

  3. Oh, thank you! I have the same thoughts and have been the victim of the “Elites” I have been told that I should change my review, that my tweet shortening is “less than” and so on. I tend to stay away from the know it all’s!

    • Not a problem, I have heard so many terrible tales of elite bloggers trying to push out the new or the inexperienced or even bloggers who (gasp) blog as a hobby. Makes me sick!

  4. I haven’t encountered this in the sex blogging community, thank goodness. I’ve been very lucky in that every blogger I’ve encountered is very considerate and supportive.
    However, the military community in general, and the milblogging community, are very clique-ish. Rank, years, service branch for some reason spouses grasp at and decide their social life. Milblogging is just silent crickets for the most parts, with the same high school drama negativity otherwise. Only a few rise above that, and those keep to themselves to point of not reaching out and helping others. At least that’s been my experience.

  5. What a great post, I have been the victim of quite a few of these elite bloggers over the last 3 years of blogging. Even to the point of being told my whole way of writing and taking photos is wrong.
    When I first got a few of these I almost believed them, but I’ve stood my ground and now I’m writing professionally and so busy I cant keep up, so obviously all the companies and my amazing followers and friends like it.
    So I have to say to all those who have had this so called “advice” from other bloggers is to carry on as you are. The whole idea of a blog is that its part of you, not anyone else, dont change to the ways of another blogger because they say its right.
    A blog is about having your own personality stamp on it, thats what makes it interesting to others.
    Cara Im so pleased you have brought this to the forefront, It can very intimidating when you first start; but luckily I have met many more great supportive bloggers like yourself; than bad ones and it would be awful to lose some great new bloggers out there because their too nervous to go it their own way.

    Yay for stampy pants!!

  6. Love this post Cara! You’re so in saying everyone starts somewhere, and there’s no need to be a dick when a newbie blogger reaches out.
    It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice!

  7. As a new blogger, I have already made quite a few mistakes that more experienced bloggers would shake their heads at.

    All I can say is, I ought to have read some of Cara’s (and other’s) posts sooner, and before I started my blog. But hey, without mistakes we wouldn’t learn.

    Perhaps my biggest mistake has been keeping to myself too much. This is largely because I’m a fairly ‘reserved’ person. I do recognise the value of interacting with other bloggers more though, and the readers who want to discuss stuff about sex toys / other topics I write about.

    Thank you for sharing your insight and advice with us here Cara, and thank you to all the other bloggers who offer help to less experienced ones like myself.

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