Prostate Massage 101: A Guide For Beginners
by Dave from MrRacy.com
Would you or the man in your life like to experience orgasms that are twice as intense? Or maybe even four times stronger? If your answer is YES, then you should know that prostate massage is the gateway to an entirely new level of erotic pleasure.
As society becomes more sexually liberated, a lot of those old taboos are falling like dominos. Prostate play, pegging and the like are becoming mainstream activities for men of all sexual orientations and desires. Almost like a sexual renaissance.
Major internet sites like Mashable, Alternet and Lifehacker are writing about it. Sex toy manufacturers like LELO and Fun Factory are releasing dozens of innovative new toys designed specifically with prostate pleasure for men in mind. Open your favorite internet browser and type in prostate massager or prostate toy, and you’ll see a sample of what’s available.
There are tons of toys available out there, but nobody really talks about how to use them, or how to practice prostate massage in general. Until now. The remainder of this article is a “how-to guide” that walks through the basics, with fun AND safety in mind.
Table of contents
- What’s all the hype about prostate massage?
- What is a prostate gland?
- What is prostate massage?
- Who is it for?
- How to locate the prostate?
- How to stimulate the prostate?
- What does prostate stimulation feel like?
- What is prostate orgasm?
- Patience is a virtue.
- Don’t touch the penis!
- Does prostate play make a guy cum?
- What’s a good prostate toy for beginners?
- Always use lube!
1. What’s all the hype about prostate massage?
The ultimate goal of prostate play is to have an AWESOME orgasm. Plain and simple. The only items required are a finger or prostate toy and some lube!
This level of sexual satisfaction often exceeds that of orgasm from ejaculation. The area to target is his prostate gland. Applying gentle pressure to it brings forth feelings of pleasure, ecstasy and well-being.
When performed properly it can induce the most explosive, body wrenching orgasms a guy can possibly have!
2. What’s a prostate gland?
It’s a walnut-sized organ that is found exclusively in men. Located in front of the rectum, between the bladder and the penis, it secretes a fluid that feeds and protects his sperm.
But it’s not just for reproduction. When properly stimulated, it’s the epicenter of massive sexual pleasure for him.
3. What is prostate massage?
In the simplest form, it’s the act applying gentle pressure and rubbing a man’s prostate gland. It’s generally performed with a finger or a toy. Some guys use dildos, other guys use vibrating devices. Doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as it’s body safe and designed for that purpose!
4. Who is it for?
This royal pleasure may be enjoyed by anyone with a prostate (sorry ladies). It makes no difference if you’re black or white. Gay or straight. Old or young. Any guy can learn it and love it.
It’s great for single guys who want to take masturbation to a new level, beyond just wanking off. Those personal handjobs get boring sometimes, right?
And for couples? It’s a fantastic way to spice things up in the sack. I’ve had a “toolbox” full of sex toys in my bedroom for a number of years now. At least one of them finds their way into our bed two or three times a week!
5. How to locate the prostate
The most direct way is going in through the rectum. Finding this hot spot is a simple procedure. All you need is a spare finger, some lube and a few minutes.
Here are 5 simple steps to help you out:
- Tidy up down there! This means taking a shower or bath to cleanse the area in and around the rectum. I’m a clean freak, so this may or may not be necessary for you.
- Make sure your fingernails are trimmed! Jagged edges are a no-no down there.
- Get into a comfortable position that allows you to easily reach around and insert your finger into your anus. I personally recommend you lie flat on your back, knees bent with feet pulled toward your butt. Placing a pillow under your rear may be helpful.
- Apply a few drops of lube on your index finger and/or anus and gently slide it into the rectum. Stop when you get to the second knuckle. Then curl the tip of the finger up, toward the belly button.
- Now, GENTLY feel around in there. You probably won’t feel much of anything pleasurable. But pay close attention. There is an area that’ll give you a very slight tingle or buzz once you hit it. Just be patient. The sensation varies from guy to guy. If you still don’t feel it, adjust the depth a bit.
You won’t be able to touch the prostate directly. There is a rectal wall that separates the anal canal and prostate. When sticking your finger in there, you’re applying pressure to this wall, which transmits pressure to the gland.
