Quick Beginner’s Guide To Bondage

by Cara Sutra

Thanks to the likes of Fifty Shades of Grey bringing kink to the forefront of everyone’s mind in the past 12 months, bondage has seen a massive increase in popularity and not just as a saucy secret behind the closed doors of adventurous couples. If you’re interested in kinking up your sex life a little, hopefully this quick beginner’s guide to bondage will be of help.

A Quick Beginner's Guide To Bondage by Cara SutraOf course, bondage and sexy roleplay has been enjoyed by many people the world over for a long time, not merely because of a certain Mr Grey and the lip bitingly ‘innocent’ Anastasia Steele.

The term bondage can mean different things to different people and the term itself encapsulates an intimate and enjoyable activity that includes many different facets.

Where to begin? What sort of bondage is right for you?

Bondage literally means the act of being bound. That is to say having your movement limited, usually by a partner in terms of enjoyable adult bondage role play. Bondage loving individuals enjoy being placed in a situation where they are kept fully or partially immobile, trusting their partner while they are in a vulnerable position and exploring the heightened physical and mental sensations that bondage has to offer.

Firstly, decide whether bondage is something you truly wish to engage in. It’s not for everyone, but when practised safely and with a trusted partner during consensual adult activity, it can open your mind and body to a whole new world of pleasure.

How to get started with bondage

There are many methods that you can choose from when embarking upon your bondage voyage of discovery. Let’s take a look at some of your options:

Ankle and Wrist Cuffs / Restraints

Cuffs are what many see as the cornerstone of bondage accessories. Handcuffs as well as ankle cuffs are easy to use when restraining the limbs of your partner. They can be used on the person alone, cuffing together wrists and/or ankles, or used to cuff a wrist or ankle to something sturdy such as a bed or other piece of furniture.

Wrist and ankle cuffs are widely available and come in a large variety of styles and materials, depending on what you are looking for.

There are heavy duty metal handcuffs, ready made rope cuffs, traditional leather bondage wrist cuffs which fasten easily with a buckle, softer satin styles as well as door jam cuffs that transform any internal door into your very own piece of sex furniture!

Bondage Tape

Bondage tape is easy to use and fantastic fun! It is available in a choice of many different colours and can be reused – so represents amazing value for money.

This truly amazing invention sticks to itself, not to the skin, so it can be safely used even over your more sensitive areas. It can form a gag for your partner, wrist or ankle cuffs, a secure blindfold – or even create some truly erotic outfits. The choice is yours!

Bondage tape is available in so many different colours and is quite cheap, so good if you’re on a tight budget. As it were!

Fantasy_Cara_SutraBondage Kits

As more people discover the wonders of bondage, the methods to bind just keep on getting more creative. There are a whole host of bondage sets that work ‘out-of-the-box’ – meaning less work and much more fun for you and your partner.

With no need to worry about difficult knots, reading manuals or learning other bondage intricacies, these sets are perfect for beginners.

My own Fantasy by Cara Sutra Beginner’s Bondage Kit is £69, available in black or red and includes 8 items which are great for beginners, and comes with a handy tips and advice sheet.

There are many other beginner’s bondage kits available too, some of which contain a range of romantic accessories from mini vibrators to erotic massage candles. These could be perfect for your first kinky session together.

Bondage Rope

Rope is a truly beautiful bondage accessory and can be used to transform a clothed or naked body into a breathtaking work of art.

In the hands of the skilled, bondage rope can be placed on a person in such ways that the ties are kept secure yet safe. Shibari is a Japanese form of bondage rope art which is the basis of many creative and artistic photography shoots.

If you wish to experiment with rope, there are various styles available at low prices, such as hemp rope and silk rope.

Take care never to place the rope around your partner’s neck and only use knots which have been illustrated in the accompanying materials. Rope is a bondage tool which is better for the more advanced bondage practitioner.

If you do wish to give rope bondage a try, you can choose from some untreated Jute Rope, Black Cotton Bondage Rope or vivid House of Eros Red Braided Bondage Rope – as well as many other types.

Bondage Top Tips

Things to think about when selecting your first bondage style purchase include your budget as well as the space you will have available. There is no point investing in a full dungeon style set up if 1) you don’t have the room and 2) you don’t know if you will enjoy it yet.

My advice would be to start small, simple and safe. Enthusiasm is fine but take it slow, explore the options with your partner and keep the lines of communication open so that neither one of you risks making your partner feel left behind or uncomfortable.

Most couples have at least a double bed so a great way to start enjoying bondage is to purchase one of the under bed restraints bondage kits that are easily placed underneath a double (up to king sized) mattress. Wrist and ankle cuffs attach to tethers and bondage is then easily enjoyed before, during or after your usual love making activities.

Bed restraint systems are also perfect for those who don’t have a head board which can be used along with traditional cuffs, such as foam or padded styles. If you do have a head board which has sturdy bars, then I would advise using comfortable leather or neoprene cuffs if these are your chosen method. Metal cuffs are, in my experience, quite uncomfortable and off putting!

An under bed bondage restraints set is an easy way to enjoy the bondage sensation of cuffs in the comfort of your bed.

Keep the comfort of your bound partner in mind at all times. During bondage role play, it is absolutely essential that you have set in place a ‘safeword’. This is a word agreed between you which means, “please, stop now, I am not comfortable with this.”

Words such as “no” or “stop” should be avoided as they could be said in the heat of the moment as part of the roleplay. Your safeword should be something that can be easily identified as seriously meaning stop, such as “oranges” or “giraffe.”

The traffic light system is commonly used within the kink scene. Stating “red” means, “stop this now please” and stating “amber” means, “can we stop momentarily to discuss how to proceed in a way I am more comfortable with.”

Safety should be paramount in both of your minds, as well as full mutual consent – the same as with any sexual activity.

Armed with this beginner’s guide to bondage knowledge as well as your chosen purchases, you will be ready to share in each other’s deviant delights exploring the sensational world of bondage.

Enjoy your kinky adventures!

 

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One Response to “A Quick Beginner’s Guide to Bondage”

  1. Cara Sutra

    Thanks for your comment. Please feel free to email me, at cara (at) carasutra.co.uk and we can discuss posts and more! 🙂

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