Kinky Valentine’s Day Ideas: The Alternative Romance Of BDSM

By Cara Sutra

Hearts, flowers, wine, chocolates, greeting cards… all this and more equates to the very best in romance that you can give your partner on Valentine’s Day, to prove your depth of feeling for them. So says commercialism, anyway. Even if your plans consist of a couple of hours together tonight, without work or the kids, possibly with a cheeky tipple, a pizza and a DVD, you may be wishing for a more exciting way to spice things up between you and your partner. How about a few kinky Valentine’s Day ideas?

Kinky Valentine’s Day Ideas: The Alternative Romance Of BDSMHave you ever enjoyed a fantasy of them tying you to the bed during foreplay and sex? How about all those spankings you’ve heard about, perhaps courtesy of the Fifty Shades of Grey global tidal wave over the last year or so? Maybe these are just distant mutterings to you. Things other people talk about that you’re not even sure you’d like. ‘Bondage’ and ‘kinky sex’ all sounds quite spicy and exciting but you’re not sure how to get going with it. Never mind how to talk to your partner about it or if they’d be up for it. If you’re honest, you’re not even sure you’re going to like it when it does get going. You could end up wondering what the point is. Well read on.

Screw Romance To The Sticking Place

For millions of people worldwide though, the spice of kink is their preferred way to show a romantic gesture to their partner. Does that sound weird to you? Oh, we’ve barely even started on the kinky Valentine’s Day ideas. It’s the world’s first International Male Chastity Day tomorrow – and instead of a medieval torture project, chastity is actually desired by many people. Placing a partner into a chastity device and controlling when they can masturbate, have sex and orgasm (consensually, of course) is just one way that couples worldwide use the channel of BDSM to express a connection. This leads to a strong bond, whether romantic or for role play between consenting adults.

That’s jumping in the deep end, I guess. So is expecting you to quickly research the ancient Japanese art of Shibari rope bondage and get your partner suspended, in an intricate rope harness, possibly with an anal hook accessory.

Take It At Your Own Pace

There’s easier ways to introduce kinky spice to your relationship, don’t worry. You’re not expected to don shiny, peephole apparel and start whipping strangers down the local BDSM club. Unless you want to.

So how are you going to spice things up? To kick-start our kinky Valentine’s Day ideas, maybe introduce the idea once foreplay starts going. While the warm-up is happening. Whether it’s commenting that you need to ask permission to touch yourself or that they should hold your wrists down while you’re being pleasured by them. Make sure you emphasise how much you’d enjoy feeling held down by them during the activity and watch their response.

Give bondage restraints a try if you happen to have planned ahead and have a set or two in the drawer. If you dabble with a more fun and flirty attitude rather than anything serious and darkly BDSM, bondage accessories become merely alternative sex toys rather than intimidating and scary items that only shadowy figures lurking in some underworld wield.

In a more Dominant frame of mind? You could tell your partner you don’t want them to touch themselves or orgasm until you say they can. During any regular day, why not tell them it would really turn you on if they wear something like an anal sex toy or a panty style vibrator. Take your ‘spicing up’ steps with patience and don’t rush anything, otherwise you could overwhelm your partner with your personal desires that they might not yet share in.

Beyond Valentine’s Day

Whatever you’re planning for Valentine’s Day, the romance shouldn’t end there. There’s so many ways in which you could be spicing up your sex life and enjoying new sensations either alone or with a partner all year round. BDSM is one outlet, a way of channeling desires and making them more tangible. It’s an activity I personally enjoy, in a variety of ways.

The traditional and more commercial aspects of Valentine’s Day might not appeal to you. That’s perfectly ok, in fact you can discover why the obligatory romance of Valentine’s Day seems stupid to me in this article. In that case, please try some of the kinky Valentine’s Day ideas above. By doing so you might have stumbled across the perfect way for you and your partner to become romantically and alternatively entwined for years to come.

Kinky Valentine’s Day Ideas: The Alternative Romance Of BDSM

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