When you find it, be gentle. Don’t start banging away in there until you know what you’re doing!
6. How to do it
This “how to” section is for playing solo with a hands free toy, like the Aneros Helix Syn (smaller) or Aneros Progasm (bigger). Other toys work well, but these are the ones I suggest for beginners. Doing it with a partner is even better as you can lay back and relax while they are doing their thing.
There are plenty of different techniques out there. Every prostate player has his own routine and knows what works best for them. The key to being successful is mostly a state of mind. This means you need to be receptive, calm and relaxed for the duration of the massage.
This could be an entire article of its own, but I’ll summarize it the best I can. I’m gonna tell you what works for me. It’s a great baseline for getting started.
Preparation – 5 key things
- RELAX – before doing anything, it’s important to relax both the mind AND body. For me, this beginning preparation is essential to a successful session. A hot shower, soothing music, a body massage or a combination of all three will do the trick.
- TIME – it’s wise to set aside AT LEAST an hour. Two hours is best. Anything less and it would be best just to wait until you have the spare time to dedicate. This isn’t like traditional masturbation with the penis, where most guys can get off in a few minutes.
- TOYS vs FINGERS – fingers are OK, but using dedicated prostate toys is better. Personally, I don’t find fingers to be all that effective. They’re too skinny, they aren’t long enough and it’s difficult to apply consistent pressure with them. A consistently full feeling in the rectum when using a toy is what gets me off. Fingers can’t provide this.
- BOWEL MOVEMENT – try to have one of these an hour before starting and before the shower. It’s not a requirement, but it could help avoid a messy situation. On a side note, you could even douche. I don’t find this necessary, however.
- HAVE EVERYTHING READY – this means having lube, towels, etc. within arms reach. The last thing you want is to have to run and get something while enjoying yourself.
Get into position
This involves getting your body in the right position that makes it easy to access the rectum. The best position for beginners is to lie in bed, on the back. Bend the knees up and pull the feet toward the butt. You should be able to easily reach down between the legs to insert the toy or finger.
This is also the perfect time to apply lube to both the toy and the sphincter. Don’t get skimpy, either. A little too much lube is better than too little. Your rectum will thank you for it.
Insert the toy, then relax
Once the toy is in place, relax. Hopefully you have some soft music playing in the background. Make sure the TV and cell phone is off! No distractions from this point forward. This is all about YOU and your experience.
This is a great time to lay back, close your eyes and get used to the toy that’s buried in your bum. I recommend doing this for 20 minutes or so. This gives the body some time to adjust, and for the muscles down there to relax.
Contract and release
After the initial 20 minute relaxation phase, it’s time to get to work. This is where I start my kegel exercises. You’ve probably heard of women doing this to strengthen the muscles in their vaginas. Well, men can do it too, and it pays dividends during self prostate massage.
Performing these kegels is a matter of contracting and releasing your pelvic floor. If you’re not sure what that means, here’s how you do it: it’s the same sensation you experience when stopping urination in midstream. When cutting urination prematurely, you’re contracting those same muscles. Do this repeatedly, holding the contraction and then releasing. Pause between each set for a few seconds, then repeat.
The first few sessions performing this contract and release will cause these muscles to get tired prematurely. It’s just like weight lifting. If your muscles aren’t used to working, they will get tired easily. And just like weightlifting, the more you practice, the stronger you get. As you learn to develop those muscles, prostate massage will become more pleasurable and orgasm will be easier to achieve. This is why I tell guys NOT to expect an awesome prostate massage followed by orgasm the first time. Or even the tenth time!
PRO TIP: these muscles can be exercised in your spare time! Practice this “lifting” motion while at the office in a chair or at home on the couch.
Ride it out
At this point, just keep doing the contract and release as mentioned above. If your muscles get tired, take a break. Resume when ready. Again, don’t expect to reach orgasm if you’re just starting out. Just enjoy the experience, knowing that you’ll reach your goal someday.
With some dedication and practice, you’ll learn what works best for you.
