Why Is Erotic Massage So Popular?
By Cara Sutra
The main draw of erotic massage is that it allows you and your partner the freedom to explore one another’s bodies without pressure from either side to have penetrative sex. If erotic massage happens to turn into foreplay leading to mutually desired sex, that’s great. If not, you have indulged in a sensual and enjoyable skin to skin experience that bonds you to another person in a different, yet still close and intimate, way.
There are a few ways in which you may choose to experience the delights of erotic massage.
A low lit room which is comfortably warm is recommended. Standard candles are often favoured as being the props of the most romantic. However, even a low watt bulb in a bedside lamp, or the lowest setting on the dimmer to overhead light can work. It’s better than the harsh glare of a 100w bulb beating down upon your bodies. Bright light can interfere with your attempts to be more body confident. It can also restrict how open you are feeling with your partner physically, something that erotic massage hopes to defeat.
Simply feeling your partner’s hands on your body can be soothing and relaxing. Remember that there should be no pressure to have actual sex, from either partner. Enjoy falling under the spell of your partner as they trace patterns over your flesh, whether you are semi clothed, in sexy lingerie or completely naked.
Erotic massage is for the benefit of both partners. Always ensure you are within your comfort zone and within the consent parameters of your partner too. If you aren’t happy with an activity, or the direction you are being taken in, don’t be afraid to stop. Move on to something different that does make you feel happy and comfortable, even if it is to completely stop wherever you are at.
Take turns with one another, soothing and relaxing. You don’t have to be a qualified masseur or masseuse – your partner will surely love feeling your hands on them as much as you enjoy feeling their hands on you! Keep in mind what feels good on your skin and where, then try to reciprocate. Learn from their reactions and encourage them to tell you what’s fantastic – but also what’s not so good.
Communication as ever, is key. Tactful communication!
When you feel ready to bring something else to the erotic massage sessions you and your partner enjoy, you may wish to consider a massage candle. A superb creation, the massage candle not only serves as the low light setting for your relaxing activity, it also provides the massage oil that you can enjoy upon your body and also using on your partner.
It is advised that you are naked when using a massage candle. This means you won’t get oil on any of your clothing or underwear. You can choose to be careful on the bed, or put down old towels or old sheets before you begin.
Massage candles need to burn for a little while before the oil is realised. There will be instructions given on each type of candle, how long it needs to burn before it has melted enough to use for massage. The standard time is 20-30 minutes burning as a candle, before you can drizzle it. As massage candles are labelled as ‘body safe’, you can either pour some into your palm before using on your partner’s body, or drizzle it directly on to them.
Some of the most effective and luxurious erotic massage candles you can buy are the Jimmyjane Afterglow candles (my favourite) and the LELO massage candles. These luxurious massage candles don’t leave any residue on your skin, meaning you can drift off blissfully and wake soft and smooth, instead of greasy and in need of a shower!
Follow your learned exercises from when you were at the ‘hands on’ skin to skin stage and let the frictionless warmth bring you closer together. Enjoy the harmony between you as your hands glide effortlessly over their skin.
Tickle and Tease
Erotic massage doesn’t have to be with your hands. You could use sensory play toys to give your partner new sensations. A large body feather can be used to give precise stimulation to the flesh, particularly the erogenous zones (nipples, clitoris, labia, bottom etc) or you could wear a feather boa scarf and tease them with the ends. If you have long hair, why not incorporate that into your erotic massage session and let it trail over their back as you straddle them? Then turn them over and repeat for a highly arousing experience you will both enjoy.
Physical stimulation is heightened when vision is removed, so a blindfold is a great accessory to erotic massage. Plunged into darkness, your partner will have no choice but to trust you; anticipating your next move on their skin and enjoying that sensation when it comes even more.
For some, experimenting with bondage sex toys opens up a new world of physical enjoyment. The only way to find out is to try! You don’t have to be a latex and gimp mask clad dungeon-goer to like being tied up and/or scratched and bitten. The rules are only decided by whatever works best for you and your partner’s relationship and personal preferences.
The lightest way to experiment with bondage in erotic massage is to lightly tie their wrists together using bondage rope or bondage tape. This way, they aren’t actually fixed to anything like the bed or other furniture. However, they can still experience the restricted sensation as you use your hands over their body.
The LELO Sutra Cuffs are a luxurious and sensual introduction to bondage, while presented in stunning packaging and made from top quality, long lasting materials. I have these in purple and they are just beautiful.
Pain For Pleasure
The thought of digging your nails into his back turning you on? How about those little bites to the neck in a passionate moment? Teeth nipping lips during a long, intimate kiss?
You probably haven’t considered those things to be an introduction to pain in erotic massage. The truth of the matter is, we have nerve endings in our flesh and one way to arouse those is through pain. I believe pain and pleasure to be on the same spectrum; however you enjoy this spectrum is down to you. You could use teeth and nails but please communicate limits with each other clearly. You may wish to invest in a soft flogger which can be used to inflict little blush raising slaps to the skin. Also, the many tails can be used in the ‘tickle and tease’ area of erotic massage. This is great if you decide that harsher pain isn’t for you.
Enhance Couple’s Intimacy
As you can see, erotic massage is a brilliant tool for enhancing your time together as a couple. There’s no rush towards and pressure for penetrative sex. Use this time wisely to find out about your partner’s body. You can discover what turns them on, which areas they like touched and which parts they don’t. Use the knowledge you gain during erotic massage to make the times you do have sex even better.
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