Alternative review of the Fantasy by Cara Sutra Beginner’s Bondage Kit, by Girl on the Net

On dog leads and bondage kits

“It has a dog lead!”

“I know, right? That’s pretty…”

“Weird?”

“Unusual, for sure.”

“Awesome. It’s awesome.”

I’m getting drunk with friends and doing what we do most nights when there’s nothing on the telly: playing with a pack of sex toys.

OK, so this doesn’t actually happen that often, other than in my more fevered sex dreams. But it did happen on this one occasion.

Fantasy_Cara_SutraThe lovely Cara Sutra had sent me a sample of her Fantasy Bondage Kit – a collection of leather and rope and other exciting goodies designed to give lusty joy to both first-time BDSM fans and those who’ve a bit more experience. She knows her stuff, does Cara, being not only a prolific sex writer but also a practitioner of all things D/S and an incredibly filthy girl. I know this for a fact because I got tanked on wine with her and we ended up sprawled on the bed in someone else’s hotel room chatting about the things you can make submissive guys do for fun.

So. When she sent me this kit, I thought it would be fun to seek opinions from some people other than myself. I have a collection of various sex toys, but I’m hardly a sex toy expert – a lot of my own bondage play has been improvised using stockings, ethernet cable and – during one particularly low point – string. As far as bondage kits go, there surely can’t be that much difference between one and the other, right?

Wrong. And it’s all to do with imagination. Yes, all kits differ in quality, depending on how much you’re willing to pay. I’d suggest that if you’re a beginner you don’t go forking out £300 for something super-luxury, just in case it doesn’t float your boat and you end up having to give it away on Freecycle to a middle-class hipster couple who’ll recycle it and turn it into an orphanage or something. I know little about quality (see above re: string) but Cara’s cuffs are good and solid, the rope likewise, and you get a hell of a lot for £69. I reckon that’s an eminently decent starting point to begin your foray into tying, beating, and calling your loved one a ‘dirty slut mongrel’ while they lick cold custard off your feet.

It contains all the things you could need for the BDSM staples: a flogger for hitting, wrist and ankle cuffs which clip together for restraining, rope, a blindfold, a ball gag – all that stuff. But here’s where it’s a bit different: it also comes with a collar and lead. That’s right – an actual collar and lead. I’ve had a look around, because initially I wondered if I was just being naïve about the stuff you get in bondage kits these days, but no. Although there are some examples, most kits just come with the standard cuffs/flogger/blindfold and possibly some rope if you’re lucky.

Why is a leash significant, though? It’s ultimately just a piece of equipment, another thing in the drawer, another piece of the BDSM puzzle. But, as my friends (some vanilla, some kinky) pointed out, it’s unusual. Weird. Awesome. The rest of the kit consists of tools to do things you’ve always imagined doing: flogging your partner or being flogged, getting hogtied then shagged so hard it makes you want to cry with joy, all that stuff. Those things can be used for dominance and submission, but are also often just an ingredient in deliciously rough and dirty sex. The leash hints at something more: subservience, power, grovelling.

We all know about ropes and floggers and cuffs – they feature not just in porn but in most erotica, in sex tips and magazines and That Book. But while it might be easy to ask your partner if you can handcuff them because you’ve seen this one tip in Cosmo, it could be a hell of a lot harder to explain the thrill of an actual power exchange. Of you giving yourself over to them, or them to you, to be led and moulded and treated and punished and all the things I personally love about being at the collar end of that strip of leather.

You might not like that kind of thing, of course. But judging by how even a couple of my vanilla friends were keen to put it on, and be playfully led from sofa to garden, back to the sofa and straight onto my lap, it’s certainly intriguing to many. And not just in a giggly ‘oh we’ve had too much wine and sex toys are funny’ way, in an ‘ooh, I think I could get to like this but I’m not sure I’d admit it when sober’ way.

This is why I don’t do sex toy reviews usually, you see – while I appreciate a well-made flogger, or admire the gorgeous curves or amazing power of something new and vibrate-y, ultimately sex for me is always about the passion. The imagination. Discovering brand new possibilities, then tying those possibilities to your bed and beating them until they’re rubbing themselves against your bedsheets.

Ahem.

I’ve loved BDSM for as long as I can remember – since before I even truly loved sex. But the pain was never the point. I’m not a masochist – I’m barely capable of taking a five minute spanking without crying a bit and asing for a break. Nor am I tied in rope bondage for hours each weekend, appreciating the elaborate shapes my partner can make as he knots my limbs into an abstract tangle. I love BDSM because of the dynamic. The ‘I want to do this to you and it’s dirty and hot’ – the enthusiasm of the guy who is topping me. The way he looks at something new and his eyes light up as he gets a filthy thought. I love being the vessel into which he pours his lust, and the object on which he takes out his sexual frustration.

I want to get spanked, but only if it gets him hard to spank me. I want to get tied up, but only because my legs tied at this angle make my cunt tight and perfect to fuck. I want to be the one who is led, and who is dominated. The willing object of his whims and desires. In short: I want to be the dog.

So. Not a review as such, more a round of applause. Cara Sutra has created something that taps into a market for BDSM gear – she’s produced a kit that caters to all those people who love bondage, whether they’re old to it or new. But more than that she’s added a little something that you wouldn’t always expect, something that got a fair few of my friends curious and gave me yet another reminder of why I love doing what I do.

 

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Girl on the Net blogs about filth and feminism over at girlonthenet.com, or you can follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

Post Script

Many thanks goes to the hot ‘n kinky Girl on the Net for writing up such a wonderful alternative review and allowing it to be shared here at Cara Sutra. I’m delighted to have introduced not just one but a whole group of people to the hotness of dog leads – aka collar and leashes in BDSM.

Glad you enjoyed the Fantasy by Cara Sutra bondage kit – and that it brings you (and any other lucky visitors and lovers) many more sexy adventures in the future. We may need to see about stealing another hotel room…

– Cara Sutra

 

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