Should You Ever Have Sex With An Ex?

Should You Ever Have Sex With An Ex?

By Mel MacFarlane

A break up can trigger many different emotions. Some people may feel relief whereas others are heartbroken. After all, it isn’t just the breakdown of the relationship, but your future plans together too. Despite this, many of us still find it hard to resist the temptation of slipping back between the bedsheets with an ex – but why? Is sex with an ex easier than navigating the dating scene again, or are we struggling to find the time to cultivate brand new relationships and finally break the chain?

Should You Ever Have Sex With An Ex?

In the interests of science, I decided to examine the pros and cons of having sex with an ex. Is it really all it’s cracked up to be, or are we just setting ourselves up for a fall?

Pros

Sex with an ex is like putting on comfortable old slippers

Very few people know your bedroom preferences like an ex, and unless they are a terrible lover, you’ll have the great sex that you’ve enjoyed previously. After a break up, lots of ex couples admit to enjoying better sex together. Many admitted preferring the physical side of an ex relationship, without the hassle of day to day problems that often come with them.

Sex with an ex is easier because you know each other’s bodies

Should You Ever Have Sex With An Ex?An ex knows your body, and you know theirs. You understand each other’s hang ups and you know exactly what makes each other tick. Falling into bed with an ex doesn’t guarantee great sex, but it does mean that you can enjoy yourself without thinking about your body hang ups, or the added pressure of a new liaison. I remember many a booty call with an ex who really wasn’t right for me, but when the time arose, it was nice to have the sex when I wanted it.

Sex with an ex is a quick fix

Sex with an ex shouldn’t be taken lightly (as examined below). It’s a quick fix which is intended to be taken lightly, and with a side order of orgasm! On occasion, it may lead to a reconciliation but these instances are very rare.

Sex with an ex can help you to get closure

Sometimes sex can help you to seal the deal and walk away from the relationship. After all, if you’re wondering whether you’ve made a mistake, just one more time can help you to remember the reasons why the relationship isn’t working and get the closure you need.

Cons

Sex with an ex will stop you from moving on

For some, putting on those tired, worn but comfortable slippers is the catalyst that stops you from popping down to Clarks and picking up a more exciting, more comfortable and improved set of footwear. After all, why settle for less than what you’re worth?

Sex with an ex won’t help you to move on. You’ll be stuck in a time warp of the same bad habits and poor behaviour. Occasionally you’ll enjoy sex, but it certainly won’t be the sex that you want or deserve.

Always strive for better slippers.

Sex with an ex won’t make them fall back in love with you

Should You Ever Have Sex With An Ex?Okay, so we can’t kid ourselves that it’s all about the sex. Are you going back because you hope that they will realise what a horrible mistake they made, and turn up with flowers, chocolates and remorse?

It won’t happen; this isn’t Hollywood. As soon as something ‘better’ comes along, they will drop you like a hot brick.

Sex with an ex will leave you annoyed

It’s highly unlikely that you’ll be anything more than their late night booty call – and if that’s what you want, that’s fine. If you want a daytime text because they just happen to be ‘thinking of you’ or you don’t want them to go on that ‘singles night out’, you’ll be sorely disappointed…

And then you’ll be annoyed.

Sex with an ex will make you feel like shit

Have you ever had a one night stand that left you feeling like shit? Imagine this feeling every time you go back, especially if you’re the person that didn’t want the relationship to end. You’ll never be more than the ‘go-to’ shag whenever your ex is bored – and they won’t care about your feelings afterwards.

The relationship broke down for a reason

The relationship with your ex broke down for a reason. If it didn’t work out before, the chances of it working out later are very rare. Going back to your ex usually just leads to more heartache and I know this from experience. I learned a very valuable lesson that year, and it’s one that I won’t forget in a hurry.

So, should you ever have sex with an ex?

Based on my findings, sex with an ex isn’t a great idea. It simply leads to more heartache and will stop you moving on and finding a partner that you deserve. From my experience, it has never worked out before and I have yet to find a successful ‘ex rekindling’ story. Plus, if your exes are anything like mine, I’d rather shave my eyeballs with a blunt razor blade and pour lemon juice into the sockets anyway.

After all, why revisit old mistakes when there are so many new ones to be made?

– Mel MacFarlane


About The Writer

Mel MacFarlane is an experienced adult industry copywriter, product reviewer and business consultant. You can find her at her own leading sexuality magazine, Voluptasse. You can also follow Mel’s work on Twitter and Facebook.

Should You Ever Have Sex With An Ex?

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1 COMMENT

  1. Last winter, my ex and I decided to see each other “one more time”, and we ended up having sex. It was absolutely heartbreaking for so many reasons–the loss of our relationship was being solidified, the closure we gained from what started as a highly sexual relationship was ending in the penultimate way it started (with sex), knowing we will never be intimate with each other again, the fact that he was using sex again as some repair bandage (it didn’t fix anything), the anger at myself for falling easily again into bed with him–brought sobbing tears to me in the middle of our sex. And you know what, he didn’t even stop and knew I was crying. He actually urged me to cry, wiped my tears, and he told me it got him off! Sad yes, but I should have known better. The best sex partner I had ever had ended up being the worst love partner for me. And it took that last tryst to reveal everything to me that five years of coupling never showed me.
    Lesson learned!
    -M

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