What Makes An Erection Sexy?
The Difference Between Dick Pics & Hot Cocks
There’s something about a bouncing, bobbing erect penis which can be so fucking hot. But what is it about hard cock? What makes an erection sexy?
Before my inbox caves under the weight of all the dick pics, I want to make something absolutely clear: random images of cock (erect or otherwise) don’t automatically turn me on. I don’t look at a hard cock and think fuck, that’s sexy. I need to have some context. A reason.
The context of and reasons for finding certain erections sexy are quite varied. It’s not as simple as, “oh you’re a decent guy, I therefore love your beautiful erect cock and want to hop on board immediately.” I mean, obviously I say exactly that to my partner every time we foreplay…!
It would be unrealistic to imagine that his is the only erect cock I ever see in my day to day life. He sees enough erect cocks in his own day to day life, but that’s another story for another day. So whose erections do I find sexy, why do I find those erections sexy in particular, and how do they differ from each other?
My Lover’s Erection
Somewhat startlingly, there’s a definite power element to finding my partner’s erection incredibly sexy. When he gets erect around me I’m assuming it’s because of me. Yes, there may be other reasons as well but out of sheer vanity I like to believe it’s all me. He’s rather lovely and assures me that it’s all me as well, which is nice. It feels powerful, being attractive enough to cause him to become erect, especially without touching him.
Then there’s the pleasure potential of his erection. My body responds, my throat tightens and my clit tingles as I anticipate what his erect cock is capable of. How it will feel when I take it in my hand, brush it against my skin. How it will feel when it slips inside my warm, tight wetness. So many thoughts, visuals, sensory imaginings and memories pass through my mind in seconds when I look at his erection.
How he wears his erection also makes a difference to how I feel towards it. This might sound a little strange, because his penis is attached to him and he doesn’t have any other option than to ‘wear’ it. In the past I’ve had sexual partners who seemed embarrassed by their erection, as if getting erect was a source of shame. I found the red-facedness and giggling incredibly juvenile and a total turn-off. It’s much sexier to me when a man wears his erection with pride and confidence… without going over the line into arrogance.
Although I usually see and enjoy my partner’s free-bobbing erection in the privacy of our own bedroom (or bathroom) there are times when it’s his restrained erection I find unbelievably sexy. It could be the outline of that tell-tale bulge when I tease him with just my words, out in public. Seeing him struggle to keep his face straight while his erect cock is restricted from reaching fullness by his underwear, and then his jeans over the top. Depending where we are I might decide to tease him by sitting on his lap, or pressing my body against him there, or cupping that outline in my hand before carrying on as normal. When his erection happens someplace inappropriate for its release, and needs to be contained and restricted, it can be really fucking hot. The fact we both have to wait until we’re someplace private to enjoy his erection in full, and those thoughts taking over both our minds almost to the exclusion of everything else, means the sex is all the more frenzied and wild when we finally enjoy it.
A Slave’s Erection
This erection restriction -and my excitement relating to it- takes a more severe form when it comes to my attraction to slave erections. The kinky and slightly sadistic enjoyment of denying an erection reaching its full potential is cranked all the way up to 11 in the form of chastity fetish.
I’ve said I am not into receiving dick pics… but there is a type of dick pic I always enjoy receiving. Cocks locked into chastity cages – metal padlock preferably, and with proof someone else holds all the keys – and if that cock is obviously desperate to be released then all the better. You may have seen the sort of photos I’m talking about. A submissive’s penis locked into a metal or plastic chastity cage, his full, tight balls straining beneath and the penis inside the tube filling it to almost bursting, perhaps drooling some pre-cum for a clit-twitching bonus.
To me, a cock under lock and key in this way is the epitome of beautiful control. When a slave consents to and actively enjoys the power exchange of locking his penis up in a chastity cage, handing another person the keys and willingly enduring the torment of erection and orgasm denial, it’s an irresistible thrill.
