The Human Puppy Programme & Why I Love Puppy Play
I don’t have a kink for pretending to be a dog. I’m not even a ‘dog person’. However, the national furore surrounding people who want to be a human puppy this week really made my hackles rise. The cause of the outrage? TV shows giving an insight into the puppy play scene and/or fetish, including a Channel 4 documentary entitled The Secret Life Of The Human Pups.
Before the Channel 4 doc aired on Wednesday night this week, the main ‘star’ of the show was interviewed on popular daytime TV show This Morning. It’s a mid-morning show which includes all kinds of features: celeb gossip, entertainment news, cookery, fashion, big competitions and discussions and phone-ins about health and adult interest matters. These discussions and advice segments regularly discuss topics of a sexual nature, such as supposed strange sexual habits of a partner, what the best positions are to conceive, sexually transmitted infections and what to do about them, and even keeping the audience up to speed with the latest and greatest sex toys.
— Metro (@MetroUK) May 24, 2016
When the Secret Life of the Human Pups star ‘Spot’ was interviewed on This Morning, it didn’t take long for #HumanPuppy to start trending on Twitter.
— Original Bond Girl (@theponsfords) May 24, 2016
That poor woman looks MORTIFIED. This isn't normal behaviour. I'm very very open minded but this isn't psychologically right. #humanpuppy
— HollyannaDolly (@Hollyanna2305) May 24, 2016
Why is there a nonce dressed as a dog on my tv? #humanpuppy
— Lisa Racheal (@Queen_of_Orange) May 24, 2016
— ?? (@A_shli_e) May 24, 2016
This is just out of the box, insane , crazy. #humanpuppy
— Ashley Robertson (@aggibygum) May 24, 2016
#humanpuppy omg this is just bloody weird and rather creepy
— @travelprincess99 (@ruth_clark) May 24, 2016
I simply couldn’t roll over and take this sort of attitude. I’m very vocal in my defence of consenting adults’ right to indulge in whatever kinks, fetishes, sexual practices and non-sexual adult activities they wish. Sure, there’s a time and place for personal fetishes to be participated in and displayed, but as explained above: This Morning regularly tackles subjects of an adult nature. Yes, I get that it’s shown in the daytime. However, the typically sexual subject matters discussed are done so when children should be at school. If you’re letting them watch a daytime TV show if they’re off school with illness, then use that powerful tool called the remote control. Viewer discretion advised and all that.
People consensually roleplaying as lovable pets is apparently so abhorrent it's got everyone chatting. Worse things happening! #humanpuppy
— Cara Sutra (@TheCaraSutra) May 24, 2016
— Cara Sutra (@TheCaraSutra) May 24, 2016
The other type of attack on Spot the human puppy, and puppy play in general, was the typical, “Won’t someone please think of the children?” Well ok then. Let’s just think about the children for a moment – what would they think of adults dressed up as dogs, not engaging in sexual activities, not showing any flesh and in fact completely covered up, happily indulging in fun frolics together? Yeah, I think they’d be scarred for life. I mean, it’s not like children ever get to see adults dressed up as characters and roleplaying being animals, is it? You’d never take your kids to a theme park and queue to see Pluto, Goofy, Donald Duck, would you? Mickey and Minnie Mouse? Filth.
I was at Pride Brighton last year and so I’ve had the opportunity to see just how damaging the vision of adult human puppies frolicking in front of young kids really is. Do you know how the children reacted to the group of Puppy Pride UK members there, dressed up and playing together? They thought it was great. I understand this is a special event, a happy occasion, a celebration of diversity – it’s not like someone who wants to be a human puppy or is into puppy play tends to dress up and crawl to the local Tesco with an oversized bone between his teeth as a habit. But on a special occasion, a celebration of fun? Yes, there are grown guys dressed as doggies and pretending to be puppies together. You’re appealing to the wrong crowd if you think children would find anything weird and wrong about that.
To the people who do think it’s weird and freaky and just plain wrong: perhaps you’ve lost your sense of wonder and fun. Maybe you can’t understand that there could ever be more to life than the black and white options of either rigid formality or sordid depravity. There’s plenty of shades of grey you know – or haven’t you heard about that?
Although for some adults puppy play is a fetish/kink and something sexual, it’s not necessarily sexual for everyone into the whole human puppy scene. Some people are aroused by dressing up as a dog and playing being a human puppy. Just like for some people, eating cake is a sexual turn-on. Has that revelation put you off cake for life? Do you never want to see someone eat cake in public again in case they are relishing a secret boner or damp knickers? Didn’t think so.
I liken it to kids building a house or rocket out of Lego. There’s a calm happiness that comes from having no other worries or responsibilities – from focusing purely on play without any other pressures on your mind. It’s difficult to once again experience that same level of worry-free play as an adult with the weight of life’s worries, experiences and responsibilities weighing heavily upon you. It’s really no surprise to me that some people – I’d even posit, deeper thinking people – need an outlet. Some space, an activity where they can throw off the burden of adult life for a little while and just play. Is that really so bad?
Take this playground chat after the human puppy revelation on This Morning:
Me, approaching group of mums obviously chatting about the programme: Hi, how’s it going.
A mum: Did you see that weirdo on This Morning?!
Another mum: Oh my god. He was such a freak. I can’t believe it was even on TV.
Me: Aw, I think it’s quite cute though?
Them: It’s a bit strange though innit.
Me: Well he’s not hurting anyone I guess. Whatever floats your boat and all that!
Them: Well I wouldn’t go anywhere near him. Blah, blah, weirdo freak.
I bit my tongue because it really wasn’t the time or place to get into a full-scale kink defence battle. But people, come on. What do you deem as not weird? If we’re talking about activities of a sexual nature, would that be just the missionary position every time? Maybe you’d like to go one step further and deem only sex for reproductive purposes morally acceptable? Is your sex life so clinical, so fun-free, so… boring, that you simply won’t allow anything to penetrate it than a carefully covered cock in the dark on a Friday night every fortnight?
Perhaps you’re a little more broad-minded. Maybe you’re ok with some ‘furry fun cuffs’ and a spot of light hand spanking.
Where do you draw the line?
More to the point, why are you the one drawing the damn line?
Who made you the universal arbiter of what’s good, right, moral and acceptable for other consenting, happily having fun adults, whose activities are really none of your fucking business?
I really love puppy play. Surprisingly -after that statement- it’s not my kink, but then YKINMK. I get a lot of joy from seeing other people get satisfaction from their liberating outlets as consenting, liberated adults and it really makes me angry that judgemental, narrow-minded people dare criticise others for whatever personal activities they choose -or need– to indulge in.
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