Dirty Talk Tips From The Expert
“Using Your Words” in role-play
In my last column, I laid out a few ways and reasons for you to sound like yourself when you’re having sex. Today, I’m going to share with you some ways to sound like someone else, in a short discussion of the vocal aspects of role-play.
Role-playing involves taking on a character or a power dynamic that you and your partner don’t normally do. It’s improvised acting. It’s sexual theatre! So go ahead and get the costumes and the set pieces and the props all laid out, but if your role-play involves talking in any way, here are some important considerations:
- Find your motivation. This is almost a joke phrase among actors, only because we use it so much. It’s really important, in terms of creating a powerful scene, so definitely talk about it with your partner(s): what is it that intrigues you about this scene? Do you want someone else to take charge? Do you want to feel trapped or constrained? Do you want to be humiliated? Do you want to be sexual in a more brazen way than you would normally allow yourself? Do you just want to wear that pretty-princess dress? All are legitimate reasons that will help you set up your scene.
- Figure out logistics. Once you’ve identified what it is that attracts you about the particular scene or roles, then think about how you and your partner(s) might build that into your playtime, and what are reasonable ways of getting to that. Maybe it’s not important to either of you whether or not the scene makes sense, but if it is, then you need to consider it. Otherwise you will have that moment in the middle of the scene, when one of you stops and says, “Wait, pirates aren’t like that,” or “but how did suddenly 20 guys show up here?” In paid phone sex, I have to deal with logical disconnect or continuity issues all the time. In the service of fantasy, I have learned to stifle my giggles and just go for it, but you may not want to do that.
- Decide how the scene is going to start. That stuttering moment at the beginning of a scene is a common occurrence in phone sex role-play, because my client and I don’t have time to set the scene. They may just outline a simple thing for me—“you’re my mom”—and I have to decide what’s going to happen and how to begin. It’s not my favorite part of role-play calls, to be honest. I’m not psychic, and when there are many ways I can take the caller’s (limited) direction, there are many ways it could go wrong. However, it did teach me the value of my next point…
- Make your first line confident. If you and your partner have more skill in playing and games, and you want to try just springing a scene on them, do it and don’t look back. That doesn’t mean that you have to be the dominant one in the scene. Just be clear about your role, and give the other person an obvious jumping-off point. For example, “I’m sorry I’m late with this report, ma’am” or “Yarrr, wench, and ye were lookin’ mighty fine swabbin’ the deck this morning!”
- Be choosy if you change your voice. You may be tempted to load up on an accent and pitch your voice higher or lower, and slow it down, and make it gravelly. Unless you are a trained actor, you will have a hard time maintaining vocal changes over any sustained amount of time—I mean even finishing two sentences, never mind a half-hour scene—and the more your play-acting voice differs from your own voice, the harder it will be. My advice? Pick one quality and try that one out. Most people are not going to be sticklers for 100% authenticity. You just want one thing to suggest that you are playing someone different from your normal self.
The main thing is, don’t get hung up on whether you’re doing the voices “right”. Talk is only one of the toys that you and your lover(s) get to use in role-play. If you’re getting turned on and having fun—or at least busting a gut laughing—then you’re doing the voices right.
– Cameryn Moore
About the writer: Cameryn Moore is an award-winning playwright/performer, sex activist and educator, sidewalk pornographer, and a long-time phone sex operator. Her work in theatre, literature, and activism/advocacy is both a challenge and invitation to adventurous audiences everywhere. She is the writer and performer of four solo shows: Phone Whore, slut (r)evolution, for | play, and The Pretty One (and other things that need to be said). To date, she has toured these shows to nearly 50 cities around the world.
Cameryn Moore is the creator and host of Smut Slam, a storytelling open mic, and Smut Slam Cabaret, both featuring real-life, first-person sex stories. When not performing, Cameryn sets up her world-famous traveling Smut Stand, providing bespoke typewritten erotica on the spot to happy drunks and discerning passersby. She currently winters in Montreal, which is exactly as stupid as it sounds.