cara sutra naked in bed

Sure, sex toys are fun and you can find many shapes, sizes, materials and vibration power strengths to suit your anatomy and personal desires. Although I have reviewed thousands of sex toys here at Cara Sutra, I don’t want anyone to think that you can’t enjoy a great sex life without sex toys. That’s why I want to make this point clear.

You can have a fantastic sex life even if you don’t have any sex toys at all.

That’s it. No sales patter, no links.

Of course this will come as no surprise to most of you. Well duh, you’re thinking. Of course you don’t need sex toys to have a great sex life. Should be obvious, Ms Sutra. Yes, I agree. It should. But it’s so easy to believe promotional hype that we need something extra, something more, something powered in order to make sex better, last longer, feel more exciting. That we need an accessory or two or three or four, because if something’s good naturally then why can’t we make it spectacular by adding something else into the mix?

secretary-outfit-hotel-800-2If you love sex toys and want to use them in your sex life then that’s your choice. It’s my choice too, 9 times out of 10. But that 10th time isn’t any less wonderful for the lack of them. It’s different. And I will go so far as to admit that it can feel closer and more intimate when there is absolutely nothing else but the feel of our skin together, rubbing over one another. Fingers entwined together or in his hair with the other round his cock. His hand around my throat while he plunges two fingers into my soaked pussy, excitement racked up from a day’s filthy foreplay over text or Skype. Taking our time over kissing, tasting each other’s natural taste rather than the cheap powder residue of chocolate body paint, or nauseatingly sweet flavoured lubricant with which we’re told to coat each other’s genitals. Just us, two people having sex. Sounds so simple. Sounds so perfect.

There are a lot of sex toys in this house. I work with sex toys, I write about sex toys, I’m in the sex toys industry. It’s difficult to get away from them, as if everywhere I turn I could look over my shoulder and see my stalker made up of bullet vibrators, silicone dildos and vibrating cock rings. I’m also a rebel and as soon as I feel like I should do something, that I’m obligated to do something, I don’t want to do it anymore. Call me a rebel. No go on, I like it.

That’s why I’m making a more concerted effort lately to get back to primal pleasure and leave the sex toys to one side. I’ll readily admit that his post is really a reminder to myself as much as a blog post to my readers. I’m not saying it’s easy to ignore the siren calls of the Doxy under the bed when I get to a certain point of the game. It’s hard to squeeze eyes closed against the neon pink of the iGino, which can bring me to orgasm much quicker and easier than doing it myself or trying to move his fingers exactly how I need them to go. But as much as sex toys are never a third party in our bedroom (or wherever we want to play), it’s lovely to feel that the sex toys are simply cuckolded voyeurs in the presence of our one-to-one coupling. Look: we can do this without you. You’re not needed, you’re simply left around for the time of my, our, choosing. You are not a requirement to a great sex life.


And it feels fantastic. To let go of sexual accessories and enjoy the natural heat of the moment, and his body, and him enjoying my body, and coming together for exploratory sex that doesn’t need anything else but us.




PS Although this post doesn’t follow the prompt for this week’s Wicked Wednesday (sorry Marie!), it is Wednesday and I actually wrote something, so here’s the link back to the meme 🙂

5 Responses to “Because sex toys aren’t required in order to have a fantastic sex life”

  1. Molly

    I completely agree about the intimate primal feel of his skin against mine as we take pleasure in ones another…. fingers, hair, skin, mouths…. Yep, I think you are absolutely right about that being in some way more!


    • Cara Sutra

      Mmmm – primal. Yes, I’m glad I used that word! Primal, carnal, natural… all very hot 🙂 Body on body, twisting and cavorting. True dirty dancing.
      Thanks for your comment 🙂

  2. Cara Sutra

    Thanks Marie. I do feel obligated to use sex toys quite a lot as they need reviews – but as I am toning down how many reviews I do I hope to leave them to the side more and more. Not ever entirely, because I bloody love my vibrators. lol
    It’s really difficult for me to orgasm with another person, which is why toys are usually such a help to me – and why I got on this path in the first place, I expect.

  3. Chintz Curtain (@ChintzCurtain)

    We tend to go in cycles with toys (by which I mean vibrators, dildos, etc., not ‘implements’). Sometimes we play with them, sometimes we don’t. It all depends on mood. If I’m being completely honest, I’d say that – aside from an actual penis – fingers are by far and away my favourite way to get off. Nothing that I’ve found so far really replicates the warm and the dexterity of them. Or the intimacy. Jane xxx

  4. sensualsolutions1s

    You’re right sex toys aren’t required to have great sex, but they do add a little something extra if you’re feeling adventurous with your partner. Or if you want to fly solo and need a helping hand (or vibrating stick). Maybe we do depend on them a little too much, but for some women it’s the only way to reach the big ‘O’. Some women simply can’t get there or don’t know how to until they’ve experimented with a sex toy. Each to their own though.


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