We all know about ropes and floggers and cuffs – they feature not just in porn but in most erotica, in sex tips and magazines and That Book. But while it might be easy to ask your partner if you can handcuff them because you’ve seen this one tip in Cosmo, it could be a hell of a lot harder to explain the thrill of an actual power exchange. Of you giving yourself over to them, or them to you, to be led and moulded and treated and punished and all the things I personally love about being at the collar end of that strip of leather.
You might not like that kind of thing, of course. But judging by how even a couple of my vanilla friends were keen to put it on, and be playfully led from sofa to garden, back to the sofa and straight onto my lap, it’s certainly intriguing to many. And not just in a giggly ‘oh we’ve had too much wine and sex toys are funny’ way, in an ‘ooh, I think I could get to like this but I’m not sure I’d admit it when sober’ way.