Pokémon Sex Toys

Is Pokémon GO The Hottest Craze Of 2016?

Despite never identifying as a gamer, there was something about Pokémon which drew me in and kept me avidly playing. It was when I was flipping open my Gameboy Advance SP to catch more of the cute creatures in the long grass during my honeymoon in 2002 that I realised I might have a bit of an addiction (no, the marriage didn’t last very long). I felt I was late to the Pokémon party even way back then, 14 years ago – but seeing my friends go wild for this year’s Pokémon GO game is something else. Then I heard about the new Pokémon sex toys. And of course I just had to share these amazing creations with you.

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If you’re reading this wondering what the hell Pokémon even is and if it might possibly be some sort of Pac Man update (er, it’s not) then you need to read all about this popular, pocket monster catching & collecting game here. Basically you’re on a quest (aren’t you always) to find and collect as many of the pocket monsters (Pokémon) as you can. Gotta catch ‘em all! You wander into the long grass, meet a Pokémon who happens to be hiding there, battle it using a Pokémon you already have and then if you win you’ve captured that new Pokémon. Continue until you describe colour shades using Pokémon names, ‘Pokeballs’ doesn’t sound rude to you in the slightest, and you have no shame or regrets about your new Squirtle tattoo.

Cue Summer 2016 – and the Pokémon craze is back in the form of Pokémon GO. But don’t worry that this new game will see kids, teens and adults alike lounging around indoors eyeballing a screen for hours on end – in order to catch Pokémon in this new game you have to actually walk around in the real world. Scary, I know. Using a combination of your mobile device’s GPS and something called ‘augmented reality’, players can wander about outside catching Pokémon to add to their collection and to do battle with in the game.

But what the hell has this all got to do with adult toys? Well it seems we might soon have to create an addendum to Rule 34. If something is popular, someone will likely make parody sex toys based on it. And that’s exactly what’s happened here: you can now buy Pokémon sex toys.

Pokémon Sex Toys Is Pokémon GO 2016’s Hottest Craze 1These adult toys are made by an Australian company called Geeky Sex Toys who parody various parts of pop culture in the form of sex toys. There are sex toys based on Doctor Who, Star Wars, The Avengers, and more. You won’t find them titled by these names on their online sex shop though; probably to avoid copyright issues the sex toys have simply been created with recognisable features and tongue-in-cheek names that geeks everywhere will recognise. So too with the new Pokémon sex toys – they’re known as Pokémoan sex toys on the website.

Wondering if you should collect ‘em all? In my opinion I think the Pokémon sex toys are a lot of fun. Geeky Sex Toys reached out to let me know about this new range – albeit a small collection – and I was moved to write about them and share details of them with you here. The Pokémon sex toys are made with silicone, which is one worry off your mind (it’s a non-porous, comfortable and body safe material) and the designs really are just too cute.

Pokémon Sex Toys Collection

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Bulby

Bulbasaur is a grass type Pokémon but the Bulby dildo will never kiss and tell. This girthy sex toy has a large seed style tip to satisfy the most demanding orgasm-hunter.

Measures: 5cm wide tip (widest point) with a shaft width of 3.5cm and a shaft length of 16cm.

Price: AUD $69 (approx £40)

Will Bulby help leave orgasm battles in the past and  see you take your pleasure in the long grass?

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Charmy

Charmander is the fire type Pokémon that this dildo is named after. It’s slightly thinner than Bulby and has an attractive flaming tail.

Measures: 4cm wide head (widest point) and has a length of 18cm overall.

Price: AUD $69 (approx £40)

Will Charmy raise the temperature of your masturbation sessions?

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Squirty

Named after the water Pokémon, Squirtle, this dildo has a smooth round head with a cute nod to the Pokémon by way of the grooved turtle shell on its back.

Measures: 4cm wide head with a shaft measuring 6cm wide and 14cm in length.

Price: AUD $69 (approx £40)

Will this Squirty leave you a satisfied puddle of lust?

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Piky

Something of an unfortunate abbreviation when it comes to British culture so you need to remember to pronounce it in the Pokémon way – ie. ‘peeky’. This butt plug is reminiscent of Pikachu, perhaps the most recognisable Pokémon of them all.

Measures: 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and the tail is 8cm long.

Price: AUD $50 (approx £28.50)

Will Piky help you achieve electrifying orgasms?

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If you’re a Pokémon fan and a sex toys lover and you just have to ‘catch ‘em all’ then you can buy the Pokémon sex toys (sorry, Pokémoan sex toys!) either from the Geeky Sex Toys website or here at Etsy. Shipping to the UK from the Geeky Sex Toys website costs from AUD $28.32 on top of the prices quoted above (approx £16.12 at today’s rates).

Go on, stick ’em in your Pokédicks… *cough* I mean Pokédex.

 

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I have not been remunerated in any way for this post…
& no affiliate links have been used

2 Responses to “Pokémon Sex Toys: Is Pokémon GO 2016’s Hottest Craze?”

  1. edn

    I feel like I shouldn’t but I actually want the Pikachu tail butt plug!

    Reply

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