Happy New Year! Lessons Learned 2017, And My Goals For 2018

Lessons Learned & Future Goals

Every year I plan to make notes as I go through the year, so I can write one of those comprehensive and brilliant round-up posts I see other, better bloggers writing for New Year, and every year I reach Christmas with nothin’. Zilch, nada. Just my memory, which (from what I can remember) is pretty rubbish these days.

So instead of a magnificent round-up post, I’ve decided to note down a few of the lessons I learned during 2017 – ones which made a particular impression on me – and my main goals for 2018. Which are definitely (and defiantly) not resolutions, because who seriously sticks to those anyway?

Oh yeah, and Happy New Year everyone!

Happy New Year! Lessons Learned 2017 & My Goals For 2018

Lessons Learned 2017

I Put Too Much Pressure On Myself

One of my goals for 2017 was specifically not to pressure myself to write new articles and pieces for the blog and clients all the time. So why have I just spent the couple of months prior to December maniacally writing and scheduling content for the one month I (try to) have off work?

Seems I’m addicted to overloading myself with pressure. I know it’s just setting myself up for disappointment, but somehow I can’t help it. I have unrealistic expectations of my abilities and get stressed –and sometimes physically ill- trying to meet those self-imposed demands.

That said, I’ve become better at saying no to new projects that I really –yep, honestly- don’t have time for. Writing for the blog & clients and organising the Pleasure Panel takes up a lot of my time already, and I must prioritise my family, plus my mental and physical wellbeing.

I Write Unrealistic To-Do Lists

Happy New Year! Lessons Learned 2017 & My Goals For 2018

This one is connected to my first point. I just can’t write daily to-do lists. Well, I can write a to-do list, but where it says a certain day or date at the top? It’s a lie. That to-do list would take not only all of this week, but also all of next week and most of the week after that.

And I’ll still expect myself to have it all done by the end of Monday. Then beat myself up when I don’t manage it.

I’m Completely Rubbish At Reading/Sharing Other Bloggers’ Work

I’ve known this since the year dot of my blogging life. Probably also related to the above points. I spend so long striving to get all my work done and meeting self-imposed (ridiculous) targets, that I find I have little to no time to read other people’s blogs.

That seems really selfish, I suppose. But I’m not working on my blog as a hobby, I’m trying to make it earn my keep – so yeah, I do put the majority of my work efforts into it.

I know there are tons of amazing bloggers out there, and occasionally I get the chance to read some of the links that hit my Twitter feed.

Which reminds me: *adds ‘follow sex bloggers on Wordpress’ to that to-do list I shouldn’t be writing* ?

Happy New Year! Lessons Learned 2017 & My Goals For 2018

You can find some fantastic bloggers through the Pleasure Panel (I know adult industry companies have found several product reviewers in this way). I also follow my absolute tip-top favourite sex bloggers on Twitter (check out who I follow on Twitter) and I list many more in this dedicated Sex Bloggers list.

Being Eco-Friendly Can Be Easy –And Save Money Too

Speaking of sharing awesome work (and how I should do it more), I’ve learned so much from Eco Fluffy Mama. She’s not a sex blogger, she’s an eco life blogger – but sometimes the article themes overlap.

Through Eco Fluffy Mama’s blog I’ve learned so much about things like menstrual cups, reusable food and drink containers and why safety razors beat disposable types. A lot of the time, changes are really easy to make – plus they save you money as well.

Personally, I save so much money by not buying disposable razors -and I’ve cut down a lot on buying tampons thanks to using menstrual cups. Plus, I feel like I’m helping to save the planet that little bit more than I was before. Every bit counts, right?

Social Media Is Stressful

Social media is extremely fun, but can also be extremely stressful. I share less personal information and news to my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook than I would have years ago, due to negativity, and recent world events haven’t been helping.

Whether it’s trolls and harassment, shadowbanning and prejudice, whatever latest adult industry kerfuffle is kicking off or the sheer magnitude of depressing world news – social media can be a bloody miserable –and nerve-wracking– place to be.

Overall, I find social media worth it to continue being a part of – mainly as I use it for work. It’s a part of my blog project, and one way that people find me/my blog and get in touch. I need breaks from time to time though, and I’ve found that heavily filtering my feeds and only following people/accounts that don’t actively depress or upset me really helps. I don’t let myself get pressured into following of friending anyone that I don’t want – my social media, my feeds, my mental health.

Also, I’ve learned that if I have to take a day off from social media, no-one really notices. I’m not complaining, by the way – it’s a good thing! I can schedule up some tweets or updates and take a day out to refresh and recuperate if needed. Just chill the fuck out.

Family Is Everything

Obviously I knew this anyway, but having spent our first full year in our forever home it’s just brought that fact to the forefront of my mind. Whatever is going on in the world, whatever occurrence is currently upsetting the masses, whatever trolls are out there and no matter who is ‘wrong’ on the internet – my family are round me, safe and snug and looked after, and looking after me in return.

I am so grateful for all the support from my partner and fiancé Darren – love you so much – and the love I receive from my two boys, who I love with everything I have. You’re all the reason why I work so hard.

Goals For 2018

Cut Down On Admin

I spend so much time on admin tasks that it’s actually silly. During 2018 I’d love to get a bit more clever with my time – find some shortcuts that don’t lessen the quality of my work output, but instead free me up to concentrate on more important projects.

Accept Myself

This one is obviously ongoing…! As you’ve been reading above, I put far too much pressure on myself. But to be honest, that’s me. It’s who I am. I’m a perfectionist, and that comes with a certain level of need to be stressed and overworked – to a point. I’m not perfect, and you know what? That’s OK.

Keep Weekends & Evenings Work-Free

Happy New Year! Lessons Learned 2017 & My Goals For 2018I’ve made a lot of headway on this goal in recent years. Sure, I still have to do minimal maintenance of the blog during evenings and weekends, but I no longer work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Progress!

I’ve been enjoying getting to know people in our new local area since we moved home Autumn 2016. Part of that has been the start-up of a local weekly gaming night, which has been tremendous fun. I never knew I could geek so hard! I roll snake eyes like a n00b (yeah, I’m the wizard) but we enjoy ourselves nevertheless.

Don’t Set Too Many Goals

This one’s self-explanatory 😉


Finally, a huge thank you to all the Cara Sutra sex blog readers out there! I hope you have all had a wonderful 2017, a fabulous Christmas – and have an enormously prosperous and love-filled 2018 in store.

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