How Can I Get Over My Fear Of Giving Him A Blow Job?

How Can I Get Over My Fear Of Giving Him A Blow Job?

Sex tips from Cara Sutra

A blow job is often perceived as the sex act that every guy wants right now. That and anal sex, of course. Porn films have helped with this perception, with dicks being shoved between shiny red lips left right and centre. For people who feel uncomfortable about or even scared of sucking cock, the pressure to perform in this specific way can be difficult to swallow. Do you have a fear of giving him a blow job?

How Can I Get Over My Fear Of Giving Him A Blow Job Sex Tips from Cara Sutra

Some might have an extra sensitive gag reflex and worry about choking while giving him a blow job, or that they’ll vomit. Perhaps you’re worried you won’t know how to do it properly and he’ll be disappointed. Or it could be that you simply hate the idea of having his genitals anywhere near your mouth. For those who would like to address their fear of giving him a blow job, there are a few things you can try which could help.

Talk to your partner about your concerns. Yes, that old chestnut. I know it’s been said over and over in relationship advice guides, but it’s surprising how often people let their fears stop them from raising issues directly with their partners. Instead, many turn to good old Google for help, or their friends, rather than talking to the one person who could give you the reassurance which is tailored for your specific relationship.

Let your partner know exactly how he can help with your fear of giving him a blow job. Aspects such as being gentle with you, not rushing you and maybe enjoying an intimate bath or shower together first could be useful. Suggesting a bath or shower together first isn’t only romantic, it will ensure he’s squeaky clean before you put your face down there. Bonus.

Know what to expect. Google is your friend – sometimes – so research oral sex and find out how other people give blow jobs, how they feel about it and any tips to make it easier on you. Be aware that erotic fiction has a tendency to exaggerate facts and make sex acts more dramatic than they might be in real life.

You might want to avoid some of my stories involving blow jobs as I’ll be the first to admit they’re pretty aggressive! Seriously, don’t read this.

fear of giving him a blow jobIf you’re worried about the taste and/or smells, then sucking a mint beforehand has a couple of benefits. It will give him a sensational tingle when your tongue is in contact with his delicate region, and the menthol taste and smells should help keep you down there longer. These special oral sex mints also provide a subtle numbing sensation to the back of your throat to make the job even easier on you. No mints on hand? Brush your teeth and gargle with mouthwash before you start. Note: make sure you spit out all the mouthwash before going down on him, unless you’re some kind of super-sadist.

Be kind to yourself, and take it slowly. It’s unlikely that you’re going to be deep-throating from the off with a fear of giving him a blowjob, so just do as much as you feel you can, er, handle. You could challenge yourself to just use your tongue only for the first few times, teasing his frenulum with your tongue tip. Or give his shaft gentle kisses while you’re holding and gently tugging his balls. You can limit the amount of contact your mouth has with his cock and balls, mainly using your fingers and hands – like erotic foreplay building almost to a handjob with the addition of licks and kisses. Only do as much as you feel comfortable with.

That leads me to the most important point to remember. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I’ll repeat it, because it’s just that important.

Remember: You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

The above tips and advice are solely for people who actively want to combat their fear of giving him a blow job, not those who are (sadly) feeling obligated to provide oral sex. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it. And I’m hoping this next point won’t apply to anyone, but worry that it will: don’t cave to any pressure from your partner. A decent, loving and respectful partner will realise the importance of consent.

 

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2 COMMENTS

  1. A very good article, it’s just a shame that some porn gives the impression that deep-throating is the ultimate BJ experience (personally I don’t think so, a tongue licking around the glans is much more enjoyable IMO) because it can make the recipient worry that their partner is going to shove the whole length down their throat.

    “Just do as much as you feel you can, er, handle” is definitely good advice and one (pardon the pun) handy tip is for the recipient to wrap their hand around the shaft of the penis so that if they thrust (if you’re doing a good job, they might just do this out of reflex rather than deliberate intent!), the penis can’t go further into your mouth than you want.

    Of course if you are into “forced” oral sex, being “made” to give someone a blow job, there are various toys such as Ring Gags and Dental Gags which hold the mouth open, leaving you available for their use, but that’s a different article, I’m sure 🙂

    • Thanks for your comment! I agree with the helpful tips as well.
      This article is for the very wary and beginners, so the last part would definitely be for a future article 😉

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