Anorgasmia – I’ve Never Had An Orgasm, Help
Q: I really hope you’re able to give me some advice. I’m almost 30 and I have never had an orgasm. Sometimes I feel like I might be getting close, but then it starts to feel uncomfortable and I have to stop. I’ve masturbated since I was a teenager and I have regular sex, but still nothing! Please help!
A: There are a lot of different reasons a man or woman might suffer from anorgasmia, or the inability to reach orgasm. Physiology, biochemistry, psychological issues and age are all attributed to anorgasmia and it’s a condition more commonly found in women than in men. Treatment for men with anorgasmia is much further advanced than it is for women and is often associated with erectile dysfunction.
There is some dispute as to whether anorgasmia is a treatable condition, or whether it is something simply overcome by the individual. It’s difficult to tell if sufferers have a biological cause or if there’s something else causing problems.
If you want to break your inorgasmic / anorgasmic streak, then spending time trying new ways to pleasure yourself could give you the results you crave. You mention that you start to feel uncomfortable during stimulation and need to stop, so it might be that you become overly sensitive, potentially from stimulation that is too firm or because you’re continuously stimulating one area for a long period of time. Experimenting with different techniques when you masturbate should help you find out what makes you tick.
Try using extra lube during foreplay and masturbation to enhance sensations, often a more slippery and wet stimulation can escalate your orgasmic response. Vibrators are wonderful tools for both clitoral and G-spot stimulation, providing a more rigorous stimulation than you’re able to create with your hands. If you’ve read anything about ‘hysteria’ (a lack of sexual satisfaction or sexual frustration), you’ll have heard stories of doctors manually stimulating women to cure the ailment and that the invention of vibrators was a time-saving project to quicken the process.
Taking time to get to know your body and how it responds to different stimulation will help you decide if you require professional help from a sexual therapist or doctor. Anorgasmia is not always clear cut and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about seeking guidance from a medical professional if you think it could improve your sex life.
[This question was posed by a woman and is therefore geared towards female anorgasmia. The fundamental principal of experimenting with stimulation is the same for men and women, and there is help and advice for both men and women experiencing this issue.]
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