Why do people enjoy BDSM?

A lot of people who only enjoy your run-of-the-mill sex don’t always understand the appeal behind bondage and sadomasochism. This is because they are used to seeing sex as a pleasure-giving activity; so they don’t always get why some people will want to be dominant or be dominated; whilst others will want to give or receive pain. Often, people cannot see beyond the fact that it looks painful and uncomfortable; but that is probably because they haven’t taken the time to look deeper at the principles behind the scene.

Why do people enjoy BDSM?

#1 – Trust is everything

BDSM might just look like someone enjoying giving pain to someone else in a sadistic way, but there is actually a lot more going on than just that. It is important to understand that before people put themselves into that position, there is a lot of talking and organising that goes into the act.

People don’t just give each other a whip and ask to be spanked; instead they sit down and explain to each other what they want to do and what they want to be done to them. This means talking about how hard people can go; setting limits and establishing some safe words that can be said at any moment to stop the act if it ever goes too far and gets too painful.

You don’t just jump into the situation without setting up the boundaries and limits; and with that comes a lot of trust between the different parties involved. To be able to trust someone with your pain and therefore your well-being is nothing short of a great feeling; where you can let go of yourself and escape your daily stresses altogether.

#2 – Dominant / dominated

It is fairly easy to understand why someone would want to take the position of dominant. We all get told what to do and how to behave every day; whether it is at work or at home. It is only normal that some of us want to turn the tables around; taking the dominating seat. Dominating doesn’t always mean having to give pain to someone; but at least in those instances you are in control of the situation. This sort of control is taken away from us in our daily lives; and it just feels great to get it back.

As for people who enjoy getting dominated, it is not so strange neither. Imagine you’re this boss or company director and you spend all your days giving orders and shouting at people. That might sound alright to some but the reality is that it gets tiring after a while. It’s like you can’t spend one day without having to tell people what to go; and you just wish that they just got on with it. So how about a change of scenery: get dominated; get told what to do. For once you’re not in control; you can just take the passenger seat and enjoy the ride to make a change!

#3 – Roleplay

Not all BDSM is about leather; and there are a lot of roles you can pretend to be during your BDSM adventures. You could be the man who gets punished during the harshest of job interviews; or you could be the woman giving the interview. Of course it’s really not limited to the man / woman dynamics; heck all genders and sexualities are welcome! The more different people you put in the equation; the more extreme your roleplay can be. Some people like to recreate movie scenes whilst others want to recreate things that happened in their past. As long as there is imagination and preparation; then it can be a lot more fun than traditional ‘making love’ sex.

So try to chase all those nasty images you might have from movies like ‘Pulp Fiction’; and forget altogether about ‘50 Shades of Grey’. Instead go online, try BDSM dating on My BDSM Hookups and ask people who actually do it, and you will discover a world that you might just like.


About the author: My BDSM Hookups helps people enjoy BDSM together. They aim to connect local Dominants and those who are eager to become their submissives. Safe, sane and consensual bondage and ropeplay can be transformed from dream to reality. Enjoy informed consent, mutual trust and enjoyment in your BDSM hook-ups.

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