Women Compare Vaginas In A Revealing Show And Tell
By Cara Sutra
Sneaky side-eye over the urinals. Super small condoms as a hilarious Secret Santa. Banter over a mate’s ‘missus’ being unhappy with what’s on offer. Men have been comparing cock size for years. Perhaps even the Stone Age man got a bit intimidated over cave paintings and phallic statues at times. Do women compare vaginas? Or is genital comparison just a guy thing?
Genital Insecurity – Not Just For The Boys
We know the whole ‘does size really matter’ issue is a hot topic for the boys, one that they constantly seek reassurance about from whatever source. Women’s glossy magazines spouting polls that in fact, 84%* of women say size doesn’t matter it’s what you do with it. It’s ‘not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean‘. Gay mags, gay porn. It’s the man around the cock, not just the penis itself. Don’t worry, boys. Size doesn’t matter. Honest. We just live in a society that idolises huge dick.
Then there’s the part of society which enjoys baiting the boys about their cock size. Hey, women have been subject to unfair comparisons for years – time for payback, right?! We’ve had to put up with being passed over for that younger girl with smoother skin, natural long blonde hair. Ditched for the woman with double D’s, and as a bonus those sizable breasts don’t keep her knees warm when standing up and armpits warm when lying down. Perky, bouncy, big tits. We’ve been told size matters and tiny tits just don’t get his cock hard and the pre-cum flowing.
Let’s talk about the deemed-to-be cock-receptacle, the man-sheath, the pussy. Women who have had kids? You’d better be squeezing your pelvic floor muscles at least 186 times a day or else your womb will slide out of your cervix. No man wants to thrust and not even touch the sides. And no-one wants the ‘village bike’, with a ‘bucket vagina’. It’d be like ‘throwing a sausage up the high street.’
And so some women play along with the sizist revenge, calling out guys who hurt or belittle them as having pin prick cocks, tiny dicks, not enough to satisfy a mouse’s ear. That thing that symbolises your masculinity to you? Yeah, it’s rubbish. Useless. It’s a Subway or no way – a foot-long or fuck off. Us girls are off to build blocks of self-respect and confidence by whooping at guys on stage who get their kit off, even if we’ve resented men for doing the same to women for years. We’ll come home and enjoy having you overhear us giggling with the girls about the size of that guy’s package. We’ll feed off your insecurity and we’ll knit your fears into a comfort blanket for ourselves.
Size. Comparison. Cock. Tits. Cunt. Sex. Gender.
An important point here: not all men compare women, not all women compare men. I am not saying that every single man and woman out there base their opinions of the attractiveness of the opposite or same sex (whatever your preference) on appearance, genital size or shape or anything else superficial. I am merely highlighting small (well, hopefully small) but loud groups in society which act in these horrible ways.
Negativity is always felt more keenly than praise and compliments; positive comments can be so easily written off by the paranoia of the human brain as shallow flattery or motivated by selfish agendas. Criticisms, even when quite obviously spouted by people with issues about themselves, are so easy to believe. They can take root quickly in the fertile soil of our shame-trained brains, and motivate our attitudes and actions when it comes to size and attractiveness issues.
Perhaps these seeds of doubt and dents in self-confidence were behind a recent conversation with a girlfriend.
We’ve had sex, this girl and I, and perhaps it’s the way of women to chat about every aspect of an event after the event has taken place. We hadn’t done the whole post-coital “So, what are you thinking?” as we lay in a just-surfaced-from-orgasm embrace. That would have been far too cringey and stereotypical. What we did do is debate over the details from the relative safety and comfort of our own homes, through the far less intimidating platform of instant messenger. Instant messenger is great for sex chat. Type what you want, hover over ‘send’, squeeze your eyes closed, press the button, hold your breath and hope they feel the same way.
Perhaps that’s just me. Maybe you’re all super confident folk who articulately and loudly express just what you want to do to your partner without worrying whether they’re going to vom over their dinner and run out of the restaurant, never to be seen again.