As a Domme and Mistress in the BDSM scene I’ve insisted that my submissives are chaste, usually by way of a chastity device to which I hold the keys. Some of the most potent memories I have with my slaves have been those times when they first realise just what actual chastity really means (as opposed to the mere fantasy of it), when they start begging for release -especially when the tears come- and the gasping relief and gratitude when I personally unlock their cage.
The erection which springs free at that point represents several enjoyable aspects combined: a shared fetish, the power exchange, their endurance through the lock-up until this point, my control over such a powerfully motivating part of them and there’s still the anticipation of whether it’s simply the erection which will be enjoyed or an ejaculatory orgasm as well.
A newly released slave erection is so much fun, and the power/control attached as a Domme is addicting and exhilarating. Also, watching a slave attempt to get their erect penis back into a chastity device – whether they were denied an ejaculatory orgasm or they were allowed the rare privilege – is absolutely hilarious.
Erect Cocks In Porn
It’s not only real, live erections I ever get to see, as I mentioned towards the start of this article. I think most adults have seen a bit of porn at some point in their lives, whether you deliberately go searching for it or you get accidental porn-in-the-eyes through Google image search. Even if non-phallic sex and porn is your thing I still reckon it’d be hard (sorry) to find an adult who has never seen a picture of an erect penis.
Being a sex writer and working in the adult industry I probably see more than my fair share of erect cock porn pics. They might pop-up (again, sorry) when I’m searching for images to use on my blog, or they could be on a client’s website, or on other people’s sex blogs. Because I see them in the context of my work, they don’t have any sexual effect on me. It’s just a case of, “Oh, erect penis. Right.”
Besides, I don’t know these people in porn and professional adult photography who are proudly displaying and using their erections. If I do go looking for porn to enjoy in an erotic sense, I don’t ever search for penis pictures to titillate my mind and body. Personally, I find the female bodies and actions much more sexually arousing, and if there’s a penis or three involved then they’re simply to provide the woman with the stimulation she wants in that scene. For me, the porn erection is a practical tool, not a visually pleasing element in its own right. The term ‘stunt cock’ comes to mind.
What About Strap-Ons?
Strap-ons are great fun. I really enjoy using them on other people – in the past on male submissives for pegging, and nowadays on both my male partner and female lovers – as well as having them used on me.
That said, I just don’t feel the same sense of sexual attraction to a lover wearing a strap-on as I do to my partner’s real, flesh and blood penis erection.
Strap-ons are sex accessories for me. They’re fun to use, both wearing one myself and boinging it around and being playfully menacing as well as hopping on a female lover’s strapped on cock. They’re nothing more than dildos held to the body with the strap harness though, so all of my thoughts, thrills, attraction and arousal related to penis erections simply don’t apply.
When I’m sexually aroused pegging my male partner with a strap on it’s because of the enjoyment he’s getting out of the anal sex I’m giving him, not because I imagine that I have a penis. I have friends who do love to imagine they have a penis, and there’s all sorts of brilliant gender fluid and gender queer fun potential there, but it’s just not me. The same when I’m using a strapped-on dildo on a female lover, or when I’m riding her strapped-on dildo. It’s my attraction to the woman herself which makes me and keeps me aroused, not the sense that I’m wielding or fucking an erect penis. And it’s most definitely the sight of a pin-stripe suited/lingerie-clad/naked woman I’m about the fuck which turns me on, not the fact she has a silicone dong attached to her groin.
It’s been fascinating analysing how, when and why I might find an erection sexy. Like a lot of other women, I bemoan the fact that I receive so many dick pics, and it’s true that without any of the context I’ve discussed above I just don’t find the erections in those photos sexy. In fact, they’re a complete turn-off, an insult. But in the right situations, with the right people, an erect penis can be a beautiful, thrilling, highly arousing thing.
How do you feel about erect cocks? What makes an erection arousing or otherwise for you, personally? Do you get a thrill from seeing an erect penis just on its own merit, such as in dick pics or in porn? Or do you have to have a sexual, kinky or romantic involvement with the person?
I’d be interested to read your comments below.
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