Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube Review
By Pleasure Panel reviewer Meitiman
I’m generally a pretty fair judge of items I’m reviewing. I like to examine the product for what it is and not let outside opinions or my own prejudices impact how a product performs. With all of that in mind, it’s very surprising to me that I am rating this Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube so poorly, but I feel it is deserved. Let’s take a closer look at my reasons.
This anal lubricant is labelled as a premium lube by Swiss Navy and is silicone-based. Silicone lubes typically are made to provide long-lasting lubrication without needing to reapply frequently and are usually great for in wet environments, such as the shower or tub, as they don’t wash off from coming into contact with moisture. They typically wash off with soap and water and some even leave your skin feeling smooth and moisturised. A word of caution, though. It’s usually a good idea to spot test a little of the silicone lube on your toy somewhere (such as the base) if it’s silicone as well. Sometimes two different types of silicone can interact poorly and can lead to damage of the toy.
Since anal play is one of my favourite activities, I’m no stranger to a good quality lubricant. A good anal lube can really make or break your playtime. Unfortunately, Swiss Navy definitely missed the mark with their Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube.
The first problem with this lube was obvious as soon as I removed the safety seal; the smell. I can’t even imagine what kind of smell the company was going for, if they thought about it at all, but it’s safe to say they didn’t find it. This lube has a very strong chemical smell and it’s unlike any other lube I’ve experienced (that’s not a good thing). There’s no suggestions from Swiss Navy that this lube is supposed to smell or taste like any specific scent/flavor, so I’m not expecting roses, but this chemical smell is definitely the worst smelling lube I’ve encountered. It’s definitely off-putting to me and I imagine it will be to most people.
Speaking of taste, steer clear of this one. Again, the Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube isn’t labelled to suggest it has a good taste so it’s not like Swiss Navy is misleading consumers or anything like that, but sex is, well, sex. If you’re applying this lube with your hand, you’re likely to touch skin afterwards and there’s a good chance you or your partner will be tasting the lube at least a little.
Even with how bad this product smelled, I didn’t feel I would be doing my due diligence if I didn’t sample the taste as well. I put a dab on my finger and proceeded to subject my taste buds to the cruellest form of torture they’ve experienced yet. Seriously, they still haven’t forgiven me yet. I wasn’t expecting vanilla ice cream, but the chemical taste is pretty much as bad as the smell. I would not use this lube in the future just from the fear that I may somehow end up tasting some of it and would have to stop the fun just to go rinse my mouth out with mouthwash. Definitely a mood-killer.
Does the Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube actually come through on the basic intention it was designed for? Eh, not so much. I used it in the shower since that is my typical location when playing with anal toys, and it was just OK at best. It helped with lubrication a little, but not enough for anal use. There was definitely a lot of friction no matter how much I tried to use.
The consistency is pretty runny and I don’t feel like it stays on the toy well enough, but I also just feel like the lube isn’t as premium as Swiss Navy suggests. I was using it out of direct splash distance of the shower stream, but it still seems like the product was mostly running off the toy at even the slightest contact with water drops. Well I say running off, because while there was a lot of friction with the toy during use, the shower floor was very slippery and made it hard to get good footing due to the lube washing on to it. I felt like regardless of how much I applied, the results remained the same.
Worse yet, you aren’t left with the nice moisturised skin feeling that you get with actual premium lubes from companies like Jo. This lube left my skin feeling almost greasy and the shower floor is still slippery days later. I’m not sure how it could work so well on the floor or my skin, but just not working on my toy. It could be that this just doesn’t work well with silicone-type toys. Maybe a hard plastic vibrator would work much better, but I primarily use silicone-type toys and couldn’t really test this out.
Regardless of whether the Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube would work better with plastic toys or not, I simply can’t think of a situation where I would recommend this product for. Even if you didn’t have to suffer the horrible taste, the smell is enough to ruin any ambience you have going. The point of products like lubrication is to improve or add something to your sex sessions and this one works against that. I don’t need it to taste like vanilla or smell sweet, but I don’t want to use a lube that is going to take me out of the moment and this lube definitely does.
Even if I could get beyond those problems, it’s just an OK lube. It didn’t provide the smoothness needed for anal play and you shouldn’t have to look so hard for positives if you’re going to label your lube as a premium product. I couldn’t recommend it to anyone and I won’t be using it any further as it currently is. I wanted to like it, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Thanks to Pleasure Panel reviewer Meitiman for this review of the Swiss Navy Silicone Anal Lube (29.5ml bottle).
You can currently buy 6 mini bottles of Swiss Navy lube here at Clonezone for £9.99.
These lubes were sent free of charge, in exchange for a fair and honest review by the Pleasure Panel, by Clonezone. Thank you! 🙂
This review does not contain any affiliate links.