So, The Pipedream Fetish Fantasy Free Eyemask Is Totally Crap
A Stampy Pants Rant by Cara Sutra
I have no idea why Pipedream Products go on about giving away a free eyemask so much on the packaging for much of the Pipedream and Fetish Fantasy ranges of sex toys, strap on harnesses and fetish and bondage gear.
Firstly, ‘eyemask’? Really? It is not an eye mask, you’re not wearing it to get some decent shut-eye at bedtime. If it is arriving in a box with a ring gag, vibrating strap on or door restraints then in all likelihood its main purpose is to be a blindfold – that is to remove the willing ‘victim’ (aka slave / submissive / bottom / lover) of their ability to see, thereby heightening all other senses.
Removing someone’s sight does indeed heighten the anticipation of promised sensual delights, touch, stimulation, heated wax or special effect oils and lubes blown upon on the skin. Perhaps the use of a Wartenburg Wheel or a firm slap with a spanker. However – this ‘eyemask’? Nope.
Firstly when it falls out of the box, the added freebie, the bonus feature of your Pipedream product, it is disappointingly slim. As in, if it were a mobile phone then an entire Apple conference would orgasm simultaneously upon spying it, it’s that thin. It’s folded double in a sealed polythene packet and looks like a plastic covered black rectangle. Nothing special, nothing amazing, no wows.
Rip open the plastic sealing the blindfold… sorry, eyemask, within. Take note: you must rip the plastic open, I made the mistake once of using scissors and accidentally cut through the blindfold. That’s how fragile this thing is.
Tip out the blindfold. Yes, it’s meant to be a blindfold, no denying it. It’s still folded in half. It’s like a black piece of paper with a string attached. Open it out. Yep – a blindfold barely shaped, flat as anything, with a thin piece of elastic attached. The elastic is thinner than we girls used to use at school to put round our ankles and hop in, out and between.
It does not stay on someone’s head, it slips around over hair, it lets light in and it can rip at any time. There is no way this has the right to call itself a blindfold – or eyemask- that can be used in any Fetish, BDSM or kink session situation.
In summary it’s a complete waste of elastic that could be used in someone’s knickers. Sew the rest of the material together and make goth curtains with them or something – oops no, it would let in too much sunlight.
In any case – rant over.
I don’t like them.