A Beginners’ Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

By Cara Sutra

There’s quite a bit of confusion even in seasoned sex toys circles about what certain terms refer to regarding bondage sex toys and fetish gear. For this week’s Fetish Friday, I want to help clear up some of that confusion – with this handy guide.

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Collar

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A collar is very symbolic in BDSM. A collar is fastened around the neck and is usually made of leather or a similar material, then buckled to a secure fit. It may have additional D or O rings to which a leash or other accessory can be attached.

The one wearing a collar is usually the submissive, or bottom, in a roleplay scene, but not always. Many Dominants, particularly female Dominants, choose to wear a collar as a fashion statement. And why not? Some collars found in bondage sex toys categories of sex shops & at fetish markets are really quite pretty, you know.

Leash

A leash is a handy addition when it comes to collars. With a loop for a handle and a trigger clip at the other end, it can easily be attached to the D or O ring of a submissive’s collar and then used to direct them as and where you wish. Leashes can be used to restrain your submissive to furniture too, or simply held in your grasp as a physical and symbolic act of Dominance.

Shop for collars & leashes: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Blindfold or Eye mask

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

I tend to always refer to these as blindfolds for BDSM purposes. For me, eye masks are things you put in the fridge to help you soothe your eyes after a hangover, or to kickstart your latest detox craze.

Blindfolds that you find in bondage sex toys areas of sex shops usually have an elasticated area that fits around the head, and the best ones will have a shaped eye area, sometimes with a soft inner lining, that fits over the eyes. Blindfolds block out light and remove the submissive’s ability to see proceedings, so that other senses are heightened and the anticipation of what to come adds to the excitement.

Shop for blindfolds: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Ball Gag

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A ball gag is a gag for the mouth which consists of a (usually) buckle fasten strap that sits securely around the head, and a ball to the front centre. This ball is placed between your submissive’s teeth, pushed back comfortably into the mouth, while the strap is fastened as securely as possible.

Ball gags may be breathable (usually durable plastic with holes through to make breathing easier, ideal for beginners) or non-breathable (usually rubber balls, solid, without holes).

Shop for ball gags: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Other Mouth Gags

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Many find ball gags too large for their jaw and some can be so large they won’t fit into a petite submissive’s mouth at all.

There are other options for mouth gags. These include a bit gag (a plastic, leather wrapped or rubber rod in place of a ball), hook gag (comfortable hooks inserted to each side of the mouth), ring gag (an O shaped ring keeps the submissive from speaking but their mouth is still accessible) and dental (Jennings) gags (usually metal with rubber coated areas, and a side ratchet lever to open the mouth to your desired level).

Shop for other mouth gags: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Whips

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Whips cover a great many different punishment implements. Instead of using the hand for a spanking a whip may be selected. A whip is traditionally a corporal punishment item which has a single tail, like a bullwhip. More recently, in the bondage sex toys sphere, this term has come to be a catch-all term for whips and floggers.

I tend to refer to a single tail as a whip, while multi tailed items I refer to as floggers.

Flogger

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A flogger is a punishment item with a sturdy handle and more than one tail to deliver punishment to your submissive’s body. A versatile fetish item, a flogger can be used sensually with light, teasing strokes, or wielded more harshly to give stinging lashes to your partner’s bottom or other fleshy areas.

Flogger tails can be short and a flogger can have as little as 12 tails, while on others the tails or fronds are very long, may have additional knots or other items at the end of each tail, and they can often be in the region of 30-40 tails.

Shop for whips & floggers: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Paddle

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Unlike a flogger, a paddle is quite unapologetically meant for punishment and spanking. A paddle will usually be one piece, rather than quite definitively a handle and a punishment area. Paddles can be in a variety of shapes, from a ping pong bat shape to the longer, rectangular cricket bat shape.

More recent additions for sensual bondage kits and the like include heart shapes and paddles with lettering on, which should of course be mirrored if they are to impact the correct way round on to the submissive’s flesh, and leave a readable word on their behind after the session.

Shop for spanking paddles: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Riding Crop

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A riding crop is named after the equestrian tool of the same name. A slender implement, a crop has a flexible yet durable length with a wrapped handle and hanging/wrist loop at one end, while the other has a traditionally rectangular or square tip which is used to impact the submissive’s body.

Crops in sensual, erotic or beginner’s bondage sex toys kits are often developed with a novelty shape at the tip instead of the square of rectangular style. These may be teardrop or heart shaped, amongst others.

Cane

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Similarly to a riding crop, a cane is also a slender corporal punishment device. Traditionally a cane would be a literal bamboo cane, although canes made for BDSM punishment purposes can have a wrapped handle, a hanging loop, and can be either straight or with a schoolmaster style hooked end.

Canes deliver a sharp, stinging and more severe impact than the majority of other ‘spanking’ tools, so caution is advised if you’re not used to impact play.

Shop for crops & canes: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Hog Tie

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A highly portable yet extremely bondage sex toys accessory, the hog tie makes your existing ankle and wrist cuffs even more enjoyable to use.

A leather cross or X shape is finished at each of the four ends with a trigger or slip clip, while in the centre there is a metal ring to which the leather straps are attached. The trigger clips can be attached to an O or D ring on each cuffed limb of your submissive while they are face down on the floor. This forces their wrists behind their back and their legs spread and raised, in a typical ‘hog tied’ position.

Shop for bondage hog ties: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Clips and Bits

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Clips are always useful to have in the kit bag. Trigger clips have a spring loaded front, which when pulled down opens the clip area and when released allows it to close again.

Karabiner or carabiner clips can be either spring loaded which have a lever to allow a loop to be enclosed within, or a screw mechanism.

