Fireworks in the Bedroom
I’m as guilty here as the next person. When it comes to sex with your partner, or even solo fun, it’s so easy to find yourself in a rut. Bedtime, the lights are out, a brief cuddle, you slip under the duvet to attend to them or they snuggle up behind you – and oops, I’ve slipped inside. Or, if you’re single, you head off to bed and whack out that predictable O with your old faithful from the bedside drawer before letting it fall to the floor and drifting off to sleep.
Just because a certain routine works for you, doesn’t mean it can’t be improved on. Repeat anything enough and it becomes mindless – perhaps even a chore in the worst cases. None of us would ever want to feel like that, or for our partner to feel like that.
So what are some easy ways to shake up your sex life a little – and introduce some fireworks in the bedroom?
- Ignite your sexual senses
By introducing a blindfold in couples’ sex games and intimacy you heighten other senses. Removing your sense of sight forces you to focus more intently on other stimulation. Just think of those other senses: scent, sound, taste and touch. Then think of all the ways they can be sexed up when you can’t see.
A blindfold takes even the simplest foreplay ideas to a completely new level. Something as basic as a feather tickler feels like your new favourite toy when you don’t know when or where you’ll be stroked next, and being fed delicious tidbits of food by your partner (when you have no idea what the next morsel will be) is totally exhilarating.
- Stoke the fires of passion
Now you’ve properly awoken your body and senses to sex, it’s time to raise the temperature even more. Light some candles (but take your blindfold off first).
No, I don’t mean a couple of tealights for a cosy atmos.
Massage candles melt into a body safe massage oil which your partner can drizzle on to your skin leading to a luxurious and sensual massage. This massage can be as relaxing or as erotic as you both wish. Imagine how sexy it will be if you still have that blindfold on.
Fancy something a little spicier? Waxplay candles burn at a lower temperature than household candles (the wax from those should never be used on any part of the body) and so the can be safely dripped on to you. Yes, for fun. If you’ve got a penchant for punishment then you’ll love the little zings of pleasure that shoot through you whenever a hot dot of wax drops on to your breasts, tummy, thighs or back. Kinky!
Just make sure you have some waxplay candle friendly sheets down first, or at least some old sheets or towels you don’t mind getting messy…
- Plug-in for a pleasure explosion
You knew it was coming – let’s face it, everyone around knows when I’m coming with this. It’s my favourite, the Doxy Massager. This supremely powerful wand vibrator gets me seeing stars every time, and in record time at that.
Using it on yourself will feel spectacular enough, but when a partner uses it on you – perhaps grabbing that blindfold back again or some sexy bondage – yeah. Explosion is the right word.
- Enjoy a colourful visual display
Surely there’s a bit of voyeur and exhibitionist in all of us. There’s something about being able to watch yourself masturbate, or watch as your partner expertly licks and fucks you into next week. Make the most of the tech most of us have on hand and consider making your very own private porn film. You could film yourself masturbating and show your partner later (safer than sending it to them via any method!) or film yourselves having sex and enjoy watching it together in a happy post-coital haze.
Even if no one else will ever see it (my personal preference!), even if it’s deleted straight after – it’s a raunchy adventure that will have your pulses racing whenever you remember it. One more tip: turn off automatic upload to the cloud!
If you don’t want to risk filming anything, simply setting up a mirror at the right angle (take care it won’t fall on you!) can give you that voyeur/exhibitionist factor without any need to worry. You might want to consider investing in this gorgeous LUVVU mirror if you have the budget.
- Slide comfortably home
…via the road less travelled. Once your sex play has taken you beyond merely titillated, beyond seriously aroused, beyond hot, steamy and orgasmic – you might want to try for the icing on the sexplosive cake. Anal play.
Now, I know anal sex and anal play isn’t for everyone but if you haven’t tried it before, at least give it a go before writing it off forever. That goes for you as well, boys – read my latest article over at Save My Blushes if you have any issues with anal play for guys.
As November is, of course, Movember month, there’s even more reason to check out prostate massage (if you’re lucky enough to have a prostate) – find out where yours is, how to stimulate it and the health benefits of doing so. Then donate to the cause if you can, of course!
Women can also enjoy anal stimulation – not just via anal sex from her partner but also by using butt plugs during masturbation and sex as an added sensory factor. Whether the butt plug is small or large, static or vibrating will be down to your personal preferences of course. There’s even material choices to consider: flexible or rigid? Silicone, glass or metal? Choices, choices!
However you explore anal play, make sure you have an adequate supply of lube available – this will keep everything running smoothly.
If you have any other ideas and ways to make a solo or shared life truly explosive, I look forward to reading them in the comments below.
Happy Bonfire Night everyone!