“Having A Baby Ruined My Vagina!” Does Childbirth Ruin Vaginas?
By Cara Sutra
Have you ever heard a woman say similar? “Having a baby ruined my vagina!” isn’t something you hear most mums say. So what’s the truth, does childbirth ruin vaginas?
1. Why is your vagina your main priority when deciding whether to have a child?
2. It’s a complete myth that having a baby ruins your vagina!
Are Your Fears Rational?
I’m a mum of two and I don’t understand women who choose not to have children purely because they are afraid of ruining their vagina and suffering with an inferior sex life afterwards. I can understand being afraid of labour and childbirth, afraid of any pain during or afterwards, and especially being worried about the responsibility of having a child. I just can’t understand making such a huge life decision based on how you think it’s going to affect your vagina.
Sure, your vagina is an important part of your anatomy. Also, not every woman wants children and they are not an essential part of life – although many people feel that they are. They’re an emotional as well as physical investment. Is your vagina more important than depriving yourself of a child, if a child is going to be an otherwise wanted part of your lifetime?
In any case, having a baby does not as a rule ruin one’s vagina. Admittedly, there are exceptions to this rule, as there are exceptions to most rules. There will always be a chance that your childbirth will not go according to plan and that you may require follow up treatment to return the vaginal elasticity to your previous, happily baby-free sex zone. However, none of the women I have known who have had babies have had to opt for post-natal surgery, suffered any newsworthy trauma and horror during childbirth and I can’t think of a notable time in the news or in my circle of friends where a woman had a mangled foofoo due to labour and childbirth.
After childbirth you will understandably have a different vaginal area, whether temporarily or permanently. Not bad different, necessarily – just different. In the first few months after childbirth your vagina is looser, however there are ways to deal with this. It all requires hard work and daily commitment, but I think it’s worth it and I am sure women who value their vaginal tightness agree. Breastfeeding, if that’s your choice when it comes to feeding and you’re able to, is a great natural way to tone your vaginal muscles. It helps the uterus return to it’s pre-pregnancy size as well. Doing your pelvic floor muscles is an ongoing way to ensure that your vagina is as tight as you like. You can read about pelvic floor muscles and why they’re important here.
Keep It Toned
Having regular orgasms is a fantastic way to tone your vagina, as is penetrative sex with your partner. There are sex toys such as love eggs, jiggle balls and kegel exercisers which you can use to help as well. It will probably take time to feel in the mood though; the first few weeks after baby are often fairly sleepless. Also, having a little one in the bedroom with you is not conducive to a frenetic sex life, even if you’re not grappling with maternity pads, disposable knickers, stitches and the rest. Sexy, huh.
Once you’ve healed and your baby is in more of a stable routine when it comes to feeding and sleeping, you will find that your sex drive stabilises too and you return to your natural libido. If it doesn’t you should seek medical help from a professional as you may require post-natal counselling or medication. I will not make out that I am qualified to help you beyond giving advice based on my personal experiences and the feedback of my friends and women I have spoken with.
Pelvic Floor Exercises FTW
Even though I breastfed both my babies, still do my pelvic floor muscles when I remember and have a happy sex life and regular orgasms, my vagina is not the same as it was before I had kids. Just like my tummy isn’t concave and the skin on my belly and thighs isn’t clear and stretch-mark free. It takes some time to come to terms with your new post-baby body, and body acceptance after a baby is a huge issue for some (perhaps most) women. I certainly struggled with it and still do. I wouldn’t go back and decide not to have my kids though, and although that’s easy to say now when I can look at my children and feel love for them, the knowledge that having babies could and probably would change my body didn’t stop me having them.
Make Decisions Based On Facts & Research
Before you make such an important decision based on what you think may happen to your vagina (and probably won’t), it’s worth thinking again. Talk to people – both medically qualified and otherwise – learn the facts and make sure you don’t miss out on what could be the most amazing adventure of your life.
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