Is Your Kink Identity Written In Your DNA?
By Cara Sutra
Can you inherit a kinky orientation? Is your kink identity written in your DNA? I really believe it is.
I don’t think you choose to be Dominant, submissive, or switch. Those labels that I’d call your kink identity. What I believe is that there’s the same likelihood of you having brown or blue eyes, or blonde, brunette or ginger hair, as you identifying as submissive or Dominant.
Why do I believe a kink identity is written in the DNA? Because this is an integral part of everyone’s character. In my opinion, even those who identify as vanilla are on the kink spectrum somewhere. Maybe I am terming that wrongly. Not the ‘kink’ spectrum; the spectrum of human desires, needs… fun?
Dominance: Not A Profession For Me
Today I was asked a question I have been asked on quite a number of occasions over the years.
“How long have you been a Dominant?”
The questioner was asking on behalf of national press, so I don’t blame the person per se. Not that I would anyway. It’s easy to liken being a Dominant person to being a carpenter, builder, teacher or doctor. ‘How long have you been in this profession?’ is what the meaning is.
My point is, I don’t see being ‘a Dominant’ as being a profession. It’s not a choice for me. I can’t switch it off and on, although I do find that the height of my more stereotypical Dominant nature – the locking slaves in chastity, the dressing in shiny clothes, the beating submissives with paddles and whips and so forth – comes in phases. However even if I am in the ‘low’ periods (not sure how else to term them) of my Dominant life, I am still a Dominant woman. It’s who I am, I can’t turn it off like a tap. Likewise, I don’t ‘turn it on’ and act, either.
Recently, I ‘came out’ (using that phrase as it amuses me) as a Lifestyle Dominant. I am not a Professional Dominatrix. That said, I respect pro-Dommes, I really do; but it’s not the life for me. I earn my keep by working. I write. Daily. I also sell advertorial services such as advertising space, social media support and consultancy to the adult industry.
Asking me how long I have been a Dominant is like asking me how long I’ve been female. How long I’ve had brown hair. How long I’ve been bisexual. My instinctive response is “erm, since ever?” but I guess the more accurate response is since adulthood. Reaching adulthood through puberty is when you start to realise your identity as far as sexual preferences, orientation and I guess gender goes. Experimentation leads to discovery, as has been widely researched and commented on in mainstream media with regards to sexuality and more recently, for gender identification.
Kink Orientation: Genetic Factors
I believe kink identity is something you cannot help or really, change. That is not to say it’s a ‘one or the other’ option: remember, switches are not only a viable and real part of the BDSM community, they are valuable and extremely fun. There’s a risk of viewing switches the same way that bisexual people have been putting up with being viewed for years: as greedy. That, however, is a whole different post.
One of the main reasons I think that kink orientation is genetic is because I know for a fact my paternal grandmother was Dominant. I found her ‘special collection’ of items when I was quite naughtily rooting through her wardrobe and drawers at the age of 8. Black, shiny expanses of material. Gleaming metal chain shackles. Catalogues full of black things with buckles on. I didn’t know what they were for – I was fascinated though. It was then I wanted to know more; yep, even at that early stage.
Dominatrix vs Dominant
Sometimes the question is termed a little differently, and that’s fine.
“How long have you been a Dominatrix?”
I see this as a different question, as it seems (to me, anyway) to relate to the practice of Dominance as a profession. Not merely identifying as a Dominant person, but practicing it on another person, whether as a romantic or play partner.
Not that I have done any medical research, please understand me, but I am inclined to think that if you have a lot of Dominant genes in your bloodline the chances are, you will be Dominant by nature too. There’s just no fighting nature.
The Early Signs
I’ve seen it even with kids; having family and being around families. Knowing people in vanilla, ‘normal’ (I suppose many would term it) life: I can almost predict what their kink orientation will be once they reach that enlightened time of adulthood.
After all, I was only a child when I was first exposed to the first twinkling lights of BDSM and kink and I felt a strange pull towards it, in one way over another; why would this just be me alone? I do not think children should discover anything of adult life before time, obviously. However, what happened, happened and I can only report on my life experiences here.
I can see parts of my nature come through from my parents in various other aspects of life. You know when you’re telling your kids off and you think, oh god, that’s my dad saying that. Or, oh no, my mum used to say that to me and now I am! Why would it be so unbelievable that kink orientation, something so strongly felt and an integral part of life for so many, would have nothing to do with genetics?
How About You?
I wonder if all in the BDSM scene feel the same way, that their kink identity is written in their DNA. That their orientation is as much a part of them, innate to be borne out in adulthood, as their sexual preferences. And indeed, any other part of their character and person.
I would be very interested to hear your opinions on whether kink identity is genetic. Please leave me a comment below!
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