Anyway, we did the whole “so, you ok?” probing and eventually the chat came round to that night. Our sex. And yes, women compare vaginas. They just do.
Personal Pussy Pride
Bit of a (major) confession here: I do have self-confidence issues with my vagina. I’m proud of it, what it’s capable of but I still have those doubts creeping in. I mean it’s fully functional and healthy and all that, but I’ve had 3 pregnancies, two natural childbirths and I’m in my mid-30s. I do my pelvic floor exercises like a good girl (literally just did some there as I typed that, trained or what) but there’s only so much I can do with it. I’m not a nubile 18 year old anymore and I just have to get used to the fact.
Then there’s the aesthetics. I don’t find it very pretty. I don’t find vulvas all that pretty generally, if I’m honest. Oh yeah, they’re hella hot and fuckable and mmm and rawr and all that. Just not especially pretty. It’s a different thing, trust me. It’s my own pussy I’m most bothered about the look of, anyway – if there’s something most women excel at it’s the ability to feel insecure about at least one area of our bodies, if not five. Ten. Don’t even look at me.
I’d hinted before the sex date that I perhaps wasn’t as super-neat and butt bleached as an 18 year old porn star (shocker) but had reassured her that I keep myself hairless and smooth there, it’s all working a-ok and I’m up to date with my sex health checks. 100% healthy. It wasn’t until the post-sex IM rendez-vous that I really came clean about the worries I’d had. The labia being long and dangly. My pussy maybe not being tight enough for her enjoyment (yeah, it matters between girls too, not just around your cock fellas). A clitoris being unable to be stimulated to orgasm without the help of jackhammer level vibrations.
Generally not being able to offer her a pretty in rose pink, neatly tucked labia, glistens at the very thought of her breath upon it, tighter than a Tupperware lid, matched by a bleached arsehole, never been touched by another, virgin but ready to be lesbian fucked and fisted vulva and vagina for her intimate pleasure.
Then came the revelation: she’d felt exactly the same way.
Ok, so her worries weren’t exactly the match of mine and I won’t go into detail here as I don’t want to disrespect her confidence like that. Her pussy was absolutely beautiful but the knowledge that she’d had various worries to overcome the whole sex session awoke a realisation in me. It’s not just guys who compare genitals. Women do it too.
The Judgements Of Women
Not all women are bisexual, it’s true. But many women are quick to judge a woman if they see or hear that they don’t keep their pubic hair neatly trimmed. They also judge if a woman decides to have labiaplasty or surgery to get a ‘designer vagina’. I’ve slept with various girls through the years and vagina comparisons had happened before, but not in not quite so much detail. Women are so prone to drawing other comparisons too.
“Oh you’ve a much better figure than me.”
Or, “Your boobs are much better/bigger/perkier.”
Perhaps, “Your legs are amazing! Mine are like tree trunks.”
“Your hair’s gorgeous! I can’t do anything with mine.”
Then there’s the comparisons made in our heads, perhaps not quite as complimentary, mental scorecards to build up our own confidence in certain areas. Dark parts of the psyche which aren’t pleasant or kind and which I won’t go into here. You know what I mean, girls. Those phrases which start “At least I/my…”
Why Do We Do It?
Does this need to compare body parts, even to the point of a post-sex conference discussing each other’s vaginas, come from society or media pressure? Or does it stem from genuine worries which would always be within our adult minds, borne from a desire to be attractive and sexy for our sexual partner? I’m not sure. I do know that I’ve never met or spoken with a woman who is 100% happy with her body, inside or out, straight, bi or gay. And that makes me feel a little bit sad inside.
*I did make up this sentence – but it’s interesting to note that “researchers at UCLA and Cal State LA published a report showing that 84 percent of women feel “very satisfied” with their man’s penis size. Fourteen percent wish it were larger and 2 percent would prefer smaller. The 84 percent figure means that seven out of every eight women think their man is just fine [size-wise].”.
– Taken from a November 2014 blog post at Psychology Today.
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