How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner – A Model’s Guide

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner – A Model’s Guide

By Hella Rude

Taking a great sexy selfie: In case of any doubt, please let me say it for the record: models don’t ever look quite like their photos, and for good reason. What works well in the context of a photo just doesn’t work in real life.

If you catch models out with photo-ready make-up, it’s likely they’re on their way home. That shit is caked on and more often than not, looks pretty ridiculous in the cold light of day. When I self-style for photoshoots, I use a camera to help apply my make-up.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

Beauty dishes, lamps, walls of polystyrene, reflectors, snoots and shutters are among some of the tricks employed in the studio. They illuminate, blur out as many “flaws” as possible and can change how your natural facial shadows appear. Cameras are alchemists of the highest order, with a variety of settings, speeds and other fancy tricks to capture something that literally isn’t there in real life.

The angles and poses are just so, a 5-hour shoot feels like 5 hours of yoga. I want to give a huge shout out to the Lovehoney crew who recently had me holding a very heavy guitar and a vibrator while posing in 6-inch heels for the Motorhead Official Vibrator shoot. You guys really put me through my paces and the final result was fantastic. But as you can see from my selfie, I look pretty different in the finished article – even when sat in the same spot.

This is the trickery of photography and styling, and it can be replicated by anyone with practice and a few YouTube tutorials.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

The people you see in photos are not the people who posed for the photos. Manipulated, adjusted and amended just-so in post production – on top of the smoke and mirrors of thick make-up and blinding lights. These pictures are ART. They are not meant to represent reality.

No matter who you are or how you look, you can be the subject of a sexy ‘model style’ photo. If you desire the polished finish that models have, then it simply takes the aforementioned components to fake it. That’s why I decided to take a different slant on this article than Cara probably expected. There are so many people who can teach you better than I can how to pose, how to do your make-up and what to wear for a sexy shoot. If I’m completely honest, I don’t give these things too much consideration in everyday life, and that’s the me I show *me* in *my* sexy selfies.

If you want to go to town on a self-shot photo set, here’s my guide on how to take the best sexy selfie…

1. Fuck What You Think of Your Body

Guys and girls, your body is smoking hot and designed for sex. You are sexy.Does your body give you pleasure? Does it give others pleasure? Everyone has a preference and you might not be everyone’s cup of tea but you sure as hell are a lot of people’s buttered crumpet. Learn to be at peace with how you look and ENJOY your body for the amazing tool it is. Use it, share it, love it and love with it.You only get one shot at this life and you shouldn’t waste it being afraid of what other people may or may not think. Like anyone cares anyway? We. Are. All. SEXY.

2. Get a Goddamn Tripod

It is impossible to take good butt pics without a tripod, your angles will make you look weird as. My adjustable mobile phone tripod cost me £5.99 from eBay, but if you’re not a cheapskate / as clumsy as me, then it’s worth investing in one that’ll go full height. If you like to break things, get the little one and always prop it up against something that won’t let it fall over. Also, turn vibrate off. RIP, many LG Nexus 4s.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner
3. The Timer is Your Friend

If you have to manually push the button, a bunch of your selfies will make you look like a deformed soul trying to rise from Hell – especially if you use the ‘good’ front camera for higher-quality shots. Gurntastic!Team your tripod with the timer and the world of sexy selfies is your oyster. And remember – use the selfie mode to FRAME the shot and take it with your proper camera. The better the quality of the photo, the more room you have for artistic crops.

4. Think About the Background

Nothing sinks a sexy selfie like a crap background. See below for reference.


How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your PartnerMake sure the background looks smart where possible, or block/crop as much out as you can. You can also try out vignette filters (see my tripod shots) to hide background clutter.

