As a woman, I'm regularly dictated to about how I should look. The media tells me I shouldn't be bigger than a size 10, that I should have large breasts but somehow maintain a narrow waist, that my arse should be high and firm, small and round, and I should be the correct amount of tanned at all times.
Working in the adult industry I see my fair share of explicit photos. Dick pics: amateur and porn star. Naked breasts: pendulous to Parisienne. Spread vulva: hairless to hirsute. I follow blogs and social media where imagery from artistic nudes to hardcore porn are welcomed, celebrated and shared. So why do some explicit photos anger me so much? Well sometimes, explicit photos are a breach of consent.
Working in the sex industry, I've recently heard the term orgasm gap a number of times in blog posts, on social media and in press emails to me. What is this orgasm gap? Why is the spotlight on it now? And why do I believe there are dangers associated with it?
A disgusting sex practice has come to my attention in the past few days – and I’m not talking about whatever you can find in so-called weird porn. No, I mean properly disgusting. The practice known as stealthing. I’m so angry I can barely type.
By Cara Sutra: It’s International Women’s Day and I’m an angry woman. I’m also a nasty woman, but that’s another story for another day. Why am I angry? Well… I’m certainly angry about the injustices, censorship and abuse women around the world still face despite the fact that we’re well into the 21st century.
By Cara Sutra: On January 21st 2017, 5 million women around the world marched as a form of protest. To be heard, to be listened to, to be respected. They marched for their lacking rights and for global equality. It wasn't only women marching either, there were persons of all genders and identities.
By Cara Sutra: What a year 2016 has been. Personally, it’s been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions, running the gamut from the crushing depths of anxiety to dizzying relief, contentment and happiness. And that’s just in our little family. I know plenty of people who have had an extra challenging 2016 – some have had a truly terrible year – and then there’s the shocking and at times, depressing world events. Ugh, politics. Ugh, celebrity deaths. Ugh, 2016. Goodbye, and thanks for all the tears.
By Cara Sutra: I believe we all know people that we genuinely like – but wow, their social media updates really push our buttons. I know I do. And if you’re thinking it’s you, it’s probably not you. I’m talking about people who seem to spend the majority of their time venting on social media. It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s Twitter, Facebook or any other social media (does anyone even bother putting text updates on any other social media platform?) – their feed is just vent after wail after whinge after whine.
By Cara Sutra: Shocked. Devastated. Emotionally drained. Physically wiped-out. Like many other people, I’m feeling the effects of a particularly grim year. We’ve lost so many creative, courageous and inspiring people from the world of media and the arts. The world barely has time to move on from one catastrophic happening before another tragedy, natural or man-made, strikes, bringing death but also terror and fear-inspired divisions among those left alive.
By Cara Sutra: Cancer has not only affected my own close family, but also the lives of many friends. It’s an evil beast – completely dispassionate and non-discriminatory about who it strikes, when, and how. Cancer awareness months seem, on the face of it, a great idea. I feel they have a limited benefit though. Unless you also donate.
By Cara Sutra: Inexplicably, when you’re freelance/run your own business/work from home/work in a creative niche such as professional blogging, copywriting or marketing, some businesses feel that paying you for your work is just an option, not a requirement. Requesting payment for skilled creative work such as marketing and copywriting can give rise to attitudes anywhere from surprise and reluctance, to offence and flat refusal.
By Cara Sutra: It’s ridiculously ironic that the first time the world at large heard about LELO’s newest product, it was on April 1st. It’s just a shame the news wasn't also outed as an April Fools that day, so we could all have a laugh and applaud LELO's sense of humour over the LELO HEX.
By Cara Sutra: I don't have a kink for pretending to be a dog. I'm not even a 'dog person'. However, the national furore surrounding people who want to be a human puppy this week really made my hackles rise. The cause of the outrage? TV shows giving an insight into the puppy play scene and/or fetish, including a Channel 4 documentary entitled The Secret Life Of The Human Pups.
By Cara Sutra: There's a particularly stomach-churning part of the internet which insists on foisting sexy roleplay on to others while completely bypassing the need for consent or even an ounce of interest from the other party. Without turning it into a gender war, this does majorly seem to be men viewing unsolicited sexy roleplay as a way to 'pull' women on the internet.
By Cara Sutra: Can the world please stop caring so damn much about what (supposedly) all men do? Or what all men think? And how, all these things that ALL MEN DO! Or ALL MEN THINK! are immediate and obvious signs that you, as a woman, are unattractive/unloved/neglected/totally shit in bed and should go and live under a rock with only a masturbatory twig for company?
Yep, because apparently Michigan USA need this pointing out. You'd think the differences between consensual human fuckery, in all it's beautiful and kinky forms, and fucking animals, which cannot be consensual, would be patently obvious to anyone. Apparently not in Michigan, where a bill is being put forwards (SB19) which could lead to the outlawing of not just sex with dogs & animals, but also consensual anal sex and oral sex between adult humans. Grouped together as one and the same motion.
As there seems to be some mystery surrounding how to publish something from someone’s (my) blog without them (me) being annoyed about it and shouting 'content theft!', I thought I'd write about how anyone can put my content on their site and be assured I will have a smiley face, not that frowny-faced ‘take it down immediately or imma DMCA your ass’ look quite a few companies have left me with lately.
By Cara Sutra: I'm not talking about the bed, although the subject of this post could also be a breeding ground. Real feel penetrable sex toys. Is it out of the question entirely for adult product manufacturers to make a non-porous real-feel sex toy?