Scandarella

He was coming for me, so I lay down, wide legged, finding his hair with both hands at the exact same time his mouth found my clitoris. Two minutes. That’s all it took for him to make me come so hard I squirted in his face.

It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes I come across a picture of a sex toy which has a shape that turns me on at first sight. It’s usually dildos that do this for me, especially those which have exciting textures or generously tapered G-spot stimulating tips. It’s rare that I ever come across a vibrator that gets me wet before I even know whether or not it performs, and I’ve never had a ladyboner over an internet image of a rabbit style vibe.

Though not as glorious as its sibling, Pina Colada, the Cock Candy Strawberry Kiwi Flavoured Lube is one of the most authentic tasting oral sex gels out there.

My desire to give all the blow jobs recently went through the roof. Why? This Cock Candy Pina Colada Flavoured Lube from MEO. The stuff is delicious! Seriously, if it was even remotely sensible I’d be happy to stick it and a shot of Bacardi in a glass and slam it. I’ve had pre-packaged Pina Coladas that weren’t nearly as tasty as this, and although it has the same kind of sweetness you get from a pre-made cocktail, you don’t get the artificial, chemically aftertaste associated with many flavoured lubes. Bonus!

There are literally dozens of different textures to choose from, each of them having a tell-tale name as to what you can expect, such as, Wavy, Twister, or Lover’s Heart to name but a few. We were given the opportunity to try out the TENGA Egg Shiny.

We’ve tried a few of these System JO flavoured lubes now, and they’ve all been a hit, so when this System JO H2O Strawberry Kiss Lube came up for review we just had to give it a shot. Before I could even get my hands on it, my husband had pocketed it, telling me it was about time he got to have first go with the new stuff. I took that to mean that I was in for a lot of spoiling, so I didn’t argue!

...then I turned it on. Oh Snowflake. The poor bunny is as weak as a kitten. The vibes from the Long Eared G Spot Bunny Bullet Vibrator don’t have enough power behind them, not even as a clitoral vibrator, which is a shame because those long, soft ears had held so much promise.

I make no secret of the fact that while I love giving my husband oral, there’s a part of me that hates it. I dislike the taste of pre-cum and actual cum is gag-alicious, so flavoured lubes are a godsend. While minty types are my faves, cherry comes in a close second, so when I spied this wee bottle of System JO H2O Cherry Burst being offered for review, I jumped at the chance to try it.