The Lovetron 9000: Biohacking, Your Sexual Future & Other Futuristic Shiz

What are biohackers? you’re wondering. Biohacking is a fairly new practice that could lead to some real major evolutionary changes in our lifetime. You could it call citizen or do-it-yourself biology. This is self-styled body improvements. There is no real set standard; one biohacker’s hack may not be the panacea of another’s. Biohacking is what you get when you combine the field of biology with hacking. Essentially it’s a way for individuals to “hack” their bodies to achieve certain goals. It could be a simple solution to improve your cognitive abilities or a real life DIY body enhancement, like chipping yourself with an RFID chip to be in sync with your computer, enter the VIP area of a club, pay your bills, open your smart door… I think you guys get the drift.

The Lovetron 9000: Biohacking, Your Sexual Future & Other Futuristic Shiz

Some of you are already biohacking and don’t realize it. There are four very popular forms of biohacking, the first is taking a nootropic to improve cognitive abilities as was mentioned in the previous paragraph, then second is the use of a cybernetic device to record biometric information and data (which is where a lot of you don’t realize you’re biohacking with your FitBits), the third could be something like the installation of DIY body enhancements like magnetic implants, and lastly the more complex of biohacking tasks which is performing advanced gene sequencing research in a/your home or in a/your laboratory. This translates to one thing: effectively managing your body via technology.

In today’s busy world we are constantly managing ourselves, our jobs, our schedules, our children and our home lives. Biohacking presents humans with the ability to improve our body’s inputs with better, more technological outputs being used to impact our general health. Biohackers are also called Grinders who identify mostly with transhumanist and biopunk ideologies. As per Wikipedia, “Transhumanism is the belief that it is both possible and desirable to so fundamentally alter the human condition through the use of technologies as to inaugurate a superior post-human being”. We will leave the messy ethical issues and everything else associated with body modifications for debate.

So how does this relate to sex and porn? According to the Daily Mail, back in February of this year a salesman from Utah, Rich Lee, is building an implant known as the Lovetron 9000 which can be implanted under a man’s pubic bone, which essentially turns a penis into a real life vibrator. The first prototype should be on the market before summer and having teamed up with Ascendance Biomedical to make this possible it will be done with class and without skipping any steps.

The Lovetron 9000: Biohacking, Your Sexual Future & Other Futuristic Shiz

In a recent DailyMail interview, Lee said:

“I have a lot of people that contact me that are women who are interested in getting something for their husband or boyfriend which surprised me – but I can see it being very useful in a lot of relationships where a man is intimidated by toys but it’s the best thing for her.”

One could describe this as a vibrating cock ring that never needs a recharge.

So this brings us to an important question: Is biohacking a viable route to sexual pleasure?

The answer to that is slightly more complicated than you would think. Aside from the moral and ethical issues a person may or may not have with undergoing the procedure of getting an output that brings you to the next level of human (in these terms sexual evolution) evolution. This is about as close to the idea of being a cyborg comes in today’s terms.

Do a simple browser search for biohacking and chances are you will find lots of links that link the idea of sex and biohacking together. Is this possibly the panacea for ED (Erectile Dysfunction)? That has yet to be seen and correlated, however, many more devices and breakthroughs are happening on a regular basis to make suffers of ED hopeful for a better treatment or better yet a cure.

The Lovetron 9000: Biohacking, Your Sexual Future & Other Futuristic ShizYou will not see biohacker used as keyword or tag on a porntube site, it’s only gotten close with toys or machine sex, but this is all going to change as more and more people sign up for operations that augment their bodies with apps and chips. More and more people want to elongate their lifespans, the quality of their health and by extension their bodies, but biohackers like other humans also want to increase the quality of their sex lives, because, well… who doesn’t want to?

This article is more to let readers know about the current possibilities that biohackers have, not so much as a how to guide of how to fuck a biohacker, since in all fairness if your lover has a Fitbit you are currently fucking a biohacker. And they look no different than any other wrist-jewelry-wearing people you may cross on a street. Any street. Anywhere in the world. So before you start thinking that you are having sex with a cyborg you’re not; well, not yet at least.

Just in case you still don’t believe you have been surrounded by biohacking stories; you have, you just don’t realize it because it’s labelled as so many The Lovetron 9000: Biohacking, Your Sexual Future & Other Futuristic Shizdifferent things. But in case you think this writer is blowing smoke up your ass: if you’re in my age bracket then you saw it in the Terminator series. You can also say you saw Matt Damon play a cybernetic human in Elysium and Robert Downey Jr. plays one as Iron Man (take your pick of Avengers themed movie/release). Hell, if you are a gamer then the Deus Ex and Bio Shock series shouldn’t be unfamiliar to you.  The common thread: these all feature characters with biohacked bodies. Argument done. Discuss.

The future is on our doorstep and we should embrace the friendliness. There are some theories that state if we don’t embrace the idea of biohacking we may actually get left behind in the evolutionary process, which depending on which side of the fence you are debating the argument from this is either a good or bad thing. Regardless of how far you stick your head in the sand, deny the inevitable or embrace it with such fervor that you alienate your friends and family, biohacking is here to stay. It’s just a question of whether or not you want to 2.0 yourself to keep with up with the Jones’ in the Neo-Jones App.

Biohacking may not be totally commonplace today in 2017, but no one can say for certain that it will be like that in 2018. Regardless of how you feel about the idea of being chipped (please no NWO arguments here) biohacking is only going to gain in momentum. Be prepared to think about doing a 2.0 version of yourself, it might be the exact thing you’ve been waiting your entire life for.


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