By Cara Sutra: Shocked. Devastated. Emotionally drained. Physically wiped-out. Like many other people, I’m feeling the effects of a particularly grim year. We’ve lost so many creative, courageous and inspiring people from the world of media and the arts. The world barely has time to move on from one catastrophic happening before another tragedy, natural or man-made, strikes, bringing death but also terror and fear-inspired divisions among those left alive.
By Cara Sutra: Cancer has not only affected my own close family, but also the lives of many friends. It’s an evil beast – completely dispassionate and non-discriminatory about who it strikes, when, and how. Cancer awareness months seem, on the face of it, a great idea. I feel they have a limited benefit though. Unless you also donate.
By Cara Sutra: Inexplicably, when you’re freelance/run your own business/work from home/work in a creative niche such as professional blogging, copywriting or marketing, some businesses feel that paying you for your work is just an option, not a requirement. Requesting payment for skilled creative work such as marketing and copywriting can give rise to attitudes anywhere from surprise and reluctance, to offence and flat refusal.
By Cara Sutra: It’s ridiculously ironic that the first time the world at large heard about LELO’s newest product, it was on April 1st. It’s just a shame the news wasn't also outed as an April Fools that day, so we could all have a laugh and applaud LELO's sense of humour over the LELO HEX.
By Cara Sutra: I don't have a kink for pretending to be a dog. I'm not even a 'dog person'. However, the national furore surrounding people who want to be a human puppy this week really made my hackles rise. The cause of the outrage? TV shows giving an insight into the puppy play scene and/or fetish, including a Channel 4 documentary entitled The Secret Life Of The Human Pups.
By Cara Sutra: There's a particularly stomach-churning part of the internet which insists on foisting sexy roleplay on to others while completely bypassing the need for consent or even an ounce of interest from the other party. Without turning it into a gender war, this does majorly seem to be men viewing unsolicited sexy roleplay as a way to 'pull' women on the internet.
By Cara Sutra: Can the world please stop caring so damn much about what (supposedly) all men do? Or what all men think? And how, all these things that ALL MEN DO! Or ALL MEN THINK! are immediate and obvious signs that you, as a woman, are unattractive/unloved/neglected/totally shit in bed and should go and live under a rock with only a masturbatory twig for company?
Yep, because apparently Michigan USA need this pointing out. You'd think the differences between consensual human fuckery, in all it's beautiful and kinky forms, and fucking animals, which cannot be consensual, would be patently obvious to anyone. Apparently not in Michigan, where a bill is being put forwards (SB19) which could lead to the outlawing of not just sex with dogs & animals, but also consensual anal sex and oral sex between adult humans. Grouped together as one and the same motion.
As there seems to be some mystery surrounding how to publish something from someone’s (my) blog without them (me) being annoyed about it and shouting 'content theft!', I thought I'd write about how anyone can put my content on their site and be assured I will have a smiley face, not that frowny-faced ‘take it down immediately or imma DMCA your ass’ look quite a few companies have left me with lately.
By Cara Sutra: I'm not talking about the bed, although the subject of this post could also be a breeding ground. Real feel penetrable sex toys. Is it out of the question entirely for adult product manufacturers to make a non-porous real-feel sex toy?
For someone with high frequency hearing loss like myself, subtitles are not just an option when watching any kind of televisual media, they’re a necessity. I don’t flip them on in case the kids start playing up and I miss a couple of words. I don’t have them set to ‘on’ for a deaf relative then forget to turn them off. They’re so necessary for me that I simply can't watch anything that doesn’t have subtitles.
All my research beforehand had stated that this would be the case; a clit hood piercing can increase the sexual pleasure of a woman through either masturbation with or without sex toys or during sex with a partner. Throughout my years with a clit hood piercing the only slight issue I’ve had is the rattling of the metal if I use a bullet vibrator to stimulate my clitoris during masturbation. Everything else is sheer pleasure. There’s an illicit thrill attached to having my clit bar or ring slightly tugged or teased by a lover’s fingertips or tongue, or the motion of the ball-end against my clit during the thrusts of sexual intercourse. Knowing it’s there throughout the day, underneath my clothes, makes me feel sexy. Makes me feel more confident and attractive.
By Cara Sutra: Consensual Slut Project: I am proud to be a slut. That isn’t the same as saying I recognise that I am a woman of loose morals and I don’t care. What I mean is that I have an affinity with the phrase itself and its place and meaning in my life.
I didn’t want a man (or woman, as it turned out) to look into my eyes and say my name softly as he/she fucked me gently. I wanted to have my wrists held behind my back, I wanted a hand tight around my throat, I wanted my hair around a fist and my head yanked back as I was kissed so hard that I would think I was actually dying from not being able to breathe, for my lips and neck to be bitten until they bled and I had lasting bruises to wear with pride. I didn’t want soft sex in the dark I wanted flipping over and beating with the lights on full. I didn’t want private intimacy I wanted to have hot wax dripped over my tits with an audience watching. I didn’t want a long, hard cock with a rich suitor attached, I wanted the choice of a man or a woman as a sexual partner, to ride life’s taboos which had been denied to me for so long and to taste the most exotic (to some, obscene) pleasures that the world and other consenting people could offer.
The world has gone bondage mad. As if unrestrained restraint ‘outrageously’ demonstrated on morning TV wasn’t enough, everyone by now will be aware of the grey shaded movie being released on the 13th February. The day before Valentine’s Day. That’s right, it’s another year where we all go 50 shades of absolutely mad about bondage - and don’t forget the jiggle balls or lip balm, come to that. bettie page spanked and bondage in greyWith so much emphasis on being kinky and increasing expectation for adults across the world to be tied up and spanked this Valentine’s Day, it’s easy to feel just a little bit under pressure to perform. This should be the most romantic day of the year, traditionally, and pressure isn’t sexy. There’s really no need to feel guilty if you’re not a kinky type. The world may be Grey-obsessed but as long as your attention is on the one or ones you love that’s all that really matters. After all, Valentine’s Day is simply one day where we celebrate being able to publicly show what we should be feeling throughout the year.
It's more than a little scary that if wank fodder gets taken away from a certain type of man their first instinct is to have a tantrum, call names and insult women - insult their looks mostly, for what else do women have? So who is to 'blame' for the door closing on boobs in The Sun? Most put this squarely at the feet of 'those stupid feminists'. We can assume that this refers to the Say No To Page 3 campaigners (find on Twitter and Facebook), who have certainly not made a secret of their feelings about boobs on page 3 (or indeed any other page) of The Sun. Bare breasts in the paper has been labelled misogynistic, objectifying and primitive and the campaigners tirelessly petitioned to get this feature permanently removed from The Sun. Upon hearing the announcement on the 20th January, the Say No To Page 3 campaigners were absolutely ecstatic in their triumphant celebrations.
By Cara Sutra: I mean if porn DVDs are being produced which are expressing an enjoyable and liberated view of sexuality, then there should be no problem having Video on Demand following the same guidelines. This has become known as the UK porn ban.
By Cara Sutra: What is a sexpert? What makes someone a sexpert? Nothing, really. I could just as confidently announce that I am, in fact, Santa. There are no qualifications that lead to someone being titled an official ‘sexpert’ (notice how it’s usually in quotes, denoting something unofficial or for merely for creative merit).