We all know about ropes and floggers and cuffs – they feature not just in porn but in most erotica, in sex tips and magazines and That Book. But while it might be easy to ask your partner if you can handcuff them because you've seen this one tip in Cosmo, it could be a hell of a lot harder to explain the thrill of an actual power exchange. Of you giving yourself over to them, or them to you, to be led and moulded and treated and punished and all the things I personally love about being at the collar end of that strip of leather. You might not like that kind of thing, of course. But judging by how even a couple of my vanilla friends were keen to put it on, and be playfully led from sofa to garden, back to the sofa and straight onto my lap, it's certainly intriguing to many. And not just in a giggly 'oh we've had too much wine and sex toys are funny' way, in an 'ooh, I think I could get to like this but I'm not sure I'd admit it when sober' way.
The no frills sex using hands, lips, bodies and lovely nakedness is perfect for me. It’s exactly what my husband and I both enjoy and it works for us. It’s not that I haven’t tried to implement fetish items into the bedroom, I really have, but we just didn’t enjoy it. I’ve tried paddles, whips and even a ball gag but I don’t like being hit (ouch!) and he didn’t like hurting me either. We’ve sat and discussed at length the things that we enjoy in the bedroom and it’s the straightforward sex that we both enjoy every time.
Some of us enjoy long-term committed relationships, whilst others prefer the more casual approach to dating, opting instead to have one or more partners which we enjoy having a bit of fun with. The great thing is that society is becoming more accepting of alternative sexual practices, so there is no shame in deciding to enjoy the casual and fun aspect of dating if you don’t feel ready to commit to anything serious.
Absolute submission vs safe, sane & sensible BDSM We can’t even blame 50 Shades for the idea of ‘absolute’ submission, because it’s been around for at least 30 years. And, while Anastasia Steele might be a vacant fumbletrumpet who appears to have reached adulthood without even knowing what an email is, she does dump Creepy Christian more than once and even answers back from time to time.
Most people with more than a passing interest in erotic entertainment know, these days, that there’s more to kink than what a former employer of mine used to request by way of cover art – ‘Leather, rubber, tits, arse, whip!’
There have probably been a million and one how to articles connected to BDSM after the success of THAT book, you know the one with all the grey and the lip biting and stuff. Well, I’m going to add to that pile but today I’m going to focus in on one aspect used in BDSM that can be seen in more vanilla play too. Bondage.
The cultural tsunami that is 50 Shades may be partly responsible for the idea that all BDSM is about women’s longing for the ultimate Billionaire Bastard to tie them up and do terrible things to them but that trope’s been a bit of a problem for a while. In my own younger days, and early explorations of the fetish scene, kink was all about ‘Miss Whiplash’ and clubs were called things like Maitresse, Madame Venus and Domina.
It's that time of year again when a host of celebrities (or non celebs, depending on your tastes) enter the Jungle and put a plethora of strange and unusual foodstuffs in their mouths. The celebrity line up has now been released and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here returns to our screens on 19th November 2017.
By Mel MacFarlane: For those who are enchanted by the romance between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, a reluctant partner proves somewhat of a challenge. My inbox is full of disappointed lovers hoping for the Christian Grey bedroom experience, but struggling with their hapless partner who is quite clearly feeling the pressure.
Sex sells. It always has it always will. There is just something about two people sharing an intimate moment that makes you want to stop and ogle. For most, this is as far as the interest stretches. However, there are plenty of people spending their hard earned cash to stop and ogle, though generally from behind a computer screen. At the beginning of the year, the porn industry was estimated to generate $97 billion globally and is set to steadily increase. Porn is only one chunk of the sex industry; we still have escorts, sex workers and all the erotic niches in between.
By Cheryl Kaye: In my last column I told you I would tell you about my date, and here we are. To say I was nervous about going on a first date would be an understatement. It’s been so long since I’ve been on an actual date I had no idea what the current ‘dating rules’ are, not that I ever paid much attention to the rules but I like to know them.
By Jon Pressick: Anger, in sex and relationships, is not an easy matter to discuss. The societally enforced fantasy is that we find someone, we fall in love, we stay in love and we live happily ever after. Never is there a problem. Never is there an argument. Never is there disagreement...
Sex toys used to be a bit frowned on, kept hidden under stuff in the bottom drawer or in a box under the bed. But now, people are much more open about their use and their benefits. They can help you enjoy a range of sensations and have fun. But if you are looking to buy your first sex toy, it can still be intimidating, even when you use a top quality website like Pleasure Delights.
By Hella Rude If you're hot on your sex toy news, it won't have escaped your notice that We-Vibe and LELO have been going head-to-head over the rights to distribute C-shaped, wearable vibes for couples in the USA. But why is there even a We-Vibe & LELO fight going on?
Communication is key to any good relationship, so why do some people find it so difficult to talk about sex? The internet is littered with questions from curious and sometimes desperate people seeking counsel on how they can talk to their partner about their sexuality. What their likes and dislikes are, how to broach their fantasies or kinks, and how to encourage their lover to desire sex more.
By Hella Rude In a deviation from usual activities, I've taken time to accept the 30 Minute Makeover Challenge. Yes, I have to get ready in 30 minutes or less for a night out. To give you some background, in my camp the 'Readying' is a fun and necessary ritual. The girls and I can take anywhere up to 4 hours to get ready for a night out because it's FUN.
By Hella Rude Being in love can be one of the most exhilarating and all-encompassing feelings we get to experience as individuals. It can also be soul destroying when things start to go wrong, leading us to face some pretty difficult life decisions. It's hard to know when a relationship has run its course, emotions run high and a feeling of hopelessness can exasperate things further.
By Suzanne Kent: Can disability sympathetic escorts improve love lives and confidence? Here's the low-down when it comes to escorts for disabled clients.