5. Wear What Makes YOU Feel Your Sexiest

Sexy selfies are shared fantasies, they’re as much for you as they are the person (or people) you plan to share them with. You should find your sexy selfie sexy too, so it stands to reason you should do what makes you feel the sexiest. Don’t try to live up to someone else’s fantasy version of you unless it does it for YOU.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner
6. Think About Lighting

You don’t need studio lights to create perfect pictures, but if you fancy one – mine cost £19.95 on EBay including the bulb/delivery/diffusing umbrella, and it looks pretty badass in my living room as a lamp. You can also use natural light, flash, household lamps, lamps with cloths thrown over them and candlelight, among other options. Be careful you don’t start any fires with your choice of lighting, passion aside.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

Bad lighting creates rubbish shadows and gives photos a dull ambiance. Take a look at this sexy model I lit with my photo light. From mediocre dyed orchid to supermodel orchid at the flick of a switch.


How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

Good lighting can define detail, fade/brighten backgrounds, create/wash out shadows and make colours appear more vivid/softer. Here’s an example of different random lighting and flash selfies wearing light make-up with heavy brows, taken in the same spot:

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

What will work best for you depends on a bunch of factors, like the amount of natural light in the room, the colours and proximity of walls, ceiling height, furniture that may cast shadows and all kinds of other stuff. The point is, experiment and go with what produces the best results. Don’t focus on your poses when setting up lighting, concentrate on what the colours and shadows look like, the scene you’re photographing (your canvas, if you like) and whether you like the finished product BEFORE you get involved. Also, tin foil and white sheets can create magic.

7. Consider a Giant Mirror

Taking a sexy selfie with a mirror is super easy. Turn off the flash, use good lighting and look into the lense via the mirror for eye contact. You can easily check your pose using both the mirror and the screen preview, so it’s a great place to check out which poses and angles you like the most. I’ve got a floor-to-ceiling mirrored wardrobe positioned next to the bed. Make of that what you will. Also – polish your mirror before you take photos (oops!).

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

8. Be YOU

We all have our own unique way of being sexy, make sure you work yours in your shots. You don’t need to be another finger-in-mouth girl or fish-faced pouter unless that’s how YOU rock sexy. Always be you, you hottie.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner

Yup, I love a fish-faced pout. So what? #Cheekbones

9. Edit – If You Want to

If you want to give your sexy selfie some real model treatment with little effort, there are a couple of apps you need to know about. Pixlr Editor is a mini online photo editing app that’s great for desktop platforms (also available as a mobile app). For mobile, I prefer Instagram and use the screenshot option on my phone followed by a crop if I don’t want to share the pics with the world. If you want to make a collage like my demo shots, check out the Photo Grid app (also available for iPhones).
How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your PartnerThe difference a single photo filter can make to a sexy selfie is massive, and it doesn’t take much to become a selfie-editing mastermind. Scroll through the options and choose the filter that complements the photo best. For this one, it’s:

1. Helloooo Gavin Henson orange.
2. Slightly less ghastly.
3. Ambient glow, dumb eye shadow.
4. Greasy Chelsea girl.
5. Myspace 2006.
6. 3 seconds in a ring with Ronda Rousey.
7. Ghostface. Given my choices, I’d opt for the side light – but you might disagree.

10. Don’t Try Too Hard

Harking back to point 1, YOU ARE SEXY. If at any point you find yourself getting upset, stressed or feeling not exactly cricket as a result of trying to take a sexy selfie, it’s not the one. Leave it and go back to it when you FEEL sexy. It’s more about your attitude than how you dress, pose or do your make-up. The look in your eye, the flushing of your cheeks and the swelling of your lips, the way your body moves when you’re being sexy… real, raw and honest. That’s what really makes a good sexy selfie. The rest is just glitter.

– Hella Rude


About the author: Hella Rude works as a freelance writer, model, adult e-commerce consultant and occasional TV presenter and actress. You can find her sassy, sensational and downright sexy writings at her author page here at Cara Sutra.

How to Take a Sexy Selfie for Your Partner


The above post does not contain any affiliate links

If you’ve enjoyed this post please buy sex toys here (this *is* an affiliate link and I get a small % of the sale). All pennies raised through affiliate sales go towards keeping this site open and full of sexy stories & more. Thank you!

1 COMMENT

  1. Some very good tips there for people thank you Hella & Cara! I don’t take a lot of selfies but when I do I shall channel this positivity! x

Please share your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.