Clips are used to attach restraints, rope and other fetish gear to bondage furniture for the temporary measure of a roleplay session.

Shop for bondage accessories: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky USA Lovehoney

Vampire Gloves

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Vampire gloves are NOT to be used for spanking. If you want to play at all safely, that is. Quite worryingly, someone working at a sex toy shop once asked me if they should be sold at all because ‘can you imagine the damage from spanking or face slapping?!’

Vampire gloves are just like ordinary gloves, with one marked difference. They have pin points covering the inner surfaces of the palm, fingers and thumb. Not used for spanking, vampire gloves are for sensual play. When the wearer moves their hands gently over their submissive or partner’s body, it elicits much pleasure and stimulation. This is heightened when combined with the use of a blindfold. On the submissive, obviously!

Shop for vampire gloves: UK Lovehoney | Sextoys UK| UberKinky USA Lovehoney

Pinwheel or Wartenberg Wheel

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A pinwheel works on the same premise as vampire gloves, except that this is an implement you hold which looks a little like a pizza cutter. Yes, seriously. I have heard that some people even use pizza cutters in place of a pinwheel but being the sensible sex writer that I am I couldn’t possibly vouch for this as a safe practice. *ahem*

Pinwheels are also known as Wartenberg wheels, named for Robert Wartenberg who originally designed them to test nerve reactions and sensitivity as it rolled across the skin. (Thanks Wiki.)

Pinwheels are also enjoyable and effective bondage sex toys when used in combination with a blindfold on the submissive.

Shop for pinwheels & Wartenberg Wheels: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky USA Lovehoney

Cock Cages & Chastity Devices

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Orgasm control, chastity and tease and denial are all very popular in BDSM, for both men and women. Chastity devices are leather, metal or plastic shaped objects which fit around the genitalia for the purposes of removing the wearer’s ability to touch themselves there, for pleasure.

In the case of male chastity devices, the rigid plastic or metal material denies the wearer the chance to get an erection. There are many different styles and brands of chastity device or cock cages. Some have a padlock and key locking mechanism, others can be locked with numbered plastic tags and yet others are simply worn during the course of a session to restrict erections and aren’t locked at all. These are usually leather cock cages.

Shop for chastity devices & cock cages: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky USA Lovehoney

Bondage Restraints and Cuffs

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

Bondage means having your movement restrained, for the physical and psychological pleasure of both the one being restrained and the one doing the restraining.

Handcuffs in the traditional metal sense are typically used by beginners to bondage who often choose to upgrade these to a more comfortable and safer option after the first few sessions. Wrist and ankle cuffs, made from materials such as leather, suede and even silicone, fit around the wrists and/or ankles and are fastened securely. Often the cuffs will have an interconnecting chain which may or may not be entirely detachable.

Most ankle and wrist cuffs have D rings around the outer, which can have straps and clips attached to them with clips to restrain the wearer to a bedpost, under bed restraint system or other solid furniture.

Shop for bondage restraints & cuffs: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Bondage Rope

Bondage rope is an alternative restraint to handcuffs, ankle cuffs & other bondage sex toys. When forming artistic knots and harnesses on the submissive’s body with bondage rope, this is known as Shibari bondage. Shibari is a Japanese form of bondage, which is very artistic and usually requires some research and practice before you begin.

Bondage rope comes in a variety of lengths and materials, some better for harnesses around a person sitting, standing or laying down, while others are stronger and can be used in combination with a suspension piece of furniture and items like anal hooks.

Rope should never be placed around a person’s neck in a slipknot fashion and it’s best practice to keep medical scissors nearby in case the person requires immediate release at any time.

Shop for bondage rope: UK Lovehoney | BondaraSimply Pleasure | Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Spreader Bar

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A spreader bar is usually made from metal, or another rigid and inflexible material, and has rings or points at each end to which restraints or cuffs can be attached.

A spreader bar is fixed between the ankles, knees or thighs, although rarely it can be used between the wrists or elbows in front of or behind the submissive. These bars are used to keep the submissive from moving their legs closed, keeping them spread, accessible and at the (consensual)  mercy of their Dominant partner.

Shop for spreader bars: UK Lovehoney | Bondara| Sextoys UK| UberKinky | Ann Summers USA Lovehoney

Humbler

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

A humbler device is worn by a male submissive. It consists of two pieces of polished, smooth wood, specially shaped to be worn around the genitals. A two piece item, one piece is placed to either side of the testicles while the submissive is in an all-fours position. Screws are then tightened through either sides of both pieces of wood.

While the humbler is being worn, the submissive is unable to resume a standing position, therefore keeping them in a ‘humble’ physical position and hopefully, a more submissive frame of mind.

Shop for humblers: UK Lovehoney | Bondara | UberKinky USA Lovehoney

Spanking Bench

A spanking bench is a padded item of bondage furniture over which a submissive or scene ‘bottom’ is laid. They’re put there for the purpose of being spanked. Spanking benches come in various forms. They are made to be the right height and comfortable for the person in a spanking position.

Most often seen in fetish clubs and professional dungeons, spanking benches are the envy of many lifestyle BDSM’ers and can be a costly but greatly treasured investment.

Shop for bondage furniture: UK Lovehoney | Bondara| Simply PleasureSextoys UK| UberKinky USA Lovehoney

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

I hope this straightens kinky things out a little. 🙂 If there are any more bondage sex toys and fetish gear terms you’re not sure about, just comment below.

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys and Fetish Gear

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2 Responses to “Beginner’s Guide to Bondage Sex Toys And Fetish Gear”

  1. Cava Supernova

    Awesome post – great pics

    Reply

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