Working in the adult industry I see my fair share of explicit photos. Dick pics: amateur and porn star. Naked breasts: pendulous to Parisienne. Spread vulva: hairless to hirsute. I follow blogs and social media where imagery from artistic nudes to hardcore porn are welcomed, celebrated and shared. So why do some explicit photos anger me so much? Well sometimes, explicit photos are a breach of consent.
Working in the sex industry, I've recently heard the term orgasm gap a number of times in blog posts, on social media and in press emails to me. What is this orgasm gap? Why is the spotlight on it now? And why do I believe there are dangers associated with it?
A disgusting sex practice has come to my attention in the past few days – and I’m not talking about whatever you can find in so-called weird porn. No, I mean properly disgusting. The practice known as stealthing. I’m so angry I can barely type.
Wanking is great, isn't it? All those delicious, erotic sensations travelling through your body, at any convenient time you choose, resulting in a sensory overload and glorious climax.
Casual sex has always existed, and it is very much a regular thing these days, with many dating sites specialising exclusively in getting people hooking up together for wild nights of no-string sex. But within that scene comes a pre-made conception that once you hook up with a person that is it, you won’t see them again. But what about those of us who are looking to find a sex buddy? Are we doomed to only have sex once with that person?
By Mel MacFarlane: A break up can trigger many different emotions. Some people may feel relief whereas others are heartbroken. After all, it isn’t just the breakdown of the relationship, but your future plans together too. Despite this, many of us still find it hard to resist the temptation of slipping back between the bedsheets with an ex - but why?
By Cara Sutra: One of the most common questions I get asked about sex toys is, “what is the best vibrator?” While it’s impossible for me to select the perfect vibrator for everyone, as we’re all unique, I can certainly tell you about the sex toys which work for me.
By The Sex Chat Site: Have you ever been tempted to go online and start having some sex chat with other naughty people? You’ve seen it before on porn sites; where a woman is just getting herself off in front of a webcam whilst a guy on the other end is doing the same.
By Mel MacFarlane: For those who are enchanted by the romance between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, a reluctant partner proves somewhat of a challenge. My inbox is full of disappointed lovers hoping for the Christian Grey bedroom experience, but struggling with their hapless partner who is quite clearly feeling the pressure.
By Cara Sutra: Consent is mandatory for any sexual, intimate or otherwise physically or psychologically invasive experience. We all know this, and if you don’t, you do now. It’s difficult to believe that there could be any confusion surrounding the issue of consent.
By Cara Sutra: Christmas isn’t intrinsically sexy. The focus is on the home: gathering relatives and friends for a family closeness that often only happens this time of year. Traditional scenes of baking biscuits, sipping chocolate topped with cream and marshmallows and enjoying their excited little faces all aglow doesn’t exactly scream wanton and passionate romps with your partner. Let’s not miss an opportunity for adult mischief, though. I’ve got a few ideas to help make Christmas sexy for couples and get your name so indelibly on Santa’s naughty list he’ll only visit to deliver an over the knee spanking.
By Cara Sutra: When you’ve been having sex for a while -and especially with the same sexual partner- you’ll likely find a sex position that really works for you. You’ll enjoy having sex in that particular way because it pushes your buttons. And that’s ok, until someone comes along and tells you you’ve got to ‘spice it up’ and ‘try these new positions today’. If you really want to try something new, why not consider sex locations rather than sex positions?
By Cara Sutra: I’ve had some fantastic shower sex in the past. I’ve also had some pretty naff shower sex, and some shower sex which has been, quite frankly, dangerous. I’ve been thinking about shower sex recently because we’ve just moved into a sparkly new house, and have a couple of showers… one in the en-suite, and one over-bath in the family bathroom. Along with nostalgic memories of shower fun I’ve been thinking something else, too.
By Cara Sutra: How I view myself has a big effect on my libido and, consequentially, on my sex life. Self-perception and sexuality is often discussed in sex advice articles, but I find that the majority of these simply focus on increasing your self-confidence in the bedroom so that you can enjoy sex more frequently, in more adventurous ways or just an improved sex life in general. I wanted to explore something beyond a crisis of confidence. How can the ebb and flow of self-perception alter desires towards and actions within masturbation and any shared sexual experiences?
By Cara Sutra: For people who feel uncomfortable about or even scared of sucking cock, the pressure to perform in this specific way can be difficult to swallow. Do you have a fear of giving him a blow job?
By Cara Sutra: How would you feel if you saw your partner fuck someone else? I guess for many the answer would be colourful variants of pissed off. Catch 5 minutes of a daytime TV chat show to watch lie detector frenzies and accusations of cheating descend into all-out battle. The reality, when we add in consent and pre-discussion, is more complex and nuanced. A partner having sex with someone else doesn't always mean they're cheating on you or that you'll feel betrayed.