7. What does it feel like?
Prostate massage for sexual pleasure has two components: the massage itself, and the prostate orgasm (covered next). They are two very separate events, with the latter sometimes being a challenge to discover.
The massage itself is quite relaxing. For me personally, it’s a primal thing. The sensation of fullness in the rectum is wonderful, but may take some time to get used to for beginners. The feeling of a toy or finger in there, gently nudging up against the gland and massaging the anal canal simultaneously is divine.
If you’ve done everything correctly, practiced your kegels and your body is receptive to it, the orgasm will come soon…
8. What is prostate orgasm?
Important FACT: prostate orgasm NEVER originates in the genitals. Yes, there is heightened sensitivity around the man parts, but that’s not where it begins.
As you probably guessed, the prostate orgasm is the pinnacle of the experience. I know it’s close when I feel a warm sensation throughout my midsection. A sensation of heightened pleasure begins to overtake my body. Sometimes my midsection begins to quiver uncontrollably, causing me to arch my back and momentarily lose track of what heck I’m doing!
These are involuntary contractions. For me, there is no way to stop them. I just let it go and enjoy the ride. Sometimes they last for 10 seconds, sometimes for a couple of minutes. Even when the orgasms have come and gone, I’ll experience relaxation of mind and body for several hours after. Talk about being therapeutic! I have reports from friends that this is very helpful for their depression and anxiety. I’m no doctor, but I definitely understand why that would be true.
9. Patience is a virtue
This is where many guys throw their hands in the air and give up. They simply don’t have the patience and desire to make it happen. It’s HIGHLY UNLIKELY that he will experience this type of orgasm with the very first attempt. In fact, it probably won’t even happen after a dozen attempts.
Prostate massage ending in orgasm requires LOTS of practice and LOTS of patience. Some guys are just lucky, though. They can orgasm at will. Other guys it takes months to perfect the technique. And for some guys, it will never happen.
10. Don’t touch your penis!
This may seem counter intuitive, but touching or stroking the penis during prostate massage should be avoided. Does it feel good to do so? Hell yes it does! But it’s best to leave it alone until the very end.
11. Does it make a guy cum?
No, not really. It’s common for a guy to have significant leakage from his penis while all this is going on. But some guys don’t drip at all. And some guys are somewhere in between. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a leaker or not. This “discharge” is essentially pre-cum, just like when you get sexually aroused.
If you WANT to cum, save that for the grand finale. This is how I like to finish my massage sessions. Once I’ve had all the prostate Os I can handle, I’ll finish myself off with a vigorous hand to penis jack off session. For me, the resulting amount of ejaculate is MASSIVE. It’s always wise to have towels handy for clean up.
12. What’s a good prostate toy for a beginner?
In my opinion, the Aneros Helix Syn is probably the best prostate toy to start out with. A second choice would be the Aneros Progasm, although it’s slightly larger in diameter. They are both inexpensive, high quality, and designed SPECIFICALLY to stimulate a man’s G-Spot.
13. Always use lube!
Lube is a necessity for prostate play. Something cheap like AstroGlide will work just fine. Playing around in a rectum that’s not properly lubricated is just asking for trouble (tearing and bleeding are possible). Play it safe and sensible by being liberal with your lube, and you’ll never have any problems.
There’s really not a whole lot to it! The massage is the easy part. Prostate orgasm is more difficult. Like any other personal journey, practice makes perfect. In time, it will become second nature as the critical muscle groups that surround the prostate get stronger.
With dedication and practice, it’s a wickedly erotic experience for you or the guy in your life. So what are you waiting for?
About the writer: I’m Dave, and I run a blog called MrRacy.com. It started out as a pet project. I initially wanted to start some discussion regarding the taboo aspects of male sexuality. Well, here I am, a year later. Still learning. Still blogging. And I’m loving every minute of it.
Mr. Racy is site for guys, written by guys. The focus is primarily prostate pleasure. But we also have a nice collection of erotic short stories. Did I mention the male sex toy reviews?! Most important, it’s a judgement free zone. Everyone is welcome.
Here’s an interesting stat: 27.4% of my blog visitors are women! Apparently the fairer sex has a healthy interest in prostate pleasure as well!