Private Pride: Being Proud Of My Pussy (& No, I Don’t Care What You Think)

As a woman, I’m regularly dictated to about how I should look. The media tells me I shouldn’t be bigger than a size 10, that I should have large breasts but somehow maintain a narrow waist, that my arse should be high and firm, small and round, and I should be the correct amount of tanned at all times. My makeup needs to be ‘on point’, my hair needs to be regularly coloured and coiffed, my teeth need to be straight and sparkly white. If I should somehow fall victim to that thing called ‘age’, I should do my absolute utmost to conceal that fact. Grey hair, wrinkles and the effects of gravity on my body should be battled against with the help of various ‘wonder’ cures and creams. If and when they fail, for the woman with wealth, there’s always surgery. Keep your chin up… No! Higher than that.

For goodness’ sakes, woman – don’t let yourself go.

Being Proud Of My Pussy And Why Your Opinion Is Completely IrrelevantAnd just because I keep some parts of me (mostly) tucked away in my tummy-flattening, butt-lifting, minimal blood supply knickers, don’t presume those areas escape judgement either. No, I’m not talking about having your arse constantly compared to Perfect Pippa – although that’s relevant. I mean keeping my pussy preened and sorted. You know, for those regular and routine intimate-aesthetics checks we all have.

Wait… what do you mean you don’t have your genitals regularly checked against The Perfect Pussy Checklist?

Don’t you know that at any time, someone could just… cast judgement on your genitals, deeming them gross and disgusting?

Being Proud Of My Pussy And Why Your Opinion Is Completely IrrelevantI’m being facetious, of course. There’s no Perfect Pussy Checklist (but if you happen to find one, burn it immediately). Why is it anyone’s business what you have in your pants, and indeed, what it looks like?

Now, some might call women (in general) hypocritical here, because the girth, length and pretty much everything about the penis has been mocked and joked about for decades.

Wouldn’t satisfy a mouse’s ear. Oh my god, is that all you’ve got? Even men do it, knowing it’ll get a laugh. I like women with a sense of humour. She needs it for when I drop my pants.

The same happens to vagina-owners though – and there’s a bonus. Women get a moral judgement too.

It was like throwing a sausage up the high street. Didn’t touch the sides. Got in and there was an echo. Didn’t realise I was fucking the town bike. Christ, how many dicks has she had?

All of this, over time, can lead to deep-seated confidence issues relating to our genitals. As a woman I worry about the look of my pussy (is it pretty enough? How much hair should I retain?), the scent (do I go for natural musk, or use ‘intimate’ deodorants? I’m on my period; oh god, can anyone tell?) and the feel (is my vagina tight enough? I’ve had children, what if I’m too loose to provide pleasure during sex?).

Being Proud Of My Pussy And Why Your Opinion Is Completely IrrelevantOf course the manufacture/retail industries will always try to profit from people’s insecurities. Genital insecurity is no different. While I’m being sold anti-wrinkle cream for my face, and cellulite cream for my thighs, I’m also being sold a variety of ‘enhancers’ for more intimate parts of me. Bust firming cream. Vaginal tightening gels and equipment. Home ‘bikini line’ waxing kits. Vajazzles. Anal bleaching creams – because who knows, they might just refuse to fuck your arse if it’s not the right shade of porn star.

The fact that businesses will try to profit from our physical insecurities is nothing new, and to be honest I’m mostly desensitised to that particular channel of critique these days. I tune out the commercial breaks on TV which tell me I’m a wrinkly, saggy, fat, unfit, too old, over-the-hill type for various reasons (helped by the fact I always need the loo anyway – oh god, is that bladder weakness?). What’s worse is the very personal attacks that I hear from people with no reason to announce these opinions other than to shame people about their genitalia. Spoiler: body shaming is not OK.

Now, I’ve nothing against people having opinions. I’ve been known to have one or two myself. But the way an opinion is expressed, especially about issues personal to others, makes all the difference. There’s a difference between, for example, expressing your preference for redheads over blondes. That you personally love small breasts on a woman. That you’ve always favoured girthier penises over whatever the length is.

Being Proud Of My Pussy And Why Your Opinion Is Completely IrrelevantThis is different to pointing out a specific attribute and referring to it negatively, perhaps even going so far as to label it disgusting and offensive to you. Because you don’t know exactly what someone else keeps in their pants, you could be directly insulting, offending and hurting a person in the audience of your comments. Even if it’s a one-to-one chat and you do know what that person has in their pants, I’d hope you’d be a bit more tactful about it.

To be honest, I’m not sure there’s ever any reason to make sweeping negative generalisations about genitalia, be it penis & balls, vulva and vagina, butts and bum-holes, or any combination of the above.

If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all. – Thumper

Being Proud Of My Pussy And Why Your Opinion Is Completely IrrelevantDon’t people – and women in particular – have enough daily judgement about their bodies to contend with without such incredibly intimate and totally unnecessary ridicule?

Some years ago I wrote a piece for Molly’s Pussy Pride project, and I still stand by my words today.

“From the childhood stages of growth, through the puberty years, having my first period, realising I hate them but they are a necessary part of a woman’s life, up to the happiness it has helped me achieve in the last couple of years [via childbirth], my pussy has experienced much and is still thriving, active and ready for more.

…I can say wholeheartedly that I am indeed proud of my pussy. I sincerely hope all women out there feel the same way.”

Are you proud of your body, your genitals, your pussy? It’s a very personal question, and one I just hope you’ll muse on. I don’t need answers here. This post isn’t about making it acceptable to have an unbleached anus. Making it ok to have a free-roaming bush of pubic hair. It’s not about creating a rallying cry for those with landing strips or full-waxes, or armpit hair or stretch marks or real boobs or fake boobs or long labia or post-birth vaginas. The take-away here should be that the specific details don’t even matter. Your body is your body. Your intimate areas are Being Proud Of My Pussy (And Why Your Opinion Is Completely Irrelevant) your intimate areas. Not for others to dissect and judge.

I’m not trying to create support for my specific body type or my bodily features here. I’m always striving to have more body confidence in general, whatever my body happens to be like at any time and regardless of other people’s opinions on the subject.

My body. My pussy.

Your opinion is entirely irrelevant. 

Being Proud Of My Pussy (And Why Your Opinion Is Completely Irrelevant)

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you for the mention of the Pussy Pride Project. If you wanted to link this post in as well please feel free, there is no limit to the number of posts someone can submit to the meme and this one definitely fits perfectly within the project

    Mollyx

    • Thanks Molly 🙂
      Do you link to think from the Pussy Pride post? Or link to it from elsewhere? I don’t mind either way! Just let me know where it’s at or how to go about putting it someplace.
      Thanks! x

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