How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

For many people, submission and BDSM can only ever be enjoyed as part of a pre-arranged session. The fun might be even more restricted for others – only accessed via the internet. Some people, however, enjoy submission and BDSM on a 24/7 basis. What about you? Can you imagine ever including submission and BDSM in your everyday life?

Enjoying BDSM In Everyday Life

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

If you’re up for a spot of daily submission, you don’t have to go to any great lengths to arrange power exchange sessions and service Tops. There are ways to get kinky whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single.

Masturbation & Orgasm Control

Getting more strict about your masturbation habits can help give you a sense of being controlled on an everyday basis. Set some rules then challenge yourself to stick to them, no matter what. Chastity and orgasm control are very popular fetishes; and with a little willpower you can experience the highs of self-pleasure denial all by yourself.

Find self-chastity too difficult? Invest in a chastity device and make the keys difficult to access. You could freeze them in a lump of ice, or if you’re feeling brave, post them to yourself using a tracked & guaranteed method of delivery.

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

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Expand Your Anal Play

You could experiment with different types of sexual stimulation than you’re used to. It’s easy to develop masturbation habits and stick with the same thing every time. Dare to try something new.

Anal play can feel particularly edgy, and it can be a thrill trying out anal sex toys. If you already enjoy anal stimulation, then slowly and steadily increasing the size of your anal toys can be an exciting way to ‘train’ yourself.

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

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Connect With The Community

Your daily taste of submission and BDSM could come from external sources with the help of the internet. Connecting with like-minded kinksters on BDSM community websites (such as Fetlife) and through social media will help make you feel involved and included in the scene.

Many kinky friendships and D/s themed relationships are forged over the internet and with the help of BDSM community websites, you never know who you will end up chatting with and potentially meeting in real life.

You can also take advantage of information areas on websites like Fetlife to find local BDSM meet-ups, known as munches. In this way you can find out when and where kinksters are getting together for chat & fun in your location.

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

BDSM For Couples

Is it easier to enjoy submission and BDSM in everyday life when you’re in a relationship? You would think so – but it of course depends on the feelings of the other person in the relationship. You might be both submissive or both dominant and not able to Top or bottom the other person to fulfil kinky desires. Or perhaps the other person in the relationship isn’t kinky at all; they may have zero interest in or desire for a BDSM element in their life.

If your partner is interested in BDSM and either naturally or chooses to be the Top or bottom to your kinky orientation, then there are many ways to enjoy kink in everyday life. Far too many to go into in depth in a web article; books could be and have been written on the subject of BDSM relationships, 24/7 kink, total power exchange for couples and a lot more besides. The exact rules and boundaries of your everyday D/s relationship will be something unique and special for the two of you.

When Your Partner Isn’t Kinky (Or, Not Your Sort Of Kinky)

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

It’s a lot more difficult to include submission and/or BDSM in your everyday life when you’re in a relationship but your partner isn’t. Or, when your partner isn’t a suitable or willing accomplice to your kinky adventures; say, if you’re strictly submissive – but so are they. And you’re both aching for a Top to come along and enforce control.

When they’re not kinky at all, you have some decisions to make. Firstly, it might be easier said than done to even let them know that you’re kinky, if they don’t know already. You might be worried about their reaction and the impact on your relationship.

Open & Honest Communication

Once it’s out in the open, or if your partner is already aware that you’re kinky, then you’ll need to have The Chat about what you’re both into. Whether you have compatible kink –or at least, can work at it so both of you find fulfilment and have fun. For instance, my partner and I are both Dominant, but we’ve worked out that we can still have kinky fun by me bottoming in the bedroom, although lifestyle submission isn’t my thing. And he’s happy for me to seek/have my own submissives if and when I feel the need.

Hopefully, whether your partner either isn’t kinky at all or isn’t a compatible type of kinky for you, you’ll be able to enjoy an element of BDSM in your everyday life. In an ideal world, all loving folk would want their partner to be as fulfilled as possible, in whichever ways that works best for them. It could be as simple as them knowing and accepting that you have a kink for orgasm control and denial, or that you fantasise about them cucking you. Or that you visit certain BDSM themed websites, read BDSM erotica or talk to other kinksters in order to scratch that daily submission and kink itch.

When You’ve Got A Family

Kids get in the way of an active sex and/or BDSM life something rotten, right? It’s certainly true that it’s more challenging to live a full on, 24/7 kinky life when you’ve got children. The days are gone when you could leave whips, cuffs and butt plugs in your wake as you do an impression of honeymooning Tazmanian devils through the house.

There’s no need to feel like your kinky days are completely behind you when you have children, though. After all, people carry on having vanilla sex lives – they just have to be a lot more careful about when and where they do it, and sometimes a bit of forethought and planning is required. And if you’re worried about the noise after the kids have gone to bed, there’s literally no excuse not to whip out the ballgag*.

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

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Don’t Beat Yourself Up…

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

Even the most kinky amongst us can’t & don’t Do The BDSM every minute of their waking lives. Try not to compare yourself to some idyllic fantasy of 100% compatible, 24/7 kinky surrender. I’ve lived poly kinky relationships and owned a sub in a family household, and I can quite confidently state that it’s never as ’24/7′ as you imagine.

Everyone has real life and responsibilities to take into account. That’s how adulting is; it tends to get in the way of fun sometimes. But not all the time, remember. As long as you plan out when and how you can get kinky, in ways that suit you, your partner and your lifestyle, then you’ll be Doing It Right.

How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

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How To Enjoy Submission And BDSM In Everyday Life

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* Erm, for your partner. Obviously

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