How do I find a girl to satisfy my bi-curious desires?

Dear Cara,

How can I find a girl to be intimate with? I am a shy lady, in late twenties and only just coming to terms with the fact I am bi-curious/bisexual. I fantasise about being with a woman but have no clue where to start looking or how to hook up! Please help.

Hello and thanks for your question.

I have been in a similar situation. When in a past relationship with a man, although I had experience with girls previously, I wasn’t able to enjoy intimacy with a girl for a long time. When my man finally came round to the idea that I could be with him and also explore a relationship (either long term or one night only) with a girl, I didn’t know where to start looking or how to meet a girl who would be interested.

Speaking with many women online, it is quite a common fantasy or desire to be intimate with another girl, or at least try it out. This is true of women who are already in a relationship with a man as well as those who are single. Just because they want to have sex with a girl, doesn’t mean they necessarily want a threesome, as many guys out there often assume. Intimacy between two women is very different from a threesome with a man (or anyone else) involved.

So how do you go about finding a suitable girl? Well online is great in this respect. It offers a place where you can say what’ really on your mind without the self consciousness of real life. You are in a comfortable environment already (usually your own home) and you don’t even have to get out of your PJs if you don’t want.

I have found social networks such as Twitter and Facebook to be great avenues for finding open minded women who are bisexual or bi-curious, as well as adult themed forums such as those on sex toy shops or indeed on my own forum.

Local community sites can provide opportunities for potential future meet-ups, such as Gumtree, in the adult/lonely heart sections. Often, just stating on your own profile that you are bisexual or bi-curious will engender interest in you from other women, if they are the same way. OK Cupid is another site which offers a free way of accessing thousands of profiles online.

These websites also have apps which you can utilise from your iPhone or Android device, for searching on the go.

In the end though, I found the most success from just being honest with girls I spoke to online, brushing up my flirting skills, bluffing huge amounts of confidence (but not too much, arrogance isn’t attractive!) and offering the chance to meet up ‘just as friends’ first for either a coffee or a couple of drinks of an evening.

There will always be an element of nerves involved, it’s only natural!

However, in time hopefully you will meet the right girl for you and your desires – whether it is a long term relationship or just a night of intimate and passionate, sexy fun.

Good